[Worried_Girl]

Well first of all hi, I'm new here, this is my first post. I have been dating a guy for a few months, we also dated for a few months last year, but broke up because of my obsessive worrying. i worry that he is going to break up with me or that he is having doubts and not telling me. Everyone i talk to says there is no basis for that judging by his behavior. I even know that it is true there is no basis for it. He calls, comes over, spends time with me, etc. I just get the thought in my head and worry about it. I over analyze everything he says and does to try to "figure out" if he is going to break up with me. If I ask him if we are ok or if he is mad or if he still wants to be together he will tolerate it a few times, but gets frustrated with me always asking. I don't want to drive him away or push him away. Any suggestions? thanks!

[(JD)]

Welcome to PC! Sigh, I can only suggest that you ask him to hang in there with you while you figure out why you are doing this? TC.

[walkswithspiritbear]

Hello Worried Girl!! Welcome To PC,
There are alot of things I would like to ask you, such as have you ever been abandoned before by someone you cared for as in a parent or something.... sometimes that leads to fear of abandonment. This is something you may need to seek therapy for, I hate to say that to anyone but you may get some fantastic opinions here and some great help ideas.
I am going to have to think about this and then come back again. I understand I think what you are going through and would love to be able to help, but I have to get my thoughts in order first or well who knows what dribble I will say....... Take care and I hope that someone will be able to give you some real answers to your concerns... sending a gentle hug your way. Linda

Usually people who have faced rejection (and/or been badly hurt) before tend to function by always expecting/fearing they will be abandonned... again. Also usually accompanied by low self-esteem/confidence.

It is a difficult situation. If you have been in such a situation before (rejection etc.) maybe you could talk to him and explain why you are so worried. If he knows where you're coming from he could support you and calm your fears.

On the other hand, and this is the difficult part, you do need to let go of your fears - or at least don't vocalise it as much as he gets frustrated. Is there anyone who could help you work through these issues?