[comicgeek007]

I've been dating my current boyfriend for 4 years. Because of various circumstances that had nothing to do with our relationship, 4 months ago we had to move 14 hours away from each other and haven't seen each other since then. Other than the occasional phone call and text messages, I've been cut off from him and the rest of my family.

I've had chronic depression for a bit less than three years with sporadic periods of suicidal/self-harming thoughts and actions. I'm not going to get into all the details of why I can't get an appropriate counselor for that since that's not the topic at hand.

My boyfriend knows about well, everything. I feel bad about worrying him, but I really don't have anyone else to talk to. I can't really even talk to my family because they seem to think I'm looking for attention and just make me feel worse whenever I try to talk to them about it. Since the move, my depression's gotten consistently worse, especially since I found out I'll only get to see my boyfriend for 3 days around Christmas and then we won't get to see each other until some point in the summer, maybe not even then. It's not his fault, so I feel guilty for asking when we'll get to see each other. And I don't want to make him feel guilty about how bad my depression's getting worse, even after trying to spend just about every waking moment with friends, so I haven't been talking to him about it because he can't do anything about it.

I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, if that makes sense. If I tell him about how I've been feeling, I may be worrying him needlessly. If I don't, I guess I have to suck it up and try to make it through the week without doing something stupid. I've gotten to the point that I want to end it, but I can't stomach the thought of hurting people I care about.

I don't think I'm really sure what I'm asking about anymore. I just don't want to hurt him.

[Leed]

Since you can't see a therapist, can you at least see your medical doctor? He can at least prescribe an antidepressant. Please don't say you don't WANT to take one because we're talking about your very LIFE here. I've been on antidepressants for over 30 years now, if not close to 40. I've been depressed since I was a very small child. I know all about depression, and wanting to end it all, but the antidepressants change all that.

They really do make a difference. Some take up to 6 weeks to take effect, and with some it only takes a few days or a couple of weeks to take effect. So you can wait that long for relief. And believe me, it IS relief!! It feels like the whole world has been taken off your shoulders, and you've been "reborn."

Please see your doctor. There is nothing wrong with taking these meds and they are NOT addictive. Get some help for yourself, and maybe in time you'll be able to see a therapist and get off the antidepressants. But for now, take them. One thing tho -- do NOT abruptly stop taking them because that's VERY DANGEROUS. It could cause seizures and very bad withdrawal effects if you stop all of a sudden. Just thought I'd warn you about that in case the doctors don't.

God bless and please take care. And let us know how you do, okay? Hugs, Lee

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by Leed

Since you can't see a therapist, can you at least see your medical doctor? He can at least prescribe an antidepressant. Please don't say you don't WANT to take one because we're talking about your very LIFE here. I've been on antidepressants for over 30 years now, if not close to 40. I've been depressed since I was a very small child. I know all about depression, and wanting to end it all, but the antidepressants change all that.

They really do make a difference. Some take up to 6 weeks to take effect, and with some it only takes a few days or a couple of weeks to take effect. So you can wait that long for relief. And believe me, it IS relief!! It feels like the whole world has been taken off your shoulders, and you've been "reborn."

Please see your doctor. There is nothing wrong with taking these meds and they are NOT addictive. Get some help for yourself, and maybe in time you'll be able to see a therapist and get off the antidepressants. But for now, take them. One thing tho -- do NOT abruptly stop taking them because that's VERY DANGEROUS. It could cause seizures and very bad withdrawal effects if you stop all of a sudden. Just thought I'd warn you about that in case the doctors don't.

God bless and please take care. And let us know how you do, okay? Hugs, Lee

I'm not opposed to taking something for this, I think I want to get better. At the very least I want to not feel like I've been feeling. I'm worried, though, and it might be a silly concern, that since I'm at university right now, it might go into some academic record or something and it'll haunt me for the rest of my time here or longer.