[DivineB]

i don't want to love anymore it hurt i love her and she left because she could not deal with my issues i'm bipolar but she didn't know how to deal with it so she got so frustrated with dealing with it i refused to get help but i love her dearly and she still says she love me but she wants to work on the relationship but then she says idk idk idk when it comes to me asking for another chance i never felt love like this i want to see her i want to hug her and it hurts so effing much i cant take it no more i dont want to love her anymore cause it hurts she is so mad at me because i took so long to get this help it was a 3 year relationship and it took going this far for me to get help but like i can't deal with this it makes me wish for death it makes want it. it makes hate everyone and everything please i can't cope with it anymore......

[Leed]

Why did you wait so long to get help? You must have known she wanted you to get help. She must have told you that you either get help or she's leaving, right? So you had plenty of time to get the help you need.

I'm sorry this happened. I really am. But make sure you keep going to your therapist. It's very possible she will come back!!! Once she sees that you're getting better, she COULD come back. But she might not either. But you COULD find another GREAT girl even better than this one after you start getting better. So continue with your therapy and start healing. You really need the therapy in order to get well.

Please take care of yourself, okay? God bless and keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

[DivineB]

not at first she really tried to convince me to repress it all but when that happened i kinda didn't kno how to keep me from cracking open and when it went this far like i don't blame her i just feel like i failed her you know and first i failed me..... like she has molestation issues and thats how she deals by hiding and thats what she wanted me to do

First off, Divine, I understand. It's not always easy to face your challenges. Sometimes it takes the worst things to make us really realize how badly we need help. 3 years is nothing compared to how long I fought it for so I'm not going to judge you on that! But that being said, I hope you stick with it now

On the positive side, Leed said "she might just come back!" Thing is, she seems to have emphasized your getting help and it sounds like she genuinely just wants that to happen before recommitting to you. We can't know for sure that she'll wait long enough for you to start getting better, I'm sad to say but the fact that she's said she wants you to get help is a positive sign. Don't take her "idk idk idk" too negatively. She's at her wit's end right now and she is not about to just say "ok I'm back" too easily yet. She wants to see genuine change or at least effort before shes' sure she wants to do that. Thing is, this is probably a wonderful thing for you both individually and as a potential couple. If she gives in too easily, can you see how you might easily be tempted to grow complacent again? I can. It happens. So let it go for now, work on you, if you really love her as much as you say you do, that's the best possible thing you can do to win her back!

*hugs*

[DivineB]

like now i'm confused about it cause she came to get me and go the the movies and my get food first and we kiss .....and like really never felt that way before i've had thought i was in love but watching her smile just sets me ablaze.....she told me she loves me multipule times and we kiss for wht seems like forever and i've thinking about it i've been waiting for her just to let me kno she got home just so i can say goodnight but nothing i've only called once i texted her right before this just to make sure she is ok but nada nothing like i put myself in she bought everything tonight everything and she took me out

[DivineB]

i just dont kno really how to do this the right way and just not care about her at all and live for the moment or try to build a lasting reltionship