Hi so there is this woman i am infatuated with, she has a boyfriend and she's probably going to marry him, and also even if she was single I am not capable of having a relationship with anyone as i recently found out.

Anyway I keep dreaming about her. The first dream I was robbing her house and then she came home and caught me. Another dream she had cancer and in the dream I was glad she had cancer, even though she's a nice woman as far as I can tell so I have no reason to wish her any harm, and I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone anyway. When I woke up I was glad it was all a dream.

Obviously I am just jealous of her.

I am mostly over her these days, and I haven't seen her for like 2 months, just wish i could be more like her, but again i am starting to feel that this is impossible. I have a certain physical and mental conditions and i wish she would have something too. I comfort myself by thinking that maybe she has painful but otherwise harmless cysts on her ovaries or something. Something that would make her human and vulnerable and flawed as I am.

[possum220]

Why do you wish this woman pain?

She is human and therefore has flaws. None of us are perfect. Give yourself a present of peace in regard to this woman and let her go. You only seem to be causing yourself pain at the moment.

Maybe change your focus to some hobby, anything, other than her.

Maybe she is perfect, nobody knows. I can't find any flaws.

[possum220]

If you can't find any flaws you don't know her well enough.

Originally Posted by possum220

If you can't find any flaws you don't know her well enough.

What kind of flaws do you think she would have? Probably stuff that doesn't even matter, maybe she's just bad at mopping floors or something useless like that. Anyway you don't have to respond to this, I just can't imagine her having any significant limitations.

[Leed]

Everyone has flaws that we're very good at hiding. For all you know, maybe she's a back-stabbing, horrible person and you don't know it. Or maybe she has a terrible temper.

People may look perfect on the outside, but on the inside there are plenty of things that can be hidden. You just never know. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just be glad you're YOU. And be the best YOU that you can be. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[OnyxRayne]

I'm sure she has some flaws. Everybody does, whether they're visible or not. Try not to compare yourself -it can be so hard. I have the same problem. Be happy to be yourself. You're you, and you're unique!

I'm sure some people are just BETTER than other people though aren't they? I know we keep getting told this isn't the case, but really it is.

[NoCake]

Sorry IT. It sounds like you're just fishing now.

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Hi so there is this woman i am infatuated with, she has a boyfriend and she's probably going to marry him, and also even if she was single I am not capable of having a relationship with anyone as i recently found out.

Anyway I keep dreaming about her. The first dream I was robbing her house and then she came home and caught me. Another dream she had cancer and in the dream I was glad she had cancer, even though she's a nice woman as far as I can tell so I have no reason to wish her any harm, and I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone anyway. When I woke up I was glad it was all a dream.

Obviously I am just jealous of her.

I am mostly over her these days, and I haven't seen her for like 2 months, just wish i could be more like her, but again i am starting to feel that this is impossible. I have a certain physical and mental conditions and i wish she would have something too. I comfort myself by thinking that maybe she has painful but otherwise harmless cysts on her ovaries or something. Something that would make her human and vulnerable and flawed as I am.

Why did you say you're infatuated at all? Doesn't sound like infatuation whatsoever, sounds like pure jealousy and obsessiveness. To wish pain on someone or mishaps and enjoying the idea to make you feel better about yourself is just bordering on sadistic thoughts. In my mind you can't be infatuated with someone while wishing they were hurt or messed up in any way. On top of that you're dreamiing of actually causing her harm by robbing her? Sounds more like anger at her than anything.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Why did you say you're infatuated at all? Doesn't sound like infatuation whatsoever, sounds like pure jealousy and obsessiveness. To wish pain on someone or mishaps and enjoying the idea to make you feel better about yourself is just bordering on sadistic thoughts. In my mind you can't be infatuated with someone while wishing they were hurt or messed up in any way. On top of that you're dreamiing of actually causing her harm by robbing her? Sounds more like anger at her than anything.

Agreed with s4ndm4n2006 in that it is not infatuation.
Here is the forum to post dreams for interpretation:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=82

[Secretum]

Slight tangent-I want to comment on this:

I'm sure some people are just BETTER than other people though aren't they? I know we keep getting told this isn't the case, but really it is.

I understand that line of thinking well, as I used it to torture myself for years. I told myself that there was some absolute hierarchy of human worth based on things like intelligence, attractiveness, success, etc. I believed that I was inferior to everyone else because of this, that I was less human. Intellectually I knew that there was no such hierarchy, but emotionally I fully believed it.

Now I am mentally healthier, and I can see how messed up my idea of an absolute hierarchy is. Who is to judge whether anyone is better than anyone else in an absolute sense? Intelligence, attractiveness, success, whatever-they're all judged very subjectively.

There is no hierarchy of value. You have just as much of a right to breathe, enjoy the sunshine, have friends, and revel in your love for life as this woman (or anyone else) does. I know that your brain knows this. Try to convince your heart; you'll be much happier for it.

Originally Posted by NoCake

Sorry IT. It sounds like you're just fishing now.

Fishing for what? I'm just walking you all through the conversation I have with myself when I think about her. These are the questions I have.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Why did you say you're infatuated at all? Doesn't sound like infatuation whatsoever, sounds like pure jealousy and obsessiveness. To wish pain on someone or mishaps and enjoying the idea to make you feel better about yourself is just bordering on sadistic thoughts. In my mind you can't be infatuated with someone while wishing they were hurt or messed up in any way. On top of that you're dreamiing of actually causing her harm by robbing her? Sounds more like anger at her than anything.

I don't know if i actually wish her pain or poor health . . . if i had the chance to inflict it I probably wouldn't.

Also the dream was about robbing her house, where she lived with her father and also her sister. I have never met her dad and she doesn't even have a sister so that was weird. In the dream her dad made me return all the stuff and then he lectured me and was sympathetic to me, although she seemed pissed off the whole time.