[DevilsMatrix]

For those of you who have read 'Sex at 15... the issues of Bipolar' and assumed that was my 'first time', please don't be horrified that you are wrong. Everyone is always so horrified. I know that you will say to not be ashamed, but it's starting to eat away at my insides...

But anyway. thats not what this is about.

There was a guy I met at a party on one of my 'highs'. He was so very sweet and nice and... talll.... and drunk. We kinda paired up and hung out during the night, due tot he fact I knew no-one there. at all. His name, was Jake.
Anyway. Long story short, he said he liked nickelback and I fell in love. He gave me a beer or two, and asked me to come for a walk so he could have a smoke. He told me all these sweet things that made me believe he was a great guy... and alcohole makes me a little... flirtatious. And I was on a high as well, so I was being very reckless indeed. He made me do things I didn't want to do... I told him to stop, and he would... but then he'd keep going after saying something to calm me down. he had a gift with words.
Finally I got myself on my feet and he just picked me up... full on picked me up like I weighed nothing, kissed me and asked for my number. I have a slight phobia of being picked up. Not to mention I was a little low on clothes at the time.

Anyway, i got over it eventually... I was scared of guys for a while, would scream when they touched me. I was 13 at the time and fridgit as hell. Last night, he tried to video call me, then sent me a ton of messages asking to meet up. I cried under my desk for ages.

I know myself a little better now, and I know that I will probably end up saying yes and going to meet him at 3am. Because when I'm on a high, I crave being reckless. And I hate it. I hate myself, because I KNOW I'm going to keep making the same mistakes and it pisses me off so much.

What do I do...? [thankyou for reading, if you have ever been in this situation or have an idea, please note me. or note me anyway. I love notes.]

[hamster-bamster]

You probably need a mood stabilizer medication. I do not know anything about medications at your age though.

How did he video call you? On Skype? Ban him in Skype. On GMAIL? Filter him out.

[hamster-bamster]

I will tell you a story about something related.

I have three children.

The first two were born in hospitals. I had really great, powerful, and efficient contractions so the OB-GYNs did not offer epidural - the usual way to deal with the pain of childbirth in the US. But towards the end stage of pushing, I was in great pain. I was offered pain reliever through an IV. I agreed, even though I had gone into labor planning on having it unmedicated.

The IV did very little. It "took the edge off the pain" as they say. The pain did not disappear. It was just a bit less, and even that, for only a short period of time. And then back in full force. Another IV, a bit of taking edge off the pain.

I did not like myself for agreeing to the medication, but I was in so much pain, so weak and vulnerable, that I agreed.

Before I got pregnant with my third child, I already knew what to do. I knew that in this vulnerable state I cannot resist being offered pain reliever, even realizing that it would do very little for me. And in general I do not have a lot of will power. So I removed myself from the situation of temptation - I had a midwife-assisted home birth. Midwives who catch babies at home do not have pain medicines on hand. So there was nothing to tempt me. Plus, they were supportive, literally held me, gave me a gym ball to lean on which helped greatly, and I had an absolutely awesome birth experience.

Pain medication through IV sedates newborns. My third child, when born, was not sedated at all. She was put to my breast right away and nursed until she was so full she fell asleep, but not from sedation - from having a full tummy.

I know I would have been unable to do it had I not removed myself from the environment that exploited my weakness and vulnerability.

Your situation is identical to mine. Being high, having had a little alcohol etc. makes you weak and vulnerable. Guys can exploit it. So the trick is to remove yourself from exploitative environment. That is why I suggest enlisting the help of technology, be it Skype, GMAIL, or whatever you use. Out of sight, out of mind.

[DevilsMatrix]

Thankyou so much for this. It was over facebook... so I shall figure out how to block him, or at least his messages.I've never been game enought to do this... I used to call it a 'fear of hurting people', but I think it's just because I'm scared of they're reaction. I don't know what I'd do if I saw him in person. Probably run.

You have three children? Thats amazing <3 I'm very happy for you =]

I cant get any medication, mainly due to the fact that I cant go to a therapist/doctor, because if my parents found out I would be sent away. I just have to find ways of handling this myself until I am older... I just hope I can avoid bad situations for that long.

[DevilsMatrix]

Thankyou so much for sharing your story, it was so inspirational <3

[hamster-bamster]

I am glad! My children do no live with me, due to bad choices I made later. But they are great kids.

And when I had Julia, my third child, at home, I was already 29 but still unable to resist temptation. And you much younger which makes it harder for you.

[hamster-bamster]

How many years until you can see a doctor without your parents' consent OR KNOWLEDGE?

[DevilsMatrix]

I have no idea... I haven't researched it at all. I'm 15 this year... I suppose, when I'm 18 or 21? I'm not sure

[hamster-bamster]

Please research it. I hope it is not later than 18. And, I cannot understand your Greek message .

[DevilsMatrix]

aha ;D It says 'rainbows can cry too'. Its meant to be cryptic or something. Idk. I was out of ideas for something inspirational. =]
Same here. I shall google it, because google is a genius =]

[RomanSunburn]

I've used facebook to completely block people. My husband had an abusive ex girlfriend. But someone she managed to become great friends with my mother in law while they were dating. Every where I looked on facebook, there she was. So eventually, I just completely blocked her. Fun fact, we also used to be friends, too. Point of the story: You have to do what is best for YOU. Not worry about how other people will take it. That's not your problem. You have to change the things you can change and not worry about the rest. And besides, if you completely block him (and I mean COMPLETELY), then you'll never know his reaction

Good luck. Keep taking care of yourself.

[DevilsMatrix]

I will try, thankyou. =D
I'm just scared about seeing him in person! Gosh, that would be so scary..
And I guess I need to learn that. To look after myself, not others.. A friend of mine said this was my issue as well. Thankyou so much for the support and hugs, it means alot =]

[Confusedinomicon]

You can go to planned parenthood now. You dont need to wait until you are 18. Give your local place a call.

[DevilsMatrix]

planned parenthood? whats that?

[sallyjoseph]

Forget everything and don't do that mistake again and keep away from him or just ignore.

[RomanSunburn]

Here's the website for Planned Parenthood. It's an organization that works to promote safe sex and the health needs of women. They have a section for teens.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

I don't know the laws in every state, but they'll be able to tell you what they can and can't do for you, at your age, in your state. They should be able to help you, though.

[firefighter369]

well I two gave into temptation myself...I was hanging out with this girl I just met we were watching tv and one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex...it was my first time and I told myself to wait for someone I loved. I beat myself up for awhile about giving into temptation but I have learned to deal with it...giving into temptation is apart of growing...even apart of life. its not gonna get easier but your gonna have to learn from it...btw im only 18

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

Here's the website for Planned Parenthood. It's an organization that works to promote safe sex and the health needs of women. They have a section for teens.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

I don't know the laws in every state, but they'll be able to tell you what they can and can't do for you, at your age, in your state. They should be able to help you, though.

OP is an Australia and I am getting weird results trying to search for PP in Australia. I agree with you and Confused that PP would be the best option by far, I am just unsure about their availability in Australia.

[RomanSunburn]

Thanks for pointing that out, Hamster.

I just googled "Planned Parenthood equivalent Australia" and this is what came up...

http://www.shfpa.org.au/

I (clearly) wouldn't know if it's set up like Planned Parenthood at all, especially with how they treat minors. But still worth looking into.