Need Help After A One Night Stand

Short and to the point, I had a one night stand with an old classmate during the planning of a hs reunion. We are both married, he (of course) said he was unhappy with his sex life, I was unhappy in every area but that. He said things that made me feel good and things went to far. My husband found out. It's been 9 months since that happened. I'm not sure what to do now. My husband has been on an emotional rollercoaster (understandably) I don't know what he wants from me. I've asked he says I have the best opportunity to keep a free life of having men over anytime I want. He works 2 hours away traveling everyday working the afternoon shift so I am in bed when he gets home and gone before he wakes up. We have 2 kids 8-6. I am so depressed and upset over what I have done, but I don't know how to make things better. He of course doesn't trust me. Won't do counseling. Any suggustions?

Sometimes I have not wanted counseling, too, and then tried to find other ways to solve problems. And counseling is not the only way for everyone. They say life is a great teacher, too. You may be able to find help by posting here, going to the library and finding books on how to relieve depression and how to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes in life. There isn't anyone who hasn't. You said you are unhappy in many ways with your relationship and that is an issue you might also want to focus on to try and alleviate the depression. There are books on improving relationships if you are interested. Of course, there is also marriage counseling. You might want to just keep the idea "on the back burner" and give it some thought sometime if other things don't seem to help enough.

If your depression is interfering badly with your life, too, you might want to tell your doctor about it. Sometimes antidepressants can help a lot. They are not for everybody either but they help a lot of people when they can't pull out of that pit.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough go of it and hope I've been of some sort of help. Remember your're not alone and not the only one who's done that. Been there, too. There's lots of helpful, caring, nonjudgemental, knowledgeable people here who are willing to "listen" and share there thoughts. Hope you'll hang around.

<font color=green>"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin
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What would you do if he engaged in sexual intercourse with another person, and you learned of it? How would you feel? What would you want to happen? How would you regain the trust in him? What if you were concerned he contracted AIDS? What would you do if the story was reversed? (None of these questions were said in judgement.)