[doggiedo]

I'm having a really tough day. Super great, productive day at work, but tonight I came home to get ready for my date (third one so far) and I just put on a shirt that I usually can pull off. I feel horribly fat and ugly. I don't even want to go out now. I feel like I have nothing that looks flattering and I'm sure he's just going to think I'm a blob. We haven't kissed yet, so I'm erects sure he'll make a move tonight. But all I can think of is, I hope he doesn't out his hand on my lower back and feel my muffin top! Or, I hope he doesn't see I have a roll or a double chin! I was fine until I put on that darn shirt.

So instead of doing something fancy, we decided to do pizza...and then come back to my house and watch a movie and play with my dog so he was easy to convince that jeans and a comfy sweatshirt would be perfect for the occasion. Actually, I think he's wearing fleece pants he said.

I want to cancel the date entirely. I know I won't do it, bc that's rude, but I am literally hating the way I look right now. I hate it. No one is going to ev find me attractive. I'm not even overweight, but for me...I completely am!

I struggled with anorexia and over exercising a few years back be had this beat. Now I just want to have that back...I just don't want to go tonight. I don't want any guy near me right now.

Its just nerves! Its ok, I've often felt that way when going on dates, or anything that's important, like a job interview.

Try and relax, and have a good time. If you don't want him to come back to your house after pizza, then just say no to him! Please don't do anything you do not want, and perhaps some of those nerves will go when you know you're in control...

Good luck!

[doggiedo]

Thanks Hun. No I know I can say no. I don't expect or want anything more than a kiss here or there..nothing more. He seems like a gentleman, so I'm not too worried, but I am cautious.

[Confusedinomicon]

I am not overweight but have pudge. I say you just go for it. I think its the negavtive thinking related to your ed. You just have to force yourself to go to show yourself its fine. The hardest part is getting there!

[hamster-bamster]

I agree with Confused - it is just your ED speaking.

If depression said to commit suicide, would you do it? No. Likewise, if ED says stay home, do not listen.

[doggiedo]

We grabbed a bite to eat and came home. I wore a big puffer jacket bc it's like two degrees outside. We came back to my place an watched a movie. No kiss. I was ready for him to go but we watched a little tv and then he left.

Talk about awkward- I walked him out to his car bc I wanted to take my dog out to go potty once more. So while my dog is taking a dump, all I can think is, "gosh I hope he doesn't try to kiss me right now- how unromantic would that be!"

The entire date I kinda just felt annoyed. He asked if we can hang out again tomorrow. I just didn't feel comfortable with him. But it's not just him, it's almost every guy I date- and even guys I really have feelings for or have date long term- it's like really nerve wracking for me for the first few months. I'm constantly thinking- what is he thinking? Will his happen too, if I eventually find the right guy? Like is this my motive?

WHat do I say when he texts me tomorrow?

[shlump]

He didn't kiss you,

but he did ask to see you tomorrow. Maybe he is very shy. That could annoy you if you don't see it for what it is, the way he may have acted.

Sleep on it. Maybe it will come to you when you wake up.

Hey may have not kissed you because he could sense that you felt annoyed? Even if as polite as you can be, body language can give our feelings away.

And.. by your post, have you ever considered having a couple of months away from the dating scene? I know you really want to meet someone & have the marriage & kids thing, but I was wondering if you are not just fed up with it all for the mo? I hope you forgive me for saying it, but you sound very weary of the whole thing, and am just thinking perhaps a break will help you get your mojo back.

Hugs

[doggiedo]

Riot- that's exactly what I think I need. I think I realize that. No matter how great the guy is, as in this case, if I'm not ready for a relationship then at not going to work.

I told him today that I didn't see it going anywhere. I feel really bad and stuff but I'd rather be honest wih him. I feel better if I'm honest and upfront. Even though I still feel bad.

It's good to be honest, and it would save you both from wasting time..

And I hope you look after yourself, have lots of tlc and 'me' time. Spring is around the corner, and it may bring back a spring in your step with the dating scene (plus its easier to look smoking hot without the wind and rain wrecking the hair)!!

Big hugs!

[doggiedo]

Haha so true about the weather and hair! But I already have 2 more months left on my online dating site. Should I just leave it? Even tho it's already paid for?

That's up to you and how you feel. Sometimes money is just money, if you know what I mean, and if you need a break, then its one of those things where its just money, even if a waste. Your well-being is more important?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Haha so true about the weather and hair! But I already have 2 more months left on my online dating site. Should I just leave it? Even tho it's already paid for?

Just do not look at it. Filter your email (in Gmail) to auto-archive messages and updates from the dating site. Or, in Outlook, create a folder for them and a rule.

Then come back in a month and see what has been happening.

[doggiedo]

Yea I could do that. I don't have them send me any email right now anyhow. I have to login and check my mail on the site.

I have had TV dinners a few times this week, and kinda feel like one of those people that I used to feel bad for...who goes home, watches tv with the lights off, has candy or TV dinners. It's lame. I AM LAME.

[hamster-bamster]

I buy steam-in-the-bag microwaveable vegetables and eat them.

Do you like him ?