[ACC_gal]

I don't get it! I thought me and mom were close... now with all my health stuggles and now just having heart surgery Mom came to visit me in the hospital and started screaming at me! She told me she NEVER loved me becuase I was SUPPOSED to be NORMAL and not have this brain defect I was born with.. ACC( NO corpus callosum in my brain). Her son hung himself at age 10 and immediately after she concieved ME.. to replace him. She said I was SUPPOSED to be a perfect baby but was a real let down. And have always been the cause of the families troubles... including her divorce. She also said I am defectrive and not the daughter she wanted... and she does not love me. She also told me my NEW "noisy heart valves" drive her NUTS.. she cannot tolerate the ticking noise.. Like I can help THIS. it was valve replacement or die! my heart is once again broken but in a whole new way.. and still painful.. maybe more so then the MVP ever was. I would rather have MVP then this heart break

[Sabrina]

I'm so sorry your Mom said these hurtful things to you with every thing you're going through

[NoCake]

ACC_gal you don't deserve to be treated that way at all. Your mom sounds like she is really breaking down and she's taking it out on you which isn't fair at all.

The fact that you manage to deal with all these things is inspirational to me. Don't let anyone tell you that there is something wrong with you - not even your own mother. It is obvious to me from your posts that you are a beautiful person and it's her loss if she can't see that.

[AngelWolf3]

I am so sorry. You deserve more than this....she has no right to say those things and treat you likes that. You are strong for making it through the surgery and surviving all you have been through.

[Chocolatte]

Aww.. this is sad, I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't think this justifies anything she has said to you but maybe she's just been undergoing a lot of stress because of the surgery, etc and channeling out her frustrations on you? I know I sometimes lash out at people I love when I get stressed and it makes me feel bad. I hope you two can work it out soon.

[LovelaceF]

Originally Posted by ACC_gal

She said I was SUPPOSED to be a perfect baby but was a real let down. And have always been the cause of the families troubles... including her divorce. She also said I am defectrive and not the daughter she wanted... and she does not love me. She also told me my NEW "noisy heart valves" drive her NUTS.. she cannot tolerate the ticking noise.. Like I can help THIS.

This is so sad to read. You absolutely, positively, do not deserve this kind of treatment from any person, let alone your own mother!

Notice what she said...it's all about her, not you. She is being selfish, self absorbed and narcissistic to the extreme.

Do you have an aunt or someone else to support you?

[hamster-bamster]

This is truly horrible. You just did not luck out on your mom or on your health issues, but you will have luck with something else that is equally important in life!!

Is MVP mitral valve prolapse?

[hamster-bamster]

So you have suicide history in the immediate family - be careful and make sure your doctor or therapist know of this history.

[hamster-bamster]

SONNET 90

Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah, do not, when my heart hath 'scoped this sorrow,
Come in the rearward of a conquer'd woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purposed overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite
But in the onset come; so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune's might,
And other strains of woe, which now seem woe,
Compared with loss of thee will not seem so.

[hamster-bamster]

But in reality, there is never a good time to throw away your loved on. It just hurts you particularly bad now, after the valve replacement surgery. But any time would be a bad time for that.

[adam_k]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's not your fault you have health problems. She should be standing by your side supporting you. No one is perfect. Some of us have health problems, some of us have mental problems and some people are just plain a**es. We all have our pros and cons, but we all deserve to have people in our lives that care about us. It sounds like your mom has a lot of her own issues to deal with. I wish you the best of luck to get better.

[Lynneledgewood]

I am so sorry your mom said those things to you. It is completely unacceptable.

i'm so sorry that all of this has happened to you. what your mother has said to you is something no one should ever say to anyone, especially not when you've just gotten out of surgery.

whatever her problem is, it is because of her own insecurities, not because of you.

i hope that you recover quickly. i know that what she has said has hurt you very deeply, but try to focus on getting better. she may be your mother, but the way she is acting, she's just being ridiculous.

[maggy.ng]

You deserve more. Nothing I can say but
'Be Strong'

[Big Mama]

Hey, I've been following your story a little in chat, your mom was wrong to bring her issues into the hospital room w/ you.

It sounds like to me that your mom is under a great deal of stress. She doesn't have you at home, she most likely has a large amount of hospital bills to be responsible for. Could she possibly be putting up a wall and trying to protect herself from the fact that your are in serious condition and she could have lost you and then she would really be alone. Sometimes we react poorly to stress and we do the best we can to cope w/ the things placed in fount of us.

I am not defending your mom, just trying to look at both sides. Does your mom have a trusted therapist. It sounds like one might be needed or be helpful for her.

Still that doesn't make it right to hurt the ones we love. You have incredible strength. You look crap in the face and kick butt. Good for you.

[shezbut]

ACC_gal,

I am so sorry to hear the hurtful things that your mom told you. In my opinion, those types of remarks are inexcusable. She may be in a lot of pain and worry about you ~ but she is way wrong in her expression of emotions! She really ought to be in therapy, a place where she can safely explore these confusing thoughts and feelings she is struggling with.

I would advise you recognize that incidents like these are NOT your fault! You are an incredibly strong young woman. You're smart and caring towards so many other people in this world. You deserve tons of love and support.

You're in my thoughts ~ very gentle hugs to you.