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#1
Jul 21, 2006, 06:57 PM
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Well, I can dish it out sometimes but I can't take it. Today, I was told by my best friend in a recovery group that he didn't want to go to the museum and had to go to talk to his councelor for an appointment. Last evening he wanted me to be serious and tell him if I love him or just like him. I laughed and said "Of course I like you, my friend." He was hurt, maybe, I just am not wanting to get emotionally involved with love wording. The trouble is that a few weeks ago when I was driving him home from support group,"Goodnite, I Love YOu" Slipped out of my mouth. So I dished it out, didn't I? I should right away do something. I needed to tell him something. I kept telling him, I wanted to just be a friend, as I did last night, yet, My body english says other things and my tone ALSO tell other things. So...............OH MY .....a mess is here, my emotional backyard needs work. Plus I have decided, to be gay. I have been unkind to J. my new friend, and rude as well. I am glad that none of you had a tape recording of some of my words with him, because, I didn't say things well, nor politely, nor kindly and frankly used my being a lesiban as an excuse for my fear of his showing me any form of affection, especially the physical kind, such as touching me or something like that. Yes, I feel ashamed of myself. I want to be a lesbian though but, maybe I have to clean up my social behavior. I don't think a woman of my sometimes good social talent did too good.
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"How lovely is the hand of God that soothes the rough road man has trod" (from-Beside Still Waters-A Book by Raymond B. Walker) |
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#2
Jul 21, 2006, 07:28 PM
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((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ (((((((( HUGS ))))))))
Are YOU 100% sure that YOU are in no way what so ever...... BI? - could you possibly be having feelings for him and females? LoVe, Rhapsody - 
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#3
Jul 22, 2006, 01:01 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said: ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ (((((((( HUGS )))))))) Are YOU 100% sure that YOU are in no way what so ever...... BI? - could you possibly be having feelings for him and females? Well, Rhapsody, I guess I am BI. LoVe, Rhapsody - </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
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"How lovely is the hand of God that soothes the rough road man has trod" (from-Beside Still Waters-A Book by Raymond B. Walker) |
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#4
Jul 22, 2006, 10:18 AM
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razeljenny, aren't our feelings just the wormyiest, wiggliest, most uncontrolable little lightening strikes ever????
we all want to connect and feel in the love flow with others... feelings are so amorphous and dependant on so many other factors... space, time and place being only the tip of the iceburg. The double messege thing is a booger to deal with. . . I like you, I am attracted, I'm not attracted, I ....... sounds kinda ungrounded. Are you taking time with yourself to be quiet and breath and clear your thoughts? Until you're clear with yourself and get your boundaries up and running, how could you be consistant and clear with others? Can't. Gotcher work cut out for yerself ain'tcha? Welcome to the club. Hang in there. It gets better.
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#5
Jul 22, 2006, 03:27 PM
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Last night after the support group. I spoke to ALL of my male friends. I was equal Pluarl with each one of my FAVORITE MEN. Basically they all need to by my favorite because I intend to be lesbian and I can be social great. Isn't it tricky ? It is tricky. It is worth it. I know
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"How lovely is the hand of God that soothes the rough road man has trod" (from-Beside Still Waters-A Book by Raymond B. Walker) |
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#6
Jul 22, 2006, 06:06 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
hillbunnyb said: razeljenny, aren't our feelings just the wormyiest, wiggliest, most uncontrolable little lightening strikes ever???? we all want to connect and feel in the love flow with others... feelings are so amorphous and dependant on so many other factors... space, time and place being only the tip of the iceburg. The double messege thing is a booger to deal with. . . I like you, I am attracted, I'm not attracted, I ....... sounds kinda ungrounded. Are you taking time with yourself to be quiet and breath and clear your thoughts? Until you're clear with yourself and get your boundaries up and running, how could you be consistant and clear with others? Can't. Gotcher work cut out for yerself ain'tcha? Welcome to the club. Hang in there. It gets better. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I can. I can sit with myself. It gets better. I can. I can I can I can I can I am able to be strong, not only to be strong but beautiful, great, couragous, fearless, inquisitive, inventive, a creater, a designer, the sun comming up and the sun going down, I have the energy to complete anything i start and to start anything i want, to end anything anytime and to design bright bold stuff and to change stuff to add light, to add dark, to add gray and to breathe and as long as i breath i am able to do it. even beyound that i can i can i can i can be i am me and that's good today ok
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"How lovely is the hand of God that soothes the rough road man has trod" (from-Beside Still Waters-A Book by Raymond B. Walker) |
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#7
Jul 22, 2006, 06:12 PM
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A little excentric? Ha! Good Bi-polor, no harm done
I'm OK (Poetic Plus excentric-'weirdly weird too, but ok)
__________________
"How lovely is the hand of God that soothes the rough road man has trod" (from-Beside Still Waters-A Book by Raymond B. Walker) |
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