["Tilly may"]

Im very sensitive about being touched. My husband needs to touch me all of the time. I feel like that cat on pepe le piew

[pegasus]

Made me smile, sorry. Can you ask your H not to touch you quite so much?

["Tilly may"]

I try to but he keeps groping me. We have been married 22 years, this is a new behaviour for him , started like 6 months ago. I dont get it.

[pegasus]

Ok, can you ask Pepe le Piew what has brought on these new amorous feelings towards you?

[Leed]

Hi Tilly May ~ My ex used to do that to me too. I couldn't get just a hug. I had to get groped all the time -- and if I said something about it, it made him MAD.

All I wanted was just a hug, not to be groped/fondled all the time. He'd do that when I was cooking/cleaning/you name it! It drove me nuts! I didn't see that as "affection." Especially since the rest of the time, he was emotionally abusive.

I just told him I didn't want to be groped, I'd rather have hugs. Whatever he did with that information was his business. (he got mad and didn't touch me after that) LOL

[avlady]

you people are lucky in my eyes as my ex used to poke me all the time, i was hoping he would hug me all those times instead of a poke in the side or back.how lucky you are-but i bet it would even bother me too after awhile especially after so many years!!!!!!

[sesame]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi Tilly May ~ My ex used to do that to me too. I couldn't get just a hug. I had to get groped all the time -- and if I said something about it, it made him MAD.

All I wanted was just a hug, not to be groped/fondled all the time. He'd do that when I was cooking/cleaning/you name it! It drove me nuts! I didn't see that as "affection." Especially since the rest of the time, he was emotionally abusive.

I just told him I didn't want to be groped, I'd rather have hugs. Whatever he did with that information was his business. (he got mad and didn't touch me after that) LOL

I was in the same situation. I told him about it. I told him that I wanted him to touch me without groping me. Touch my legs, touch my arms, be able to give me a backrub without his hands moving down or around to my breasts. He couldn't do it. After a while I habitually started to block his hands whenever he went to touch me because I knew what he was going to do. Then he too would get mad.

It was never touching in a way that was geared to turn me on. Not caressing, just awkward seemingly desperate groping.

My advice might get you into a few fights, Tilly, but here goes. When he does it, tell him about it, and tell him that you don't like it. Perhaps you could take his hands and tell and show him how you want him to touch you? In my case, it didn't help, and he'd go right back to it, at which point I'd go back to pushing him away. It's a tough position to be in.

["Tilly may"]

I think I will try to tell him how I want to be touched and when. I have to hide when i get dressed, if he sees me nude, its a big grope session,, ugh. thanks for all the advice
that cat

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by "Tilly may"

I have to hide when i get dressed, if he sees me nude, its a big grope session,, ugh.

Wow. I thought I was the only one in this situation. Mine thinks that just because I get naked, I must want sex, so he starts ogling and groping. Sometimes I just want to take a shower, or step out of the shower. Makes me feel like an object, not a person.

Platonic hugs to you

["Tilly may"]

I hear ya

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by "Tilly may"

I hear ya

I don't. I hate hugs that are just friendly, terms of endearment, honey, sugar, all that stuff. Hate with passion.

I had a gf at work at some point. She was married to a middle manager from Apple, named Eric. Eric was at some point her colleague at another company, before Apple.

Because they used to work together, she was able to get helpful tips from him in her field. So every evening, she would come home, go take a shower, and, in the shower, tell him about her workday. I am sure she was violating her NDA. I forgot to ask her how Eric was able to hear her talk despite the noise of running water. So that was happening every workday.

She was pretty with a good enough figure, no problem.

He would not have sex with her ever. During courtship, they were like rabbits, but not when married.

Eric saw her naked every night and all that he could come up with in reaction to her nudity was advice on coding (programming) and advice on handling the workplace. Her nudity never aroused him.

But he did call her sugar in my presence and was ever so nice and supportive that I found it syrupy.

In my book,a man who initiates groping when his wife has just taken her shower is preferable to Eric by a large margin. I personally have not experienced either extreme, but if I had to choose, I would choose the groping man over Erric.

[hamster-bamster]

Speaking of cats...

If you enjoy non-sexual touching, get a cat. Cats are wonderful for that. Then you can set of a division of labor within the household: your H would be responsible solely for sexual touching and you cat(s), for non-sexual. Sometimes making your family members accountable for a narrow set of responsibilities works quite well.

Dogs also might work well for non-sexual touching, but dogs are a handful, need to be. Walked, etc.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by "Tilly may"

Im very sensitive about being touched. My husband needs to touch me all of the time. I feel like that cat on pepe le piew

I would also recommend T for you to explore your aversion to being touched. Humans are mammals. We nurse our young, so we are mammals. Mammals thrive on touch. Snakes do not need touch, but most mammals do. It is normal this way. So if you do not like being touched in general, it is abnormal, hence the T recommendation.

There is also a possibility that you do not like being touched by this particular H. Then you do not need T but simply need another H, somebody whose touch you would like.

Touch and smell are animalistic and primal and as such trump more cerebral attributes. For this reason, it is easier to live with a guy who does not share your political views than with somebody whose touch or smell you do not enjoy. The latter would soon get on your nerves.

[pegasus]

Does he smell like Pepe le Pew aswell?

["Tilly may"]

great! thank s for all of the support and replies