[mahe318]

so this girl was a very good friend from long time earlier we had a fight and she started ignoring me and deleted me from her life from phone orkut everywhere ... after some months .. as I said she was good friend .. I searched her and tried to contact .. and she started talking again .. she gave me her number .. and we would chat for hours .. but she dint add me to her facebook .. I asked her this thing many times .. cause she would add anyone else except me to her friendlist .. and I had shared a lot of my life with her so I expected her to add me too .. but she dint .. I continued asking her but she refused to answer and she but we are talking nah ..so it dint matter .. I got angry and said frustrated .. cause she never had the proper answer which would satisfy me .. one day she said You piss me off .. I said U piss me off with your this behavior .. She was going through some bad days .. so inspite of this small fight I asked her if everything is fine with her .. but she started ignoring .. I asked her about her healith but she kept on ignoring .. and I really got angry this time .. and I blasted her with the words .. may be she got hurt by this .. n she kept ignoring .. I was totally confused .. she felt it was insult .. I waited for some time .. and Msged her if I have done anything which made her hurt then please forgive me .. I apologize to you .. but she never replied .. I was out of her g talk .. and she continued ignoring .. so I stopped and tried to move on .. but I was hurt too .. and now after 8 months she came back .. and said she just wanted to know whats happening on my side and how I am .. She said she liked me so she used to talk to me .. but I pissed her off .. so she started ignoring me .. now she wants to enjoy with me .. wants to be friend .. But I dont know how to deal with this .. she said I am kind of immature and she doesnt like it .. I want to know if anywhere I am wrong .. then I ll correct myself .. but if she doesnt add me to her account inspite of sharing all my close things .. wont I be hurt ?

This was our recent conversation >>
she >

i like u
so i talk to u
bt then u drive me crazzyy like ****ttt
so m like ****KKKKK
bt then i hv persnly olws like u.. so 1 year or watever i just whenever u strike in mind i ask watrs up sorts
bt then agn i drive me crazzyyyy
so dats y add delete add delete goes on

Me>
u posted in insanity something old Mahesh glory days

she >
i dnt remeber abt dat .. bt the way u insulted me u r god this that blah wat u think i cud take it? bt i din say anything , bt yeah i backed out y? just coz i like u ..bt yeah cant tolerate ur immaturity

she >
anyway m nt here to talk abt these crap
just wanted to upodate hw going? dats it

she > out of all thou i wud still call u "grow up" thou. bt yes i kinda in a weird way like u and..ah anyway

[mahe318]

out of all thou i wud still call u "grow up" thou. bt yes i kinda in a weird way like u and..ah anyway

[hamster-bamster]

I do not read text speak so I cannot comment on your exchanges, but can you just communicate with her in the mode that she finds satisfactory? If she removed you from G Talk and did not add you to FB, but still communicates with you via text or orkut or email, just be happy with that and do not ask her to add you to all other communication media. That you shared a lot of your life with her does not mean that she should reciprocate, right?

[LovelaceF]

Well, she says that you are immature and that you made her very angry and insulted her. She cannot tolerate your behaviour for long.

Did you, perhaps, harass her about adding you to facebook too many times, or try to force her to add you by arguing with her and telling her unkind things?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by mahe318

I asked her this thing many times

That was impolite. You should have asked two times max.

[maggy.ng]

She is an immature person. Her feelings are on and off like weather. But I still think she actually likes you. Her actions resulted in her immature and mixed feelings.

There is nothing wrong when you asked her so many times. But you shared your life, which is improper though she is a good friend. Be careful. Just only very close and reliable friends, we should confide our lives to them.

I think she doesn't respect you. She treated you like a clown. You shouldn't chase her anymore. She texted you again, you can hold a breach of propriety. That's all. I don't think you can build a good relationship with this girl.

P/S: I couldn't interpret some texts.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by maggy.ng

There is nothing wrong when you asked her so many times.

As in, "there is nothing wrong in being an annoying pest"?

[mahe318]

SO what I am supposed to do now ? to continue talk with her as long as she is talking to me .. ?

[mahe318]

No the thing is I asked her when she is adding everyone else ...why she is not adding me .. I felt it was made intentionally .. cause everyone else whose talking to her is on her list .. except me ..when I knew her from last 4-5 yrs .. All I thought I was a good friend so I wanted to share things but I dont know whats in her mind and why she was refusing to add ? so I asked her for some proper reason .. n she had no answer .. she said just like that .. we are still talking no ..
I said go to hell ..
she said > LEARN TO TALK MAHESH ..just bcoz I dont answer u back with ur go to hell ' n stuff like dat ...DSNT mean u just hopp outa limit ...

SERIOUSEY **** OFF MAHN U JUST PISS NE OFF

me: u piss me off ...

n then she kind of started ignoring .. I thought it was a minor fight ..

she was having some trouble with her health .. so after few days I called her to know if she is doing good or not .. that time I cared a lot for her .. but she dint replied .. I asked her on fb ..again n again .. but she kept on ignoring ..

N then I kind of insulted her .. thats all happened

[mahe318]

she was not saying anything .. next day I apologized her if whatever I said Offended her or hurt her .. but no reply .. then I never tried to approach her .. cause I knw she wont talk .. cause we had such fight long time back .. I was begging her to talk .. and I was all devastated .. when she refused .. I thought she wont talk again ..

but

after 8 months I received a msg .. asking how I was ?

me >
how come ?


she >
just like that
me >
suddenly ? N that too me

she>
bombared me with more questions till i stop again then

me>
after 8 months confusing

she>
m pregnant with ur baby

(I suppose that was a joke .. she talk like this sometimes )
me>
u **** ur guy thinking of me

she>
may be.

me>
...and don't u want to make this public in front of ur friends ....so why here suddenly

she>
suddenly thot of u n askd fr ur well being "dats all wat happed" , i never knew u havnt grew up to stop making issues lol anyway, sorry shudnt hav done.

[Yoda]

I am having difficulty understanding what you wrote. Is English not your primary language?

[hamster-bamster]

The best approach is to pretend that FB did not exist. It will simplify your life enormously.

For the most part of its history, humanity managed to survive without FB. You can, too.

[lovingstrangers]

Hi... well I think you both are a little immature, and that's fine.. But when you know you are getting hurt then its time to think about yourself, and there's nothing selfish in that (in my opinion).
What I think is that this girl will always be this way, I mean fluctuating. Its okay to be friends but I don't see any future. And I am saying this because I am very much like this girl, (and not proud of it).
I hope now you know what to do..
Take care..

[mahe318]

One major thing .. she calls me KID most of the time .. N it irritates me a lot ..

I dont get what to do with this girl ..

Sometimes she talks till 1 or 2 am in the morning ..

we have chatted earlier at 3-4 am too ..

Is she really someone who wouuld talk to anyone at whatever time or the day /night ?

[LovelaceF]

I don't know mahe. She could be one of those people who constantly push people away and try to pull them back. A person who has a fear of abandonment, who doesn't want to get too close because she fears loss.

[mahe318]

Originally Posted by LovelaceF

I don't know mahe. She could be one of those people who constantly push people away and try to pull them back. A person who has a fear of abandonment, who doesn't want to get too close because she fears loss.

Yeah but the she should maintain the distance no .. she should know the boundaries between a guy friend and her Boyfriend ..

But still the most irritating thing is she calls me KID most of the time .. N do feel like hitting her .. but I control it .. I would like to answer that one day though .. cause I have seen life too .. but that piss me off ..

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by mahe318

Yeah but the she should maintain the distance no .. she should know the boundaries between a guy friend and her Boyfriend ..

But still the most irritating thing is she calls me KID most of the time .. N do feel like hitting her .. but I control it .. I would like to answer that one day though .. cause I have seen life too .. but that piss me off ..

Hitting her would be a gross overreaction to her calling you KID. Just tell her to not call you KID. Use your words. Then see what happens.

She can text you at any time of the day or night - it is her business. You should be asleep at "Sometimes she talks till 1 or 2 am in the morning ..

we have chatted earlier at 3-4 am too .. "

You should be asleep at 1,2,3,and 4 am. If you are here on a mental health support site, then you should really try very hard to be asleep at those hours because your sleep schedule is a core element of good mental health.

In practical terms, it means that you should not respond to texts/emails/chats etc. until the next day.

Doing so is way simpler than complaining that "Yeah but the she should maintain the distance no .. she should know the boundaries between a guy friend and her Boyfriend .. "

In general, if you can use technology rather than psychology to solve a practical problem, you should go ahead and do that, without any hesitation or delay.