advice about how to deal with my aunt

i'll try to make this as short as possible without leaving out key facets of the story. my grandmother died 15 years ago and before she died, there was this necklace that she had and i loved it....she died when i was 12. she told me that i should have the necklace when she died. well, my very controlling (and with what is perhaps narcissistic personality disorder) aunt hoarded all of my grandmother's stuff and my dad did nothing to stop her, because that's the way everyone treats her.
so early this year, my T at the time helped me gain enough strength to ask my aunt for the necklace. this was in Feb. now after months of waiting and with her trying to get duplicates made of the thing....over and over until she was satisfied, she finally gave me "the" necklace last week. she was in my area on vacation. she doesn't live very close by.
well i was suspicious of it as soon as she handed it to me. she just gave me the box and ran off without saying a word. i took that to mean she was guilty of something. i looked at the necklace and it just wasn't right. it has sharp edges and recent polish marks on it. it has engraving on the back....fresh engraving, marking the year 1966..... but i do not believe withone cell of my body that that's when it was created.
what do i do? i didn't know what to say then. i don't want to enrage her or offend her without concrete proof. i have a friend who is a jeweler and i will show it to her.
my coworkers advised me to write her and say "i think you might have given me your copy of the necklace instead of the original one by accident. can i please have the original one?"
if she did it on purpose, i've vowed never to speak to her again. she's done a lot of other things too that i don't need to get into.
does anyone have any idea of what i can do or say? i just hate it when things are not honest and it just breaks my heart.

she breaks my heart.

my grandmother is probably spinning in her grave. her heart is broken too.

Hi Rubylizard,

I am sorry to hear about your situation with your aunt. I think it's a good idea to confront her, after you have it checked out by your jeweler friend. I think it's possible to communicate with her in a way that will not enrage or offend her, and if she does get enraged or offended and you do have proof the necklace is faulty, then it's her problem to deal with.( I would be very upset if I were you, and offending her would be the least of my worries at that point, but that's just me.)

I was in a similiar situation a long time ago when my grandmother died. She had told me that I would inherit her jewelery collection (alot of it was just costume jewelery, but it was a part of her and to me that is more valuable than anything). I have fond memories of her letting me play in her jewelery box and wear her things, especially a long glittering crystal necklace that I was enchanted with. My evil (and I do mean Evil) cousin convinced my grandmother to move in with her at one point (long story) and I never saw the jewelery, or the other collectibles that she was going to give me (some of which were mine that I had given her) plus a painting that I had painted for my grandmother. I haven't seen or talked to my cousin since, I don't even know where she's at, but I'd rather live with the good memories of my grandmother than deal with my cousin. Sorry for rambling on, I just want you to know that I understand, and I hope things work out as far as getting your grandmother's necklace back in it's original form, the way it was intended.

Love,
Sujin

oh sujin, thank you for your reply. my grandmother did the same thing. she would let me play in her jewelry box. i took great joy in untangling the necklaces and matching up earrings and wearing things. this necklace is a little artist's pallette with paintbrushes on it. my grandmother was an artist and i grew up to go to an art college and am now a photographer. it means so much to me and i'm heartbroken over this. i've got all kinds of anxiety problems too and this is just making me sick.

Once you have your jeweler friend's information, if it does turn out to be a fake, take the advice to tell your aunt that you think she may have given you one of the copies. If she still doesn't turn over the necklace, you might consider suing her. You'd need some kind of proof that it was meant for you, or for her to agree that, yes, your grandmom meant it for you. I'm sure you don't want to go through that, but it may be the only way to get it.