[iliketherain]

I am not sure if anyone will remember my forum name from before, because I don't post very much, but if you do, you will also remember how horrible I spoke of my relationship.

And my boyfriend of 6 years finally broke up with me today, and told me he just cheated on me again last week, and he has been. The only reason he even told me, is so he could date this other person.

I am very confused.
I keep feeling freaking horrible, and then suddenly very numb. I keep switching between the two.

I don't really have a lot of experience with break-ups, because this is my second serious relationship, and I've dated him for basically my entire adult life (since I was 18).

I am so alone and I feel like I have no personality without him.

The only feelings left once the numbness subsides are fear, anger, sadness, betrayal and shock.

Thanks for any help you can provide. I feel so alone right now.

Also, he told me he wanted to stay friends with me and I could call him if I needed someone to talk to, but I have tried tonight, and he hasn't answered or returned my attempts once.

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry this relationship didn't work out, but it sounds like it wasn't meant to be. And I know he meant it, but I don't think the "now let us just be friends" will work out, if only because his new girl won't like it.

It sounds like you got too attached to him to the detriment of other relationships, so now that he is gone, you are currently without a support. So, I suggest you start looking around for a social life--even with some girl friends--such as going out to the movies, for lunch, or whatever. And, of course, keep your peepers open for a new guy.

In the meantime, although we can't take the place of people you can touch, we are here at Psych Central, with plenty of people for you to talk to and interact with.

[shezbut]

Your bf cheated on you (again), yet he still wants to be friends with you?

I hope that I don't sound mean, but it sounds to me as though he's simply trying to come across as a good guy and maybe keep his options open for dull moments in his life. Know what I'm saying? As though you ought to just sit by the wayside kindly ~ every now and then he'll grace you with his presence and maybe get lucky. F that!

He doesn't deserve you now! It's really too bad that he seems to have lost his conscience. But, not all men are like that. Men of certain ages, statures, or psyches are like that unfortunately. Sometimes, it takes a first love to wake them up. Other times, f'ing around is kind of drilled into their personality for years. Some guys never outgrow that lifestyle! There are also decent guys right around the jerks. It can be pretty tricky.

In my opinion, you're best off just being alone for a while trying to find out who YOU are and who you like. All of the other stuff will come together soon enough, trust me! But, getting to know yourself is limitless. You will always have yourself. And, that does not have to be a bad thing. This is a great experience to truly get to who you are. What do you like? What do you dislike? What turns you on? What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? ~ Some key questions to ask yourself and seriously start answering these Q's to yourself. The answers will give you a much better picture of who you are and where you want to be.

Forget the ex....I know it isn't easy. Six years hurts. I understand. But, you're in a great space to let go of the past and look to the future.

[gaia67]

I don't really have any advice save for that tired old(true!) adage: time heals all wounds.

[NWgirl2013]

Hi ~ So sorry. You think a broken heart will kill you but it doesn't. You keep living. I am a woman, I have had a broken heart. More than once sad to say.
My advice is take a break. Don't contact him. Find a friend, relative, someone who will agree to talk when you weaken & reach out to him. And then do your best not to contact him. I Know! So hard to do, but you need to heal. Take care of you right now. The old adage that you need someone to complete you is wrong! You need to be whole in yourself, then when the time is right, someone will see the whole, beautiful you & that my dear is a much more attractive package to any man. Be strong. Check out this book, How To Break An Addiction To A Person. It helped me a lot.

[iliketherain]

I will definitely look into that book, @NWgirl2013. Thank you all for your responses. I have been realizing how abusive and horrible this relationship was for me, and I started another thread in the relationships section of the forum.

So if you may have any additional advice, please don't feel free to offer. Every kind word means so much to me right now. I have only lived at home since August, and to make a long story short, this isn't my real home-town (my parent just lives here), so I don't really know anyone or have any real friends here, other than the people I work with.

I want my boyfriend back.