[stressedtoinfinity]

I'm a freshman in college, I'm a year younger than the majority of the freshman here and I've never been in a relationship, i've never even gone on a date--- by choice. Throughout my life i've been asked out 16 times, and even though I feel mean by saying no, I just don't feel like I need anyone. I like being single. I don't party, i've never smoked or done drugs, and I drank once in paris and hated it. I like being in control of myself.
My mom keeps telling me to get a boyfriend, that i'm beautiful and need experience; she's really pushing me. My older sister started dating when she was a freshman in high school and lost her virginity her senior year in high school. Maybe my mom's comparing us?
My mom tells me i'm just afraid to open up to someone. And maybe she's right. But to me, I just LIKE being alone. Maybe I don't feel the need for romance because i've never experienced it, I dunno. Does anyone else feel this way? or am i just 100% abnormal?

So have you had the gay talk yet? When I was single for 7 years in my late 20's, early 30's. (I had really had enough of dating) I had my Auntie ask me if I was gay. She just couldnt understand why I didnt have a boyfriend, so it must be because I was gay. She's from another generation where people have to be married, and her own two daughters were married with kids very young and really struggled to why I was single. I dont know why she was so interested in my love life, lol, but my brothers found it very amusing, and I got teased for ages. Nobody btw, is homophobic, not in the least, but they just thought my Auntie was ignorant and old fashioned!

Anyway, you know what? I LOVED being single. I lived alone, went out to see friends, went to gigs and stayed in when I wanted. I could concentrate on my career and be a little selfish with my time. It was only when I met my current partner that I wanted to start dating. We were friends first, and then got it together, so I already liked him as a person and a friend. It was just fantastic and felt natural.

I dont think there's anything wrong with you - as long as you are happy with yourself! And who knows, there may be someone down the line who you just cant resist, someone who makes you feel great. Just keep being you, I dont think you should go dating or partying just because of peer pressure. Your mum needs to understand that you're happy as you are for the time being, and that not everyone is a party animal. Some people are more shy, or simply dont like that scene. You only get one life, so lead it your way.

"Am I the only one who thinks it's okay to be single?"-stressedtoinfinity

Depends. How often?

-Fleeing Bellocq

[Inedible]

Generally it isn't what you choose to do that is, or is not, a problem. It is your reason for making the choice. Most choices are not obviously beneficial or harmful, and even when they are, the reasons behind the choices matter. If you are choosing to stay single because that is what you want, that sounds fine. You may want something different later. People want what they can't have, so you may be less popular if you do decide to go on the market later. If you are just trying to avoid what you imagine romance to be, then that would be a less positive choice. Finally, to answer the question - no, you are not the only one who thinks it is okay to be single. Many people who aren't currently single wish from time to time that they were single, too, and not just so that they could pick someone else to be with.

[spmtb]

I've been in relationships seems like forever. At the age of 40 I decided to be single. I love being able to do whatever I want, and not have to answer to no one. There is nothing wrong about being single, everything is right about being yourself.

[Leed]

I became a widow at 51. People were saying that was too 'young' to be a widow and I should start looking for someone. Good grief, my husband had just died!

Anyway, a year later they were still saying the same thing -- but I enjoyed being single! I loved being married to my husband, but I also loved being single. I could eat when I wanted, or NOT eat for that matter. I could go to bed when I wanted; go WHERE I wanted, do what I wanted, etc. I didn't have to take anyone else into consideration. I made the decision right then to STAY single, and I stilll am and will be. I'm 63 and loving it.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single if that is TRULY what you want. As long as you're not afraid of relationships, or men, or sex, etc., then stay single. To me, it's very freeing.

Originally Posted by stressedtoinfinity

I'm a freshman in college, I'm a year younger than the majority of the freshman here and I've never been in a relationship, i've never even gone on a date--- by choice. Throughout my life i've been asked out 16 times, and even though I feel mean by saying no, I just don't feel like I need anyone. I like being single. I don't party, i've never smoked or done drugs, and I drank once in paris and hated it. I like being in control of myself.
My mom keeps telling me to get a boyfriend, that i'm beautiful and need experience; she's really pushing me. My older sister started dating when she was a freshman in high school and lost her virginity her senior year in high school. Maybe my mom's comparing us?
My mom tells me i'm just afraid to open up to someone. And maybe she's right. But to me, I just LIKE being alone. Maybe I don't feel the need for romance because i've never experienced it, I dunno. Does anyone else feel this way? or am i just 100% abnormal?

I don't think you're even remotely abnormal. Relationships should be something that people take a lot more seriously than they do and if they decide they don't want to be alone, take more time to begin them. It seems as though the world does make one think that it's almost a given that people will want to have a gf/bf, get married, have children and so on.. but really it's not true. I have an uncle that is over 60 now and he was happily single into his 50s when he did decide he wanted to get married. I never thought he was abnormal at all. I don't think you are either.

I'm separated from my wife, getting divorced (thankfully) and a fulltime single dad. I'm in a place right now where I'm not sure what I want, whether it's just be alone for awhile or not. At this point, I see a lot of positives toward being single by choice, that is not trying to find someone but choosing to continue to be alone. Fact is with a new relationship comes a lot of complexity to my life and I'm just not sure I want all that just yet. I'm sure someday but right now I don't know.

I can understand you enjoying your singlehood. Be content that if it's what brings you joy, then it doesn't matter if you're part of the majority or minority.

[Miswimmy1]

i personally think let life go the way it will. i dont think you can really make relationships happen, and that said, i dont think that you can avoid them either. i think you will know who is right, when the right time is, etc. i would feel no need to get in a relationship. college is an exciting time... enjoy it. you have a lifetime to figure out who you want to spend the rest of ur life with. for now, do what *you* want.

[AnxiousKitty]

My best friend of 23 is quite single, and she's def not the type to just date anyone...I mean, more than average. LOL.

There is nothing wrong with it.

I have always wanted a partner, however, I told myself (a bit depressed, but yet: "If I dont have a partner, I can still pursue my dreams, and to be honest, they will be easier if I need to go somewhere, or I want to volunteer abroad--I won't worry about leaving someone behind, dragging him with, or, having to do a long-distance thing.

I was never a fan of valentine's day, and I have been single most my life myself, so no nothing wrong.

The worst thing someone can tell you, is "You would be happier if you had a boyfriend".

While in some ways I am (I got someone to do stuff with, and be close to), the truth is, just cause you got a partner doesn't mean your happy----I still have all my emotional and mental issues to deal with, and now it makes it more priority that I work on them, for the sake of the relationship...while when single, you can do things at your own pace.

I'm in your category. I socialize, have many friends, agony aunt to most... still I never dated till now... I'm in my late 20s and still not ready to even try

[avlady]

I think being single would be great. I was single till 28 then i had my son, left his dad as he was an aloholic, and got married at 33. sometimes i wish i was single, as i am mentally disabled, but even in my 20s I wanted never to get married. I wasn't even married when i had my only son, -oops.I miss not being able to do what and when I want because of the responsibilities that come with a relationship. My marriage is ok but sometimes I cant always do as i wish I could, because i''m mentaly disabled and can't do alot of things that a normal wife can do.Like everyday things. I try my best, my husband loves me and I love him, and we seem to compliment each other. You may meet someone out of the blue someday and know they're the one for you.Yes, I do believe in love at first sight in certain situations too.