[texascoco]

I'm wondering if anyone else feels like this: When there is a guy I am attracted to who maybe I am having sex with, and who I care about, I typically will end up feeling fond for and caring about guys that are his best friend, not in an attraction kind of way, just in a human kind of way. If I am with the guy I am attracted to and his best friend, I will usually position myself in a way that I am in between the two of them if we're walking together or if we're sitting together, and I will touch the guy I'm attracted to, if we are at that level, but I will also touch the other guy. I think of it as "sharing myself" because physical contact is very important to me and so I don't want the friend to be left out. So, for example, when I hung out with Bryan (who I was attracted to) and Darrell (his best friend), I would walk between them and maybe brush up against Darrell, in addition to Bryan. And when we sat on the stoop together I sat in the middle and positioned my elbows and knees in a way (subtle and not creepy, just kind of natural), that I would be slightly touching both of them. When Mike (who I was attracted to) and Nills (his stepbrother who is like his best friend) and I all hung out together, we made a fort and watched a movie, and I lay between the two of them, and let it happen that I was touching both Mike and Nills (maybe shoulder lightly against shoulder, or arm against arm, or leg against leg). I am hyper aware of physical contact, for a few different reasons I guess. Was just wondering if anyone else has felt like this. Haven't really heard of anyone feeling like this before.

Also, my favorite social situations is when I'm alone with a guy, or with he and his best friend, or with a group of all guys. I generally enjoy being with guys more than I enjoy being with girls. I told this to my therapist once and she cut me off and said it's okay and people just have different preferences, but I feel like there is something more to it - that there's something behind it, a reason, I don't know. Wondering if anyone has felt this way, also.

[hamster-bamster]

I have never read or heard of anything like that - in the way you describe, with precision, the way you position yourself touching two guys at once.

That said, reading the OP makes one think of a sexual encounter with two males and one woman - not the kind of that people arrange online with random strangers or anything like that, but with two men who know each other very well and a woman whom both of they are fond of - maybe one more than the other. Maybe one crazily in love with and the other just fond of - that kind of situation. I have not had an actual experience with it but I can see myself having this kind of experience under appropriate circumstances. Has it ever occurred to you that you might be at least fantasizing along these lines?

[texascoco]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I have never read or heard of anything like that - in the way you describe, with precision, the way you position yourself touching two guys at once.

That said, reading the OP makes one think of a sexual encounter with two males and one woman - not the kind of that people arrange online with random strangers or anything like that, but with two men who know each other very well and a woman whom both of they are fond of - maybe one more than the other. Maybe one crazily in love with and the other just fond of - that kind of situation. I have not had an actual experience with it but I can see myself having this kind of experience under appropriate circumstances. Has it ever occurred to you that you might be at least fantasizing along these lines?

Thanks for responding I am really not interested in having sex with two guys at once. I have imagined it to test my feelings about it and it kind of makes me feel sick and horrified and scared. When I touch the best friend of the guy, I don't get any kind of sexually-related satisfaction out of it. But I felt like what I posted about seems weird and it reminded me of what a threesome mentality might be like, and that kind of made me nervous, and confuses me, because I really don't want to have a threesome. I don't really understand it! Thanks for posting.

[Evil Schnoodle]

Originally Posted by texascoco

Thanks for responding I am really not interested in having sex with two guys at once. I have imagined it to test my feelings about it and it kind of makes me feel sick and horrified and scared. When I touch the best friend of the guy, I don't get any kind of sexually-related satisfaction out of it. But I felt like what I posted about seems weird and it reminded me of what a threesome mentality might be like, and that kind of made' me nervous, and confuses me, because I really don't want to have a threesome. I don't really understand it! Thanks for posting.

You don't get satisfaction from it....but the other guy does. I was THAT other guy, the friend, so many times. You are with our buddy..but even that shoulder closeness feels amazing. Several years ago, my friend was dating an amazing woman. We has so much more in common than they did. She was so attentive and conversational, I even thought about leaving my girlfriend if she expressed interest. Well...they broke up. I asked her to lunch and she mocked me on Facebook. I never felt so rejected. Nevermind I was stepping all over my friend's feelings. Just please be careful. That 'friend's can often fall in love with you, even though you didn't intend that.

[texascoco]

Originally Posted by Evil Schnoodle

You don't get satisfaction from it....but the other guy does. I was THAT other guy, the friend, so many times. You are with our buddy..but even that shoulder closeness feels amazing. Several years ago, my friend was dating an amazing woman. We has so much more in common than they did. She was so attentive and conversational, I even thought about leaving my girlfriend if she expressed interest. Well...they broke up. I asked her to lunch and she mocked me on Facebook. I never felt so rejected. Nevermind I was stepping all over my friend's feelings. Just please be careful. That 'friend's can often fall in love with you, even though you didn't intend that.

Thank you for your response. I'm sorry about that girl

You make an interesting point. One night when Bryan (who I was into) and Darrell (his best friend) hung out together and I was sitting touching both of them on the porch, Darrell was very aware that Bryan and I were having sex and that Bryan and I were interested in each other that way, it was pretty obvious plus Bryan told him about our earlier sexual encounter. But the next night when Darrell was drunk Darrell texted me "Every time I looked in your eyes I wanted to kiss you" and he wanted to hang out with just me and no Bryan, and I didn't want that, and now Bryan hates me for unrelated reasons and Darrell hates me for not wanting to be alone with him and for being straightforward with him. I feel lonely without physical contact from humans (platonic or not), it's a big complicated issue for me, and so I guess maybe that's part of my motive - because I don't want the other guy to feel left out or lonely, either. I feel like I'm kind of a pretty warm person and so physical contact is one way that it manifests itself. I don't mean anyone any harm but you brought up a good point I should be aware of, that I might hurt someone without meaning to, so thank you.

That sounds really sucky about that girl and you

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by texascoco

Thanks for responding I am really not interested in having sex with two guys at once. I have imagined it to test my feelings about it and it kind of makes me feel sick and horrified and scared. When I touch the best friend of the guy, I don't get any kind of sexually-related satisfaction out of it. But I felt like what I posted about seems weird and it reminded me of what a threesome mentality might be like, and that kind of made me nervous, and confuses me, because I really don't want to have a threesome. I don't really understand it! Thanks for posting.

I do not know what a threesome mentality might be like and whether such a thing exists.