[lovedilemma]

I recently recovered from alcoholism after a year of struggling with the addiction. I moved out of the city to be closer to my family needing the support structure and someone to take care of my daughter while I recovered cold turkey. The mother of my child is a ragging alcoholic in her own right, while I was recovering she continued to drink and myself and daughter got the full force of what came with that anxiety, yelling, unstable household. As I recovered I grew further apart from the mother of my child not having anything in common anymore I became codependent in her needs thinking she was going to come around and get better. During this time I met this amazing woman love of my life the person I have been waiting for literally love at first sight. I feel horrible because I lied to her about having the mother of my child living with me even though she asked me specifically if she was living with me.

I felt like I was taking care of two children due to the mother of my child being an alcoholic and in fact needed her around to help me recover because she was taking care of my child the best she could. Currently I have been continuing lying about my living situation living as a single father. The mother of my child and I dont have a relationship and in fact she has a boyfriend now herself. I really want to tell my girlfriend the truth since she has been hearing it from outside parties that dont understand my dynamics with the mother of my child. I dont know how to approach it or if I should tell her. Right now after meeting my girlfriends family she decided to take a three day break because she felt she was getting a mental block. I dont understand but she specifically stated it is not a relationship break just an everyone else break. I feel slightly separated from her emotionally. I ask her whats wrong and she says there are a lot of things I'm not telling you. I feel she herself has something to hide or is just playing the silent treatment to get it out of me first. I feel like taking the lead and just giving her everything even though I dont feel the relevance since the only thing the mother of my child is serving is as a nanny per say. I love my girlfriend so much she stopped texting all together saying 3 says it will take. Honestly I feel like I'm doing this to myself over thinking it to much. For all I know she didn't pay her cell phone bill, or she is seeing someone else needed the space to do that, but again literally the day after I meet her entire family and spent the whole day after with her. Not a relationship break just an everyone else break off the grid why because of a mental block.

[Leed]

Hi ~ I wish I knew what to tell you. Since you didn't say if you were in AA or not, you should know that being honest is one of the most important things in recovering from alcoholism. Once you tell a lie, you have to keep telliing lies to cover up the first one. It's a vicious circle. And it always ends badly.
If you ever want anyone to trust you, you must be HONEST.

Also, do you think it's in the best interests of your CHILD to leave her in the car of your wife who is a "raging alcoholic?" It would seem to me that the child is in DANGER. If you're not home, you should make other arrangements for the child, and NOT leave her in the care of her mother!!!

As for your girlfriend -- she may have heard that you still have a wife, and wants to think things over. Perhaps she doesn't trust you now. I know that if I were her, it would effect me badly, and I would wonder about the relationship. I certainly would not want to be running around with a married man!

You'll find out soon what the problem is. But you are going to have to be honest with her. Whatever the outcome is, I wish you luck. God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee PS -- if the outcome is bad, DON'T DRINK!!!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by lovedilemma

Currently I have been continuing lying about my living situation living as a single father. The mother of my child and I dont have a relationship and in fact she has a boyfriend now herself. I really want to tell my girlfriend the truth since she has been hearing it from outside parties that dont understand my dynamics with the mother of my child. I dont know how to approach it or if I should tell her.

You should tell her because it would be practically impossible for you to maintain the lie. So just tell her. Much easier to just tell her (you can even offer to introduce her to the bf of the mother of your children, if it is practical).

It would work against you if she learns about your living situation from third parties.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by lovedilemma

During this time I met this amazing woman love of my life the person I have been waiting for literally love at first sight. I feel horrible because I lied to her about having the mother of my child living with me even though she asked me specifically if she was living with me.

Currently I have been continuing lying about my living situation living as a single father.

Right now after meeting my girlfriends family she decided to take a three day break because she felt she was getting a mental block. I dont understand but she specifically stated it is not a relationship break just an everyone else break. I feel slightly separated from her emotionally. I ask her whats wrong and she says there are a lot of things I'm not telling you.

I feel she herself has something to hide or is just playing the silent treatment to get it out of me first.

Honestly I feel like I'm doing this to myself over thinking it to much. For all I know she didn't pay her cell phone bill, or she is seeing someone else needed the space to do that, but again literally the day after I meet her entire family and spent the whole day after with her. Not a relationship break just an everyone else break off the grid why because of a mental block.

If your girlfriend, says, three days, to deal with herself, then it could be very literal on her part. She may not have any ulterior motives. Could be straight forward.

I feel you are worrying about her having motives, due to the shame feeling of having lied to her???