*crying hard*

i dont think any of you know what i have been planning on doing for quite some time now. just recently, about 4 weeks ago, i decided that i wanted to find out about my biological parents. i have been adopted since i was 8 months old, and never knew a thing about them. i asked my mom about it when i was 16 and she started crying and throwing out the accusation that i only wanted to replace them as parents. not true, but i dropped the subject. about 3 weeks ago, after doing some extensive thinking, i decided to ask them again. their response was that im not mature enough to handle the news, and that if i want to know, ask again in 2 years, and they might tell me. thing is, they signed papers when i was adopted, saying they wouldnt divulge any information to me, about my biological parents, until i was 25 years old. i think that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard of. so after not having their support once more, i decided to take things into my own hands. i am going through the judge that granted my adoption, and asking him to unseal my records and send them to me. i made some calls and found out what i have to do. i have to write the judge a letter and ask him to unseal the records, and why i want them unsealed. i also have to include $5, which is about £2.7, and also several forms of identification, as well as any information that i might have, that would help them do a search for my records. so i had my husband send all the information to a friend in the US. she is going to include the money for me, because we cant send a UK check. its been well over a week now, since he sent the package to her, and she still hasnt received it. i am so utterly upset right now, because it shouldve gotten to her by now. i feel that because it hasnt gotten to her yet, that this may be some sign that i need not know what happened to me when i was born. i have been warned that i need to be prepared for the worst, in case the reason that i was put up for adoption, isnt something thats pleasant for me. i am prepared for that. if i find out its something bad, i am ready to deal with that. i dont think anyone can really understand how important this is to me. i have wanted to know for so long now, and now that i have the chance to find out, its taking so long. im so depressed right now, and all i can think about is cutting to rid myself of the pain that im feeling. god i just want to curl up and hide or die right now. im hurting so much right now. please...someone please comfort me.
sniffles

Hey sniffles, did you send the package as recorded/special delivery (or however it is called actually) to check whether (and when) it left the UK?

I wouldn't worry yet. It is upsetting when it is something so important, but really you have to be patient. Sometimes packages take a little longer than expected. I'm also not sure whether the current problem with planes in the UK might have delayed things...

I know it is not ideal, but if worst comes to the worst, try again - maybe using a tracking service. Do take care. (((sniffles)))

I've always found that for some reason when I send a parcel to the US it takes ages, whereas they make it to the UK in under a week. I've had simple packages take three weeks to arrive in major US cities... have never quite worked out why it takes so long but it just does...

And also I imagine that with the increased alert stuff they are possibly being even more cautious than usual with mail between UK and US and it may be taking longer than normal to process.

Sniffles, what a rough time you've had. My aunt adopted their two children and she and my uncle told them when they were quite young and this was a long time ago, so I'm suprised that your parents think you should wait until you're 25 to find out. You have a right to know. Unfortunately, your parents perhaps feel insecure and fear that you will dump them for your biological mother and/or father. Perhaps if you reassure them, they might be more helpful...?
I wish you the very best in finding your biological parents. Even if you never have a relationship with them, it can help to know where you came from. I can understand your wanting to know.
(((sniffles)))

(((((((sniffles)))))))))

I'm so sorry that you have that ache inside to know your mother and father, but are prevented from doing so. Just hope a few hugs make you feel better.

im adopted too...soo i know what its like to be like that..i have found my birth mom..but she just adds a whole lot more pain to my life...soo please be careful...

jessica

Yes, i think perhaps your mom is afraid that you will love your birth mom more once you do find her. She probably is thinking of mistakes she has made as your mom that makes her feel insecure.

Maybe you could try and use this waiting period to help her know you love her and nothing will change that. That you have enough love for her and your birth mom.

one of the hardest things to do is wait... wait for something this big and life-changing! Its nearly impossible to be patient... but I think the others are right.. it is just taking extra long and you should try again if you do't hear anything.

Wishing you the best!!

thanks so much for the replies everyone. i am trying to be as patient as i can be for things to happen right now. i got an email from my friend in the US yesterday, and she has received my package and got it sent to the judge. so how it's a wait and see game. however, i was informed by the lady who handles the incoming cases for adoption records to be unsealed and she told me that i was very mis-informed by someone in their office when i called before, and said that its rare for the judge (depending on who you get), to unseal the records. so hopefully that wont be the case for me. hopefully hell be more understanding and unseal the records for me. if not, im going to have to wait possibly 6-8 months to get my records from the adoption agency instead of the judge. *sigh*
sniffles
*hugs to all who replied*