Which boy ...

Well ... I've been sort of seeing one for a while now ... first time we have both been single ... blah blah.

We aren't OFFICIALLY together.

While away for business I hooked up with my old boyfriend Andy ... OMG. He met me after work with a bottle of red wine, we ordered food in, there was a spa bath in my hotel room, and the rest is obvious.

So I get back and Nick (the one I sort of been seeing) is all like ... 'you've been different since you got back' ... etc.

Let me be clear: Nick and i are not together, but have been seeing what happens.

So umm it's been interesting ... knowing that things happened with Andy and i seems to have made Nick try harder ... He got grumpy today cos he sent me a PXT of his doggie Jack and normally I text him back with something and it was like 'I sent you a Jack pic and didn't hear a peep from you ...' !!

I'm not really sure what to do, Andy is considering moving cities (his company is also where I live). But just after talking to Nick tonight i think I've rediscovered what I felt for him.

Men!!!!

Too much twubble!!

Any advice appreciated

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
drunksunflower said:
He met me after work with a bottle of red wine, we ordered food in, there was a spa bath in my hotel room, and the rest is obvious.

OK, this is not a fair comparison. Andy "got lucky" that day, for sure.....but he had no (current) investment in you as a couple that night, so he couldn't fail to outshine Nick.
I say that wasn't a true test of a new relationship starting up....not just yet.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

You can't let a one night fling destroy a good thing. I know I was Nick in your situation and i had been with my boyfirend for ten years I found out he cheated on me twice from his mother and left him. Now he has lost our home his job and so on. I feel bad for him but he got what he deserves for being unfaithful. But if you don't love Nick let him go before you hurt him. i belive that what we put into the world comes back to us. Even though I was completly faithful. Jessica

To me, it seems that you're going on the feelings of the moment. Have you stopped to think which of the two you are more compatible with in other things than the spa? Romance fades eventually. Sex alone is NOT a good basis for a relationship. It's only the icing on the cake. Take it from someone who knows.

Thank you for your responses ...

just talking to nick last night ... wow he's awesome and makes me giggle ....

but with andy we went out for a year, were friends before that, and have hooked up many times since.

arrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

you are all making me think ... thank you!!!!!

Date them both until you KNOW which one if it is either. Pick a man never a boy.

LOVE IT PDD ...

I think I would look at it this way, if it were two guys doing this to a girl what would you say then? Would you think someone was getting played? Maybe??? Hooking up, is just that. Is Andy just looking for a FB?? and I think we all know what I mean by that. I don't mean to sound cruel, or burst any bubbles, rain on a parade or anything....but from standing back here, it sounds like Andy is looking for something casual, and is getting it. Maybe it's time to tell Nick sh&t or get off the pot??? I don't know.

G'luck with this, don't sell yourself short!!!

hugs, Lisa

Wow, rereading that, I just realized how kind of mean that sounds....not what I intended...I think I might have been way too blunt there....just be careful, you don't wanna get hurt!

Nick's pissy cos apparently I haven't been spending time with him or talking to him enough ...

Andy I do love and trust, if one of us changes cities for work then maybe we would see if the relationship worked.

Just bear in mind that I am probably using Andy JUST AS MUCH as he is using me

dsf its time to stop testing nick and make a choice, if you want a fulltime, live together, monogamous relationship then chose nick,

if you dont want that then chose andy, as they say "the choice is yours"

or, choose neither and take the time to get your head together to figure out what you want... I don't mean that in a rude way. I remember going through a similar dilemma when I first met my husband (he was the "Andy" in your situation, and I had a "Nick" who was emotionally ready to marry me). I didn't take the time to figure out why I was waffling so much. All's well that ends well (I married the "Andy", with zero regrets), but I still wish I had not played with both of them to the extent that I did. It caused needless hurt and drama, all because I didn't know what I wanted.

hmm you both make sense ... thank you

had dinner with Nick last night then a long phone call later on at night.

it's nice

And to update ... I haven't even seen him this weekend

Did stuff with MY friends last night, tonight he's DJn all night (big dance party, about 600 ppl).

sigh.

Update ...

Well I've just got back from a business trip to where the ex (Andy) lives ... and had ummm fun with him last night ... and had breakfast this morning ...

Just being around him relaxes me ... we so get each other's sense of humour and everything ... even down to spiritual stuff we both believe in ... I wouldn't be without my crystals for example ... he has just been trying out Japanese Light Therapy which is to do with energy transfer ...

*sigh* he's coming up to visit soon.

With the boy in Auckland (Nick) well we're still arguing even though he is happier now we decided he will come to doc with me about tummy stuff (I'm still probably gonna chicken out but at least it's keeping him happy).

I don't know, he makes me giggle too and can be sooo sweet but I am still sort of slightly grumpy that he thinks he can make me do stuff.

Sigh.

Men are too much twubble