I did it and I maybe I regret it

I closed my online dating accounts, im sad I only met jerks, I should be happy. I just feel bad. I go no where, I have no friends!!!!! My kids r the only ones I talk to. To be honest Im even jealous that my ex cheated and stayed with her. I think Im going to be alone my whole LIFE!!!!!!!!Im just so LONELY!!!!!

How long have you been single? Single motherhood can be a hard life. My friends who seem happy as single moms seem to have embraced the freedom of being their own boss. Answering to no one but themselves and free to make decisions for their kids that they used to have to negotiate. I don't think you are going to be single forever, but you need to make some peace with being single right now. You have closed the online dating account, and think of it as taking a much needed break from the jerks. Moms don't have time for jerks. Use this break to build some relationships with quality people. Your kids should not be the only ones you talk to. If you are turning to dating because you are lonely, then you may never find what you are looking for there. Your jealousy is normal. The loneliness needs to be addressed. Take that dating time and join some support groups for single moms, charitable or interest group. Adult co Ed sports through community centers? Church choir? Service project group? Ask a new friend to coffee. You will be amazed how many adult woman are looking for friends. Put yourself out there. Making friends also opens you up to meeting eligible single men!

I signed up, at the suggestion of my T. Previously, I'd spent time working through stuff pertaining to the issues of my marriage and as a result, learned much about people, personalities, depression, etc. I spent even more time working on myself, figuring things out and then divorced.

I deleted my accounts a little after a week. Over 500 views, a couple handfuls of potential 'suitors', but honestly, after their e-mails to me, I just knew, these places are not for me!! Never mind meeting them, an ability to write is important to me.

Wasn't going to waste my time. Some, obviously, spent time writing out these elongated profiles, but um...a couple lines to a message, are they serious?!

Let me tell you something that freaked me out on one of the famous sites. The original creator, had created a previous site that was meant to match people up, for um, not serious relationships, but um, the between the sheet kind, if you follow my drift? I researched, after feeling a little annoyed that their tech 'geniuses' decided to use a profile photo for me, that was in my photos, but wasn't the one that I had selected. It was more a body shot, you know, showing off my curves.

I've got kids, you've got kids...we don't need creeps and jerks in our lives, children's safety is paramount, is it not?!? And not having too many men in our lives, while they are young, isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing!!

My mom and dad, after divorce...geeshh...mom married about 2-3months after divorce He was the best friend, that rumor has it lured her away form dad.
Then dad, went to all these parent without partners, and dating groups, etc...the total bachelor dating a variety of women. I'd met a few. Liked them all, and as a child, dreamed he'd marry at least one of them, until he met my stepmom, who just isn't a people person, to say the least. T said, now that was his choice, yes it was his choice. She did, literally, come between mine and his relationship. And, as much as I've tried being nice to her, she just lacks that bedside manner, and it shows with how she interacts with her own children, including the child they had together, that resulted with me moving back with my mom, because there was no way stepmom was going to have 'me' in her home. ((made some off colored remark, at the age of 15 when stepsister and I were asked what we thought if they had a kid....not disclosing she was preggo))

OK....see....getting involved, isn't the end all and be all to a single mom's existence. It sucks that the Other Women are still in our ex husbands lives, but ...have you seen the other woman in my life lately?! joking aside,
I agree, setting up a network of friends is important and getting out, putting ourselves in positions of meeting people is a catchy concept. Now, to get the parents in my area, to realize I am SINGLE!! Divorce, seems like one of those concepts lost on others around here...perhaps, because I am either no complaining about being divorced, he's still around for kids events or because I am not out changing bfs like some people change clothes?! dunno....

Some keep mentioning meetup.com, as a way to hang with others with similar interests. Haven't tried it, yet. I tried joining a softball league earlier this spring, but there were issues with sitters. Or maybe a little more than that, but not really up to discussing what happened there publically, other than the mens league next to us, asked me to join theirs... that was tempting...a mens baseball league...

I have hope, the single life, isn't forever. Honestly, what does your schedule look like? Would a new man, really squeeze into it?! I'm questioning timing on my own end.

I found the dating sites to be much more useful when I decided to stop taking them seriously, and start using them to make new, single friends and just people with similar interests to do things with. I found a new chiropractor in the process. lol
I was newly single when I started using them, and I searched out people that have been single for a long time, because they tend to have a lot of other single friends, and I made a great network of single friends, male and female, in my area. To be around so many people who were also single, very positive about it, and had fulfilling lives outside of a serious relationship made me feel a lot better and a lot less lonely. Just a thought

thanks everyone, its always nice to have people who understand where your coming from

i think this is great advice, and also, there is no point in canceling the profiles - you can take a break from using the dating site and just let the responses accumulate in your inbox for your - possible - review later. Having a profile out there is not hurting you, is it?