[Elektra_]

continuation...

Originally Posted by Elektra_

thing is i actually met another guy... but guess what? all he wanted was sex and this idiot fell for it. amazing huh? i barely came out of one and this happens. he had a nickname with sex in it so i didnt want to talk to him then he changed it for me to talk to him.. then i got his number we talked over the phone for 3h and it was soooo good. been ages i didnt feel that good. he was sweet and fun. i always told him i dont have sex unless im in a relationship and he actually "confessed" something (which now is BS) that he havent been with someone for while but bc he wants to make love and not just sex... the end of phone call he said he really wanted to be with me, then to steal a kiss from me... as i was enjoying the time talking to him i told him i felt the same way.. anyway he actually made me feel he was interested with me till tonight. there was this party and he just called me and asked if i had a space for him in my bed? i noticed hes way of talking was harsh than it uses to be so i figured he was a bit intoxicated. he kept asking if what i said about kissing him was for real and i was like wth why u asking this now?? then he basically asks if u were alone at home would u like me to be with u in bed? i stopped talking and hang up.

funny how he once said "i want to know u, ur only hurt with man in general (he knew about other guy prob), u have to lower ur guard, there is someone that want u really know u" how convincing huh? yep im a moron!!!

i didnt pick up and then sent him a msg saying u went to chat to get sex. here there is no such thing even if u sayyy 50000 things to make me think otherwise. the reply: if thats what u want i respect it. big kiss.

then.. my last msg: u did great job with ur bulshit convo and getting advantage that i was in bad shape caz of other guy. ur a bastard. dont contact me ever again. i wonder to how many u said those things. have a great life.
his reply: u know, i cant find an answer for such thing... if thats what u think, dont worry i wont bother u anymore. kiss and have a great life

yep me moron. end of story

[Elektra_]

after few msgs and then calling him he came with bs saying he was drunk and he didnt mean it blablabla he didnt think he was wrong saying what he said and mentioned if i hadnt call him he wouldnt talk to me again. therefore im not even important to him. we talked again for hours and guess what he ended up in i want to kiss u, hug u, sex... i became aggravated and telling him i was afraid of him just wanting sex from the relationship. he said i think too much, im complicating things, and it does turn into sex only at night when we are more alone blablabla. then i was just sad caz i told other guy the situation and he said "hes gona be one of those guys that expect something to hapen in 1st date and put their hands where they shouldnt". he noticed i was sad and say he would call next day to talk a bit more. thing is i realized his actions are similar to the guy i had "something" with that only wanted sex.

i sent him a msg saying a guy that is genuinely interested in a girl doesnt talk about sex right away and from now on our convos would be sex free. he not even commented. next day i sent him a msg asking about it. he said he was tired, didnt feel like thinking and he saw my msg but didnt agree with it. i told him it was incredible how in beginning he used to make me feel so good and now is the opposite. he didnt reply. at night i said i was sorry for saying that but its been 2 days and no msg nor call from him.

today i had to send a msg. i CANT keep myself from doing it. i said after all there is no convo without sex to u... he didnt reply.. so i just insulted him.

i just dont get it... he spends money on the phone calling me. he doesnt want to hang up and he has to go.. its like there was something there yet he couldnt give a ****...

[hamster-bamster]

I am so impressed! You owned up to insulting him!

[~Christina]

I have to ask ... How old are you ?????

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

i sent him a msg saying a guy that is genuinely interested in a girl doesnt talk about sex right away and from now on our convos would be sex free. he not even commented.

I am sorry and I do not mean to come off as rude, but I am, simply, genuinely curious about your approach and expectations.

So you had sex with the guy and then told him that from then on your convos (conversations, I assume) would be sex free.

And... he did not comment... did not EVEN comment.

So I hear that you were genuinely disappointed in his having not EVEN commented and, also, surprised by it.

I conclude that you expected him to, AT LEAST, comment.

So that makes me really puzzled because I cannot figure out HOW you expected him to comment. Let me try some guesses:

- I fully acknowledge your statement of general direction and am wholeheartedly on board with it. Our conversations will from now on be pristine. It won't just be sex free, but I would, on my end, ONLY offer to discuss global warming and what can be done about it. However, if you offer other subjects for discussion, I will try to be a good conversationalist and a good pal. The reason I myself am limited to global warming is because I am very much afraid that I might ***unwittingly and without ill intent*** drift into sex convos, and global warming seems the only truly SAFE subject for me in that I trust myself in my ability not to drift from global warming to sex.

- I am so sorry. I really should not have sex with you, because I should have realized that by having sex with you I presented myself as somebody who is not... GENUINELY interested in you... whereas in reality I am ***GENUINELY*** interested in you so I am sorry that I made that horrible miscommunication and I pledge to NEVER have sex with you so that you can rest assured that I am DEEPLY AND GENUINELY interested in you.

- I take an issue with your plan and propose that we engage a neutral third party mediator to help us resolve our differences.

- .... something else?...

[Elektra_]

someone help i have a stalker in here lololol

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Thank you for showing that. I will bow out of this thread as well, then , for the same reason.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I have to ask ... How old are you ?????

its called borderline but guess even here people are prejudiced about mental illness...

[~Christina]

I asked your age.. Not your mental health issue(s) .... You don't have to answer what your age is. I was just curious.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

i sent him a msg saying a guy that is genuinely interested in a girl doesnt talk about sex right away and from now on our convos would be sex free.

Like Christina, I am curious about your age. I am also curious in general... because you post very amusing accounts without seeming to recognize them for how amusing they are... and that gives an impression of a girl who is 3-5 years old (kids do not realize that they are funny)... but you mention sex sex sex all the time... which makes me thing that you are at least 15... lots of open questions.

But also I want to make a practical suggestion.

You know how in business people use "canned email" to speed up certain recurrent interactions. Well maybe you do not know that it well due to young age. The idea is that when you find yourself in the same scenario with different people, it sometimes helps to have a "canned", prepared, redrafted response (which you may or may not need to personalize) to send to everybody as the situation repeats itself. This way, you do not have to reinvent the wheel.

So I see that you are running into the same situation again. And that calls for a "canned email".

Or, even better, a profile statement.

So I do not know how this chat site you are on is organized - I am not even clear whether the site is mostly for sex or mostly not for sex because you equivocated - but to the extent that there is some kind of a profile on that site, ***PLEASE!!!*** include the above quote in the profile. Put everybody on notice, ahead of time!

If that is not practically feasible, in that there is no profile and you are bound to have piecemeal messaging with each individual guy, make a canned email with the quotation above and send it FIRST THING you do when contacted by a random new guy. FIRST THING!

I am not familiar enough with text messaging and, unfortunately, do not know if "canned text messages" are possible, though. But in email, they are. Here is more for you:

Email Faster & Better With Canned Responses

I swear it would help!

[hamster-bamster]

PS

Oh, and also, your skilled use of self-deprecating vocabulary ("idiotic, pretentious me") is not at all consistent with being in the 3-5 age bucket because self-deprecation is a personality threat of mature individuals. Very puzzling...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I asked your age.. Not your mental health issue(s) .... You don't have to answer what your age is. I was just curious.

actually... there is SOME relationship between age (Christina's question) and borderline (Elektra's answer).

Borderline is a personality disorder and as such is not diagnosable at all before age 18, at least.

So being borderline means that Elektra is over 18, which, in part, answers Christina's question - we just need to make one quick inference.

[Christina86]

I am closing this thread now because there is a lot of bickering which is not beneficial to anyone, nor is it part of the Forums Mission Statement for PsychCentral. Please do not create another thread discussing this issue, as there is already one thread on the same topic.