What do you do when it's time to leave

Maybe I could use some advice about things here like what do you do when it is over (if you had a fling and it is bascially over with- you know -over)

I guess I can answer that myself, but beings I am so dramatic. Anyway I guess I better drop over there and grab my little bit of stuff while he is gone at work. Ha?

Over...............................................................I feel like Cher.................

I so hate that song................................................................Geeeeeeee

Thanks Guys, I feel sh---- and stupid too......da daaaaaa

well if it was a fling, by definition, it was destined to be short lived.
the question is, did you expect a different outcome?

I'd wait until he was home to pick up my stuff and at least tell him so he can have a bit of closure?

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gtrplayer said:
well if it was a fling, by definition, it was destined to be short lived.
the question is, did you expect a different outcome?

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You are right. Guess, I should have been more careful of my heart and made a better decision in the first place. Now I can live with the live consequences and live on.

He popped over today. I am going over tomorrow morning to get all my stuff. Maybe I won't get it till he is gone.

I am going to share it at the support group. Ideally, I am mature enough to do this with out crying and having a nervous breakdown, yet never before have I succeeded with out having one. Any ideas for not have ing a mild to middle nervous breakdown when I leave a medium affair with the wrong person but still try to maintain the dignity??

Hmmm, I don't know, my question is why do you feel you always need or have a breakdown with each breakup? Are you being unrealistic and making the "man" the focus of your world? We do that sometimes, then the world seems to fall apart for us.

I used to sometimes fall apart that way, well really only with one person I did that. However, I learned that I put too much focus on him and the relationship, and forgot about me and my every day needs. Almost like I was living for love...wrong move!!! (for me anyway). Now when I choose relationships, I take my time, don't feel the need to jump ahead, I don't read into stuff, I don't assume, and I don't do anything "intimate" before I really feel I am ready emotionally (unless of course all I really want is just a fling or roll in the hay). More than anything, I look for the common values we have in life-like what is his stance on global hunger? third world countries? politics? abortion? women's rights? if I cannot find a common thread of value there, then, well it's over, cause I always see it like this...if I do da deed with him, whether he & I ever marry and no matter how cautious one can be (anything but abstinence) what if I were to get pregnant? Would I really want this guy in my life? Forever?.....that has settled so many qualms for me, lol!!!!

Bottomline, if you want to stop feeling this way each time, change whatever it is that lets you slip into those old familiar patterns, and hey, stand up for what you really want!! If you want more, ask for it, if he says no, then move on...you are never gonna make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. hugs, Lisa

Got all my stuff. I am being truthful to him all the ways. He isn't falling apart. Feels great to do things this way. Right about my core values compared to his core values. Yes about sick to be with forever if poor choice, or hasty moves and jerky moves at first. Thank you

Feels good to run the possibilies to my group for support. I am really able to look at life more clearly, I am making less mistakes lately.

Remembering to distance myself from men in general. To allow for my growth needs. Can't be too close to men at this time. Have goals to work on and I get too distracted with affection relationships going on around me (raising my son and paying my bills enough for me right now) going to meditate and believe and worship God right now and do less playing around intimately. I really do enjoy this man, but I have to stay more intune with my vision which is getting a goal met that requires all of my time almost and all of my vital energy almost. I am not saying I can't enyoy some dating with him exclusively maybe, but moving in with him and spending many days over his place dosen't sound like a plan to take for my family right now. I have balance to think of. I would wear myself out the other way and get less.

my philosophy has always been instead of trying to look for the perfect partner, try to become the paerfect parnter.