[skittles]

Sometimes when me and my b/f are intimant i feel nasty and dirty......... i guess its because of my past sexual decisions...... i dated alot of guys in desperation to find someone to love me after my ex dumped me....... while dating those guys i got an std..... its cured now but i still get flash backs of what i did to my body..... and feel dirty sometimes.. i wish i could make those feelings go away.... but they seem to just linger

Hi Skittles,
It's like you caught a cold/flu of sorts but in an area that's not supposed to be talked about and there's a lot of insinuations with that area with ANY kind of illnesses that may develop down there.
Every other part of the body except there and in your emotional mind-it's OKAY to be sick in. But boy oh boy-get sick in one of those two areas or both and you can expect alot of negative assumptions and nobody sympathizes.
Try to see it like any other part of the body. It caught some germs and got ill. Like an infected sore on an arm or a toothache.
You took care of it-you're not spreading any germs around. So, you had a little buffet of dates when you were feeling down and lonely. It's not against the law and you didn't go out and intentionally hurt anyone, did you? No.
((((((Skittles))))))))) You're not dirty. You had an illness. It's that simple.

[alisandria]

(((skittles))) you cannot change the past & what occurred, only the present and the future. You did the responsible thing in taking care of yourself. Yeah, it feels creepy & dirty to have an STD, I had one once (my ex gave it to me, but never told me & I was pregnant). I felt dirty, and creeped out by it also, even though I was in a monogamus relationship. Stuff happens, we live and we learn from it.

Sounds to me, you have learned from your "buffet" as jax puts it, that if you overeat...well, there is always a repercussion to our actions. Move forward hun. You are not dirty, you are human, and we all have something in our closet we aren't happy with or perhaps proud of...the difference is, we learned and moved on. Don't let this incident overcrowd the rest of who you are, you are obviously a loving caring person, it shows in your concern!!!

(((((((skittles)))))))

[FaithisAlive]

skittles.. its time to forgive yourself for past mistakes. you are a better person than you give yourself credit for..

What you have in your relationship now has meaning and you can be okay with that.. just be easy on yourself...let your past mistakes go.. don't look back...