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#1
Sep 19, 2006, 01:25 AM
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Having my Inlaws over tonight for dinner Its for my Mother in laws birthday . And also my brother in law is having heart problems( different one than had the heart attack a month and half ago) and he may be having surgery very soon. So I wanted us to get together . Its the first time they've been here for about 2 yrs. Mind you that isnt because WE havnet invited them. They just got a burr up their butts because I wont kiss theirs anymore. Sorry .. I am just getting uptight already .. I just know how this evening is going to go and my mother in law will make it all about her and how she's been mistreated all her life and her trials an tribulations.. IT gets soooo old. I try so hard to understand because she and I have so much in common in life experiences . She is bipolar and she was sexually abused too. But she doesnt think she needs therapy. I cannot dx.. and I dont know for sure.. but it almost seems sometimes that she may have a personality disorder also. I just have to be myself and do the best I can tonight and be hospitable and smile and BREATH. I know I want tonight to go good and I want it to be enjoyable ...especially for my husband. He is looking forward to this again.
  Thats for the 5 of us that will be sitting around the table lol. :P
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#2
Sep 19, 2006, 01:29 AM
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Take it slow and think hard before you say any thing (out loud) - we do not want to hear about you having to
your words, or crow.Take- Care and remember In-Laws are our FRIENDS..... lol. LoVe, Rhapsody - ((( hugs ))) |
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#3
Sep 19, 2006, 08:43 AM
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(((trying2beme)))) It's one night, you have the strength to get through it. When I used to have to deal with my family coming to my house for celebrations (there was always much drama prior to it all, sometimes a month or more...yeah, cwazy huh???) I put myself in a mindset of this....I know what I want (an enjoyable time, things to go smoothly), I know how they are (my mom, kind of sounds like your MIL-she wasn't sexually abused, that I know of anyway, but the whole mindset), I know what to expect (oh, there is just always gonna be something), I know how to react (ahhhhhhh, yep-I have a practiced way of diverting situations, kind of look at them as unnutured children, and how I deal with them...in a kind, yet awkwardly firm manner). It works.
Bottom line, you want this to be a nice night for you and your husband....put on your teflon suit (that's what I call it, things automatically bounce off me on this occassion), have some enlightening and happy topics to talk about...or something...I always have a diversion planned. (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) enjoy this evening, it's not you-it's them, don't let it creep in, you are in control, you are above this and you are not her (I empathize with my mom, but I cannot relate that to her, she won't receive it, I just turn the perspective-I am thankful I am not that lost-it just can totally change the way you view the evening)...best of luck! Let us know how it goes. hugs, Lisa
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~*~Patience is a virtue, so please be virtuous with me.~*~ ~*~Like they say, Rome wasn't built in a day, was it?~*~ ~*~Time is our friend and our healer.~*~ ~*~You are what you attract.~*~ |
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#4
Sep 19, 2006, 09:15 AM
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I would hope they might have changed some in two years, you never know. At minimum they must be having some of the same thoughts you're having about you that you're having about them so are also planning to go slow and not rock the boat? They are finally coming so must want to see you all more than they want to stay away so give them credit for that.
Like Rhapsody says, go slow and concentrate on what you are doing and saying, not on what upsetting things your mother-in-law is up to. You can't do anything about her personality. I'm surprised, if you don't care for her ways that you've asked her over more often than they've been willing to come? I know they're your in-laws and you may love them but most people only invite friends over any more than they have to.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Sep 19, 2006, 01:31 PM
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  This is the closest thing I could find to biting my tongue.. I am good at it for the most part when it comes to them. But guess what.. if things get out of hand.. ITS MY HOUSE.... I can ask them to leave. 
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#6
Sep 19, 2006, 01:34 PM
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OHhh I plan on having a good time.. I plan on being me!!!! And if they dont like me.. They can go BUH BYE! lol... I am beectchin today! lol. NO I dont have an attitude problem.. I GOT ATTITUDE!!!!!! lol
  
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#7
Sep 19, 2006, 01:43 PM
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I've invited them over many times. for my husband. Because I love him and because I want him to be happy. This is his family and I care about him and I care about them. They are just overbearing and overwhelming at times.
And to your Surprised comment.. I guess I am a glutton for rejection.. been used to it . I've learned one thing.. I am not going to ask her personnaly first anymore if she wants to come here .. I am asking the rest of the family first if they want to come here . That way it doesnt really give her a choice. Because if it was up to everyone else.. They would come. She is controlling them. Thats how she is. Her moods everything control everyone else. .. not gonna go that way here anymore!
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#8
Sep 19, 2006, 06:52 PM
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JUST FOR YOU - - - -
 x x x x x x x x x x .......................................................... 
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