[em124]

Hi there,
So basically i think i may just need a bit of reassurance. I am in my second year of university; no boyfriend, and that is all my friends talk about. I mean, i like being independant and worrying about myself, but i really do want that person in my life to think about me and want to be with me ect.. I kind of feel like i am stuck in the middle. But,no guys really have shown interest in me that way. I go out to parties, and it is always the drunken "ohh soo beautiful" type stuff. I never know what is real and what isn't. The worst part is that i like this one guy, but i am pretty sure he is just a sweet talker at the parties .. I just do not know what to do?? I dont think he likes me likes me; just b/c he says the same stuff to every other girl he talks to ;( People tell me when you lest expect it something will happen. But, i just get nervous that i am falling behind, and i am constantly comparing my lack of experience with everyone else and i am nervous that i may never find someone that will completely understand my personal issues as well (eating disorder; anorexia, and body image/ need to excersie). So ya.. just feeling kinda crumy

[nicoleflynn]

As long as you compare yourself to others, you can never be happy...Being the best you can be is the goal. Be yourself...friendly and open and learn who is authentic and not; everyone starts out with no experience....and we live and grow from it. Hugs, Nicole

[Jacki~]

Become special to yourself. It is NOT because of who you are with that makes you special. Granted, becoming real does take some doing, some believing, and some time ... but the determination to see yourself as the wonderful being you are will attract someone who will be dazzled by you.

Treat yourself with kindness. Become real. I just finished reading The Velveteen Principles for Women: How to Shatter the Myth of Perfection and Embrace All That You Really Are by Toni Raiten-D'Antonio I'm positive reading this book will provide extra ordinary insight.

[x_BabyG_x]

Don't meet people at parties and change your game Hun! But I agree with the others... It's harder to find someone and keep them without becoming friends with yourself first xxx

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[Marshellette]

Wait for something real? Do you really want a slimy drunken party dude? You can study with people, meet people at university events...

[hamster-bamster]

I would strongly advise you to focus on your studies and recovery from anorexia - eating normally and regularly. Anorexia is the deadliest psychiatric condition and thus should not be taken lightly. You also report body image issues. This combination of vulnerabilities - body image issues, disordered eating, comparing yourself to others and feeling that you don't measure up, a misguided sense of urgency - can set you up for the most disastrous relationship with a guy whom you will pick up without much forethought but in a hurry just to meet the deadline, and then your anorexia can flare up. Let us talk this hypothetical - you are with a bf who, yes, calls your face beauuuuutiful, but wishes you had more t&a and does not hide it. How would you handle this, on top of the body image trouble you already have?

[Rose76]

You sound pretty sensible to me. I'ld say keep trusting that inner voice that tells you when someone's interest is superficial. It's normal for healthy, young college males to take an interest in whatever female happens to be near. Your smart not to read too much into that. Get to know him a bit better, if that interests you. You don't have to land a partner in college. You've got plenty of time.