[seeker1950]

I'm a "boomer" child, graduating from high school in 1968, at the height of the Vietnam War and the turmoil of the Hippie movement. Going off to college to major in Art, I was natually affected by all of it....Can anyone else here identify? I bought into a lot of the "free love...if it feels good, do it" mindset of the time. I admit, though, that I came out of it deeply wounded and fearful...This really played the major part into my finding a man at age 25 who offered me security and stability, and though I didn't love him, I married him. In a way, this is shameful to admit, but that is what I did! Honestly, I had been so traumatized by the hippie experiences, I was just seeking safety. Even the honeymoon was unhappy, and the 20 year marriage thereafter was equally so!
Divorced 11 years now, I've done no better in establishing a relationship with a man. I seem to be too independent, for one thing, and tend to voice my opinions, which seems to be threatening to men. Or maybe it's insecurity on my part...not sure what!
I actually know people my age who didn't experience the turmoil I did during that time...and seemed obllivious to it! My ex husband was one of them!
Can anyone else relate?
Patty

[bebop]

I remember those days but not as well. I would have graduated in 75 so it was calming down a bit by then but I do remember the free love stuff was still pretty much the thing.

I think women being independant came a tad later. I know I am pretty independant as well and yes it has hurt relationships. I think men got left behind on that part. lol they still want to be in control.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Patty -- I graduated in 1966, went to college for two years in Greenwich Village where there were "Bob Dylan sightings" on every corner, as he was still playing down there those days. I visited Warhols balloon factory.

I am one of those who managed to get through it all relatively unscathed. I think there was some men using women for sex, and my understanding is that it got really bad in some places such as the Village and Haight Ashbury, when lost children from all over the country started pouring into these hippie meccas looking for love in all the wrong places and being exploited by pimps and drug dealers.

I also used men for sex, and I enjoyed a lot of it. I was date raped twice, but there wasn't a name for it back then, so I thought of it as simply an unpleasant drunken experience for a couple of decades, until Time magazine reframed those experiences for me. I'm kinda glad I didn't know what it was for a long time.

I was, for some reason, a pretty smart gal, and I was able to spot phonies and keep myself out of trouble. I don't want to make out like this was all sex and good times -- there was always loneliness, wishing I had a special someone, plus lean years sexually, as I was fairly selective even when I was drunk and high.

I'm so sorry that you are carrying a burden from those years so long ago, and I hope you find a way to let it go and heal.

Hugs and hugs and hugs and hugs.

[seeker1950]

Wants...your story sounds like a poster child for the 60's....really in the thick of it, and you came out okay! I admire your strength and intelligence in viewing your experiences! I was so naive and yet tried to fit in...never really did, believing in love too much, and ultimately experiencing how cold and unloving, selfish, people were behaving...at least in my exp.
It was a "me" generation. My parents even commented once that Dr. Spock (child psychologist of the 50's) had created the monster children we became. Whatever...
Anyway, thanks, Wants, for sharing your experience, much more intense than mine, and you've come out okay. I'll get past thinking about this shortly!
Love
Patty

[Mary Christopherson]

Patty,
I think you were affected by something before '68. I know I was a mess mentally when I started college in '69 because of my early childhood, and didn't get help for it until after I had graduated in '73. Fortunately I was in therapy when the suicidal thoughts came or I might not be here today.
I married the wrong man too, it seems now. Or maybe I just outgrew him as I have been on a self improvement path for about 13 years. I have been surprised where I can find help with my mindset. I even found an internet marketing company that offers Personal Development help because they know how important this is to success and happiness. (Won't post name here-against the rules) You can absolutely make improvements in yourself if you want to. And I for one am happier since I started this path.
Mary