Is family really that important?

My uncles on dads side of the family are all on meth and alcoholics, the aunts are alcoholics, moms manipulative and has munchausen, my eldest brother has serious issues, as in he's an abuser, my uncles on moms side are all distant and act like I'm just any other person even when I haven't seen them in years. I have one brother and one uncle who has stepped up and been there for me, that's it. I try to be there for everyone but an example, I ran away from my abusive ex husband and two aunts and two different uncles said I could stay with them until I saved up money, if I would just leave my ex. When I left I told everyone I would call them when I was on the road, I drove to the other side of the country and not one person answered their phone for over a week, and when they did each one said it just wasn't the right time, so I lived in my car for six months, being a single mom, until I could afford my own place.
Now I've helped all of these people, I don't do drugs or drink, I'm nice and responsible and when they blew me off I ignored it. But now, I'm really tired of feeling like the bottom of the line of alcoholics and druggies.
I'm making some cuts with my family and at this point, I'm considering just cutting them all off. Is family really that important?

I think cutting ties with family is always a sad thing - but sometimes it is for the best. I had to cut ties with a sibling and it was a very hard decision ... but it stopped the abuse. It sounds like you are in a similar place ... take care of yourself. Put yourself first and it is OK if that means needing to separate from family members.

Cutting ties doesn't need to be a dramatic turn of events, IMO. Your family members are so wrapped up in their own issues they may not even notice until they "need" something from you. (Reminds me of my sibling. I simply distanced myself, haven't heard from him in almost a year, and simply don't plan to return his phone call if he gets in touch, etc.)

Best of luck to you - thinking of you, as well.

Family is super important to some people, not at all important to others. It's rather a personal thing.

Family is important to me. And yet, I have cut ties with my younger brother and have minimal contact with everyone else. I maintain contact with my older brother and SIL as I keep contact with my nieces and nephew, and they have always been nice, caring, and stable people.

But the rest? Most of them are decent folks, but it was still easier to just keep everything minimized so that I don't spend all my time feeling hurt and like an outcast.

It sounds like your family is already not a "family" in many ways. You don't have to even announce it that you're cutting ties - just do it. If they notice and miss you they'll contact you. If they contact you JUST because they want you to do something? Just hold your ground and say that you don't have the time right now or don't have the money to help them. They might rage, but, oh well!

You said that you have SOME family members who aren't total jerks, right? Don't cut them out. If you have contact with them already then maintain that because they don't deserve to get cut out!

Exactly!

Several relatives betrayed you, and, as a result, you lived in a car with a child for six months. Cut them out. Keep the ones who have not betrayed you. Is it possible?

Thank you all for your replies, I really thought it over and decided I'm closing my Facebook and kicking everyone out of my life from my past, I need to start over and that's not happening with such a toxic family. I will build my own new family instead of settling for the one I was given. I'm breaking free from them

You have my utmost support in your decision ...

Toxic & Abusive Families destroy the minds, bodies & souls of their victims.

It was the hardest thing I had to do, but had I not done it I wouldn't be here today.

It does get better with time, though, so be patient, gentle and kind with yourself, and surround yourself with people who will treat you well.

Yeah...
I have had to cut my family out at times. For the most part I have let them back in. Although most recently I have decided to cut my dad out again because he's just too toxic. Everyone else in my family seems willing to put up with it and excuses his behavior, which baffles me but it's their prerogative.
I believe that relationships are relationships, no matter who people are. I think that if anyone in your life is treating you like scum and not giving you the time of day, breaking their promises, and leaving you hanging like they did to you, let 'em go. They don't deserve you. And I just want to say I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagine how distressing that must have been for you. I'm glad you were able to get through it though, and find a place to live.

Your new family, you and your children ARE what matters!! Sometimes, it does happen, and ties are cut with our families of origin.

People say that friends are the family that we can choose. Either way, either having people around you as family or as friends is essential. No one is made to live alone.

I think it's better to question whether your family is toxic, and how they affect you, than the importance of family as an idealised concept.

I don't speak to a lot of my family. People say things like: "But she's your grandmother!" As if that means I should put up with anything/everything.

I am all for building a new family, rather than tolerating the rotten one you got. My husband and my cat are my family now.

People say things to me like, "but she's your mother; but i'm your brother." It occurs to me now that no one had ever said, "but that's your father." I'm beginning to think these things are only said when the person mentioned has failed to create and maintain any kind of reasonable relationship with us, because otherwise we don't hear any complaints or judgments about how we're acting. Your interpretation of their remark is that you should let things slide; I was like, so what are you saying?? It turned out the speaker was presuming a bond that was never formed. So maybe all brothers tease their little sisters; some brothers also are kind to them or somehow form that bond. I'm guessing; I don't know from personal experience of brother nor mother.

I think they're either presuming a bond that isn't there or implying that, because you're related, you have some kind of duty to just put up with them - to let things slide, as you say.

When people say: "But s/he's your [relative]," I've started saying: "Yeah, so isn't it a shame s/he is [description]."

E.g. "But she's your grandmother." "Yeah, so isn't it a shame she's a verbally abusive narcissist." Etc.

Yeah, im just saying I never understood what they MEANT by it - it sounded like they were implying more than a biological connection. Like would they say that if they knew you were adopted and the person was only related to you by birth? I think I finally figured it out for myself. I dont think they would. I think they're saying, that person took care of you, gave you cookies - dont you remember? No, I dont remember because it never happened. I do remember what did happen. Now I need to be allowed to move on.

i agree with the above post, i also cut ties with my sister, put u first.