[emoangel]

I dont know what to say so i guess i'll just give you the background first.

I got a new roommate at the beginning of the semester, and my boyfriend and her get along great, so great in fact, that it started making me nervous, and dare i say, jealous, so i brought it up with him instead of just letting it all boil inside of me. So later he came back to my place after work to tell me that he loved only me and that he is going to deal with the problem and not worry about it. The problem is, when we sit down and have talks like this, we always digress to past or existing issues, so what we also ended up talking about is how i am too sensitive, how he feels like he cant have friends that are girls, that I have a problem and that i wont realize it until i see it for myself, and on and on and on. Everything i said in the course of this conversation was wrong apparently, at least thats how it felt, he just fires back so quickly at me that i figure its best not to talk at all, to just stay quiet and let him go, even if i do want to cry really badly, i hold it inside because my being "overly sensitive" is a problem and its wrong according to him, and it effects him negatively and frustrates him, so i have no choice but to just sit there and take it. It doesnt feel fair to me, and i dont like that that is how we deal with things, i know i have to talk to him about this, i already told him twice that whenever we speak like this i feel like im always wrong, but he says he doesnt even realize that hes doing it. What do i do? We are a young couple, so we have time to work on our issues, but us being young, and me in college, and him working full time, i think this gives some fragility to the relationship. Someone help me. I feel like being sad and crying and blowing things out of preportion sometimes is the deadliest of the 7 sins. I just hate being who i am sometimes because i cant be myself without people saying that its wrong, because then, logically its wrong being me....some help me please *cry* im at the end of my rope with this sensitivity issue and his bad habit.

all things shall pass...even life.

[molly5252]

This sounds like emotional abuse to me. You are a sensitive person that is who you are there is nothing wrong with that. It sounds like he does not appreciate that about you and he should. If truly loves you for everything that you are. You should not feel bad at all, it is natural for you to be feeling the way that you do because most of the time when guys are interested in "getting to know other girls" they are interested in much more. That is just from my experience. We need more sensitive people in the world today everyone is so cold and selfish these days. It sounds like he is doing quite a number to your self esteem. Do not hold your feelings inside that will cause you much unneeded emotional damage. No guy in the world is worth that no matter what. You are better off alone. If he wants to be with you then he should just be with you. If he wants to "get to know other girls" then he should not be able to have you as well. Don't let him have his cake and eat to. You need to work on yourself it sounds to me like maybe you need to lose him because you have self esteem issues. Weather or not they stared with him I am unsure, but it does not sound at all like he is helping things. Please just worry about yourself and take super good care of yourself in the end you are all you have.

[ltlredvett]

Please don't let this youg man change who you are inside. I wound up in a 19 year marriage where I was emotionally abused. It took me a long time to realize what was happening to me. I was always wrong.... I worked my way throuh night school for my Masters, moved to a place where she could get hers.. but instead of being proud of me she would through it up in my face, saying that I was arrogant... she would never forget the smallest mistake I made and threw it up in my face when it was convenient for her.... made fun of the music I listened to... on and on and on.

Over time I lost who I was as a person. And, this set me up for a divorce, I lost being with my children whom I love so dearly. And then a deep depression ensued culminated by a series of very poor decisions.

So, address this head on. Deal with it now before it gets worse. If you think this person could be your life partner get to counseling to see if this problem can be resolved. If not then it would probably be best for you to move on. The consequences of being in an emotionally abusive relationship can be devastating.

[rubyred]

This may sound cold, but I say "Dump him."