[aurill50]

The last few months it feels like a gap has been growing between my boyfriend and I. We've been on and off for almost 5 years now and usually we bounce back from our rocky spots. But ever since we moved into our new apartment it seems we've been drifting apart. We don't seem to connect emotionally like we used to and it seems like his mind is on other things besides us.

During these few months I was hospitalized because I couldn't handle the stress of life. Between moving, finding a new job, and my car crapping out on me I felt I just couldn't handle anymore after him and I got into a small fight about our relationship.

Because of this gap I've been seeking out the company of others. Lately my feelings have rekindled with one of my exs. Our relationship has always been complicated but the spark between us is amazing and I enjoy every minute of it with him.

The last couple days though, my boyfriend and I are reconnecting emotionally. Which scares me because I know what's coming. My boyfriend and I go through these cycles where we are in a good place, then it goes to a kind of limbo phase where nothing happens, and then we fight or something happens that is emotionally charged and we're ok again.

If anyone has any advice or questions please ask or comment...

[anneo59]

What do you really want to do? Just a thought, you could make a list of pros and cons, one for keeping your relationship, one for the other one! And sounds like you have some other things to work thru, so I wish you all the best. But it can all be worked out, it's just not easy, LIG, life in general, I call it!

[Nicks_Nose]

If doubt exists then the answer is there. If you felt like this move was the right thing then you wouldn't have these nagging doubts. Communication has to be there. If you cannot discuss this with your partner, then the relationship cannot grow. Without communication it will stagnate and dissolve. The first thing you have to do is talk to him. No complaining, no accusing, just ask him to take some time with you to talk and indicate that you feel that you both need couple time. Ask about his thoughts and what has been occupying his time. Listening to him is equally as important. Good luck to you both.

[aurill50]

Thank you for your replies

Funny cause after I posted I talk to him a little bit and things seemed to come around. I'm just afraid that they will go back to where there's no communication and it feels like we're just room mates and nothing more.

We've talked about spending time together over and over.. but again.. I think our interests are starting to become very different in what we want to do. Plus I'm pretty sure I'm co-dependent on him. As I have borderline personality disorder.. (probably why I don't want to leave because I hate feeling alone and he's the one person in my life that I opened up completely to; mind, body, and soul)

I guess I'm just one messed up person...

[gayleggg]

I will say that until you make up your mind about your current relationship you should stay away from you ex. That can only lead to confusion.

[aurill50]

I think so too, but when a girl has needs that her man won't satisfy... then you tend to stray.. but when her man comes back around well.. then she stays.. That's how it seems to be going.