[LostNAngry]

Why is it when you have a relationship (Im not just talking about a sexual relationship. It could be a friend family or whatever) with a person and they are no longer part of your life ONLY THEN do you realize the great fun times and all the memories you had with that person.
It can be a song(s), a TV show, a movie, a joke, and the memories just wont go away. They haunt me all the time throughout the day throughout the night....It was not a healthy relationship with this person and I just feel so sad when I think of all the good times we did have though. It seems like the more I try to make the memories go away or slow down the more I remember certain things about the person. Ya know its one of those relationship bonds that you want to break all ties and your heart and mind are working together. I know time is suppose to make it easier but some days it doesn't work at all.Is there anyone else that has this type of situation? What do you do to make your mind just stop? Thanks for reading this even if you don't respond it just feels to get it out of my head.

[gnat]

I am the worst person I know when it comes to handling a person who ended a relationship with me, so I have no advice, but want to let you know I get that it really sucks...a lot...

[PeachCream22]

It's okay LostNAngry. i can totally relate to you. If it was not a healthy relationship, then it's good to let it go. it was the right thing to do. These memories are what keeps us going to help us find people who we HAVE good times with AND stay with us, as we find the right people to be with. It always happens, the good memories i mean, when someone is gone from your life. It's a natural part of life. But we have to move on, and let the good memories stay in your life, at least it's better than bad memories right? Cherish them, and feel happy you have them, instead of missing the person. Everyone will come and go sometimes, and we just have to let go, perhaps it's just not meant to be.

[LostNAngry]

Thank you guys and right on PeachCream..your words are full of wisdom for sure! thanks
And gnat yeah I just am feeling stuck if I had to choose a word. But life goes on but we take it a day at a time and hope for the best right???

[seeker1950]

I have some perspective on this. I was devastated by the ending of my loving relationship with a man while I was in college. I married, had a daughter, lived in an unhappy marriage for 20+ years, then divorced. After that, I dated several men, trying to find that spark I remembered with that special man. But as time has passed, I'm recalling the bad things about the relationship, to an excess. It really was pretty much all bad, and in my mind it was just romantic at the time. Yes, there are songs and moments that can recall it, but as time passes, I realize how lucky I am to have escaped the abusive nature of the relationship. Even until a few years ago, I actually contacted the man. We communicated, for a couple of times during our lives departed. Each time these communications resulted in my feeling bereft and somehow abandoned.
Maybe this is not the case for you. If not, I apologize for sharing this.
At any rate, I have now reached the point of closure, and peace about the way the relationship transpired. Sometimes we idolize these initial romances beyond what they are/were.

[LostNAngry]

Thank you for sharing Seeker. I think you absolutely found the word I am looking for I feel abandoned by some of past relationships/friendships and some relationships that I still have but are rocky. I, at the time, was "so important" and this and that and then I am nothing to some of them. No phone calls, no emails, no anything...
I think my mental illness has a lot to do with it. I am bipolar so I tend to get really weird and think paranoid thoughts and I think it pushes people away. Instead of learning about this illness to help me through it they have chosen to run away and leave me abandoned-feeling a lot of loss of love and now hard to trust people with any of my emotions except anger. Thank you very much Seeker. I think you just clarified something that I couldn't put into words myself but you found them