[razeljenny]

anyway. Feeling that way. Went over to Lars house today. He would not answer the door. Nor yesterday did the phone call get answered. Mind wants to go to "maybe, sucide, he did." Not going to jelousness, not facribation of weirdness, like lover.

Just feel shaky, crappy.

At school doing math lab because don't fully understand the h.w.

Need reassurance. Have doubts about this man, I think about the guy alot. I can't get distracted. My pain is opening. Hope it won't get me.

Feel crappy. H e L P. razeljenny.

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy today..... I do not know the story behind this guy and you so I cannot really reply to it, but I do understand the wondering if any thing is wrong part. Please know that we are here for you.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Leilee]

Sweetheart be patient with yourself! Life does get terribly tough a lot and most people don't understand us. I'd like to suggest you do something loving for yourself. Like a Anti-stress bath: half gallon whole milk, 3 chamomile tea bags, 1/2 cup Epson Salt mixed with hot water and soak for 20mins. You'll feel so luxurious that the small stuff goes away.

A therapist once told me that whenever someone mistreats you you need to do something special for yourself. Maybe buy that favorite houseplant??

I also know about rejection, I live with my disapproving parents and want badly to move out with my former boyfriend which they can't stand. So, no one wins. Too bad! Just know I care about what you're going through.

[razeljenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy today..... I do not know the story behind this guy and you so I cannot really reply to it, but I do understand the wondering if any thing is wrong part. Please know that we are here for you.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
What happened, is that one of my 5 personalities came out when I started to take the mania medicine a week ago. It was the second evening I took it. I was doing my usual spending the night for keeping company with my boyfriend, (since July 24 this year) Anyway, he has always know me predictably and that evening because the medicine was not a thing I understood, I had a cosmic reaction to it.

First of all it make me wide awake, when normally I rest great in the evening. Secondly it caused my other personality (the impulsive mind reading, mystical one to come out, (this only comes out maybe once in 4 years, well it reared it full head)

Thirdly, there was no impulse control of "IT" what so ever. I was watching myself, and knew the whole time, it would not stop, and could do nothing to stop it from speaking and behaving.

Fourthly, it is a mystic, fortune-teller, (I am normally a Christian and keep other interests to myself about anything like hearing the "Spirits." But not knowing the cosmic reaction to the Limictal, there was no way to know that would surface, much less to gain any real mature behavior, such as leaving his home, immediately. In other words, I lost my mind, (to him literally,) to me, I experienced the "other person," but had no way to stop her behavior at all. I did not find myself dangerous, but I am sure boundery crossing can be considered dangerous to a intimate friend that really doesn't know you and has accepted your normal etticate.

It happened about 2 Fridays ago and Lar just processed it and I believe has a right to make the decisions he choses without explanation. I did try to explain to him, I would not do that again, but to no avail. Despite his acting aggreable and kind, I see that he is not real comfortable being in his home or anywhere with me. I feel great pain, knowing if it were not for me being around him that Friday night, things would be entirely completly not the same.

So, I feel disturbed, because I am rejected by his knowledge and non acceptance of this behavior. I know in my heart it is a shame. Man I am sad.

I even bought breakfast over there this morning from McDees but he was home, yet would not answer the door. Man I am feeling crappy. I am so mad for this event to have happened.

Love Robin Razeljenny I feel like crap I feel so so so so so so so rotten. I can hardly get my other obligations taken care of, and feel weighted down so heavily. I feel ashamed of myself.

My theripist wasn't even there for the appointment and I needed to talk so much to her at mental health. I am so exasperated and so down. Gosh I am feeling bad. I want to go back around but know it is against the law to do it because it can be called stalking, especially if he has kept his door closed and not answered the telephone for almost two days. I did drive by and it seems he is living his life, comming and going but he dosen't want me around. I thought it was going to be so so different.

I reallly feel so so so so bad bad bad. I feel like ripping up paper and throwing dishes and throwing rocks and breaking some stuff. I don't feel like injuring anyone or thing but I am so so upset. I feel stinky.

I had to be reminded to take my new medicine from my girl friend at school, named Laren. Help

[hillbunnyb]

hon, if ya gotta throw something that shatters, throw ice cubes. they shatter great and then melt. no sharp edges. i love it when i need it. hang in there.

[JustAPixie]

((((((((( razeljennie )))))))))

[alisandria]

(((razeljennie)))