hate my family

i know i should love my family.but after years of abuse and being neglected.i have no love for them.never been told i'm loved and they never hug me.all they have done for decades now is call me names or ignore me.they are heartless etc

I'm so sorry. Are you in Therapy ?

It's understandable that you would not feel love towards your family from hearing what you have been through and continue to go through. I am so sorry to hear that your family has treated you so bad. I really hope that you have someone, such as a therapist or counselor that you can talk to about the things you've been though. If you don't/can't get help in that way, I would recommend that you try journaling, or if you're not good at writing you could try drawing or painting or something like that. Some way to express and get out your feelings.

i go to counseling but been through 3 counselors in the last 3 years.the place i go to don't keep counselors long.my 3rd one at times annoys me.she keeps asking me what i want work on.like what the hell do's that mean?i just want to vent

I'm sure having numerous counselors hasn't helped...Have you asked them why they are asking you that questions? Mant times T's ask that question to see what you feel is a problem area.

Post and vent all you want here .. It's good to just get it all out

told the counselor that i just want to vent and i did not understand what she meant.she really annoyed me.i just want to vent so i don't just snap one day after holding everything in.

Venting is a good thing .. Maybe your T is just trying to break it all down so you can process the anger you have and then you can move on?

Therapy can be painful at times

doubt it i tried to talk about my feelings and she just kept repeating herself.it's like my family all over again.not being listened by my own family and now counselor.i cry a lot when i'm by myself because i was told as a kid i was not allowed to express my feelings and i got hit real bad at times for crying growing up.they called me weak,overly sensitive,stupid,retard etc.i hold a lot of stuff in because of fear of rejection,being hit,being called names like what happened to me growing up.even my grandmother was nasty to me.one time she lost her 1 dollar hair brush then blamed it on me and said i ruined her life by moving in the same state as her.when she died my family tried to force me to talk about her in front of everyone at the funeral.but i was not going to go and say how great of a person she was when all she did was say mean and nasty things to me and others.she died 9 years ago and i don't even miss her one bit

I'm so sorry your hurting so much..Maybe you need a new Therapist .. Maybe you just haven't found the right one yet .

hang in there I dont like mine either

the one i had before her was a lot better and he was a guy

I'll bet you don't know that there is an etiquette in therapy. Since therapists are in the business of assisting you in resolving your difficulties, they have a certain [B]SET in counseling. "Set" means 'game plan.' Think back over the previous therapists you have had. Usually they give you maybe two sessions to emote, cry, spill your guts, and vent. After that they want to identify the problems to be solved; get at the difficulties you wish to work on. They are problem solvers, and if you don't come up with a PROBLEM they can get frustrated. It may be that you only wanted to "vent" in counseling. That is a goal in itself, and perfectly fine. HOWEVER, IF THAT IS YOUR GOAL, MOST THERAPISTS WILL ALLOW ONLY A FEW SESSIONS FOR THAT.

You see, clients and their insurance companies put pressure on therapists to develop goals for treatment: a treatment plan. You cannot bill insurance without one. And depending on how detailed the treatment plan is, insurance will grant up to 10 sessions for which they will pay. Most privately paying clients do not want to languish in therapy for years, and want to deal with whatever problems as efficiently as possible (i.e., as cost effective as possible). A treatment plan which only specifies, "venting" will get only a few counseling sessions granted by most insurance companies.

Insurance companies are not your friend, despite what their TV commercials say. They want to cut corners, scrimp and save money any way they can, even if that means denying your coverage (i.e., Dear Insured. We do not pay visits to your Therapist for "venting.").

So please forgive your therapists for asking questions, digging, and trying to get at issues which led you to come to therapy. They are doing their job, and are trying to be helpful, but at the same time are trying to get paid.

I suggest that you give them a goal for treatment so everybody can be happy. I have some suggestions. One goal can be learning how to deal with your family members when you have to have future contact with them. Another goal is to acknowledge that you have been abused, and want to learn how NOT to be a victim anymore. The only catch is that you have to work on these goals, and that calls for more than just venting. You can still vent, however you have to do other stuff, too. One last suggestion is that you would love a group (i.e., group counseling). Groups are for venting. Other members in groups will have similar experiences, will agree with you, and will cheer you on. You will love it. It takes a lot of pressure off of the therapist to develop a treatment plan. I suggest a group for people who have been abused by their family. There are millions of people out there who are in that 'boat.' Good luck.