I have lost everything

Hello....this is about my ex. We decided to kiss for closure. i know it sounds weird, but it sounded like a good idea at that time. And he had feelings for someone else, who also felt the same. But he still couldn't move on from me. So we sort of decided to move on together with that action.

A friend of mine asked if we kissed, and i did not deny it. She was in love with the girl (who likes my ex) and she decided to tell her.

I have never felt so alone in my life. My ex, my friend, the ex's possible gf, they were all my friends. Now, I'm going to lose all of them. Because of one tiny mistake..

I was going through a lot of intense feelings, and it has not been easy:
1) http://forums.psychcentral.com/copin...nd-repair.html
2) http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...31-losing.html
3) http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...-now-what.html

It's funny how I'm the one who suffered the most throughout....should be the one to die first in this complicated predicament..was I wrong? I wanted to be happy for him. I wanted to things to be okay. But my friend just had to drag this up, assuming things about our relationship. I.....am not going to trust anyone...ever again...Just one mistake...

And it's A levels...in a few days...with these feelings inside of me now...I will not be able to study....I will fail. Everything is gone. Everything. I'm sorry..if you took the time to read all that...I am grateful...

Yes, that is usually how it works out. In my case, I kicked my husband out and had him file for divorce. He shortly there after, before to divorce was over, he hooked with my friend/ex boss. And marries her shortly after the divorce. Then mutual friend chose sides and I lost him too. So I understand kind of what are going through. I thought everthing would work out where we could all stay friends, but that didn't happen jealousy made impossible.

It's hard to lose so much at one time, but don't lose hope. There will be new friends. And for a while you will not be able to trust but later on it gets easier.

Peachcream22...I have no advice. I only know how you feel. Wish I could help.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, it was a human response. It is sad, I do know, and it will linger, take time out to study, you will succeed, and take time out to grieve...and to let yourself off the hook you put yourself on---I am sorry your friend was not trustworthy...sometimes people don't even realize when they are doing something so hurtful, so wrong. Some people cannot put themselves in another's place for a moment...Take Care of You

Thank you everyone. I am so blessed to have met you all here.

winter4me: So basically, you're telling me to move on with my life as usual, but just take some time out to grieve? I will try my best, but I guess it will be hard since the wound is fresh and open, and it'll take some time to get used to its presence.

Any other suggestions about what i should do?

Doesn't sound like ANY of these people are being supportive of you.

If you just "kissed'- that is nothing. Full sexual intercourse sure, but kissing, like OMG get over it. For me on a personal level kissing is nothing.

It sound like everyone is being excessively critical of you. That's all I have to say.

These people you mean my ex, and friends or the people HERE in PC?

Well, I'm glad people just read it since I vented and even replied to it. And wisedude thank you for saying that it was just a kiss. Somewhere deep inside of me, I'd felt it was unfair. It was just a kiss after all. But i guess it's still not right, but i guess things will move forward for the better after this truthful episode in my life.

It is hard to move on while grieving, if you can compartmentalize your studies (it's kind of like putting the pain in closet, or box for a while and "forgetting") and grief for a time (not that you won't have spill-overs) I think you can both succeed and grieve...even set aside time to grieve... Some mindfulness exercises/or other physical activities (running, walking, swimming, whatever is available) can also help. Sometimes, work can be the way through the worst of our grief...
Keep putting one foot in front of the other...I am so sorry you are going through this, you Really did Not do Anything Wrong! This is someone you had a life with, who was a part of you (and at some level will always remain a part of you)---I have two friends very happily married to each other (not without struggles we all face) --they were each previously married and the woman did have sexual intercourse with her ex once during the time she was getting divorced and planning to marry her love...it was tough on both of them but he and she both understood it for what it was...a moment of weakness, a moment of lost intimacy returning, a mistake, a human mistake, not worth beating anyone up over. (they have been together many years now, with grown children etal)

Wow, thank you for sharing. It makes me feel slightly better that I'm not alone. I've always thought that i was in the wrong and should be banished from the face of Earth...and I continue to feel resentful for the one who told the girl that my ex likes. Even if i was wrong, i hope they'll get over it. I don't want her apology; she has nothing to apologise for. I am still fighting with my own feelings of confusion and hurt. But time does heal. Thank you for sharing your story.