Toxic Relationship & boyfriend won't grow up, Need advice!!.

i need advice, and opinions :
I have been living, and dating with my boyfriend since spring. Everything was great at first. He used to pick me flowers, give me tons of affection, smile at me, and people would laugh and be like "oh you two are still in your honey moon phase" Anyways since I've moved In It's been hell. He moved here from his hometown to get off welfare, and get his act together. He still has no job, we are still in the same position we were in months ago, and He keep hearing things will get better, but they have just gotten worse. We split monthly welfare cheques, I'm trying to go back to school, and mentally more stable, and I can't deal with our money situation anymore. We owe so much money for damages of our drunk fighting, and I owe money for rent. and We have to move at the end of the month, and we still don't have a place. He has had a couple of job interviews here and there, but no call back. He makes up excuses "oh its too far" " i have anxiety issues" well why won't he go get help with anxiety I myself have struggled with It, It won't go away on its own, He needs professional help. It's so bad that he shakes In the morning when he wakes up.

We have both realized we need to work on ourselves. It has been a very slow process to getting healthy, and getting **** figured out. I have gained weight, had no food in the fridge, have mentally broke down crying for no reason, I have locked myself in the bathroom, we have fought pretty much, I have gotten so angry and physically and emotionally absuive. Just today before his interview at the scrap yard I had to wake up, and help him find his other glove, he left and came back because he forgot his goggles. It's just frustrating because He should have done that last night. He has a dog he can't take of. Yestersday I had to feed him. he didn't take him for a walk until 11:30ish when I wanted to start getting ready for bed, and the dog ended up shitting on the floor and I ended up stepping in it. and he said " it's karma" Because I ****ed up the night before drunkenly.

I ended up fooling around with our friends girlfriend. I didn't honestly think he would have freaked out, before we fooled around he was downstairs and her boyfriend showed len a picture of her tits and he made a comment about them. But I understand where he's coming from, because I realized It Is still cheating. the gender doesn't matter. Anyways... Things have been bad. After all that happened he left their house, I didn't have keys to get back into our apartment or a cellphone, or money. They had to pay for my cab home. I had to kick In the door, So now our roommate is pissed off. The apartment Is trashed. I asked him to make me dinner last night, I made us some hashbrowns, and he left the perogies In for so long they got really soggy, and the cheese melted out of it. Tasted disgusting. The food we do have He eats Into It, When I'm sleeping and wake up theres wrappers or a cereal bowl. Like we get afford to eat so much in a day. We end up having to go to all the food banks in the city before the end of the month, We run out of money before the week is over and thats all the money we have until next month. He smokes most of our smokes. Somehow he has made 2 cartons be gone before the month has barely even started.

He worries too much about his friends in his hometown, or his "backstabbing friends" rather than just worrying about himself. I told him If he didn't change his ways I was going to leave him. I need to start putting my foot down. He is 25 years old and unemployed, his goals he does have he hasn't been working towards them. I tried to get him to get rid of his dog because we can't afford it,and It has been months and he still has his dog. I know It's hard to just get rid of a dog, but he hasn't been able to take care of it, he can't even take care of himself. The dog had fleas for weeks before he got the drops to get rid of it, and I ended up loosing sleep over It. Every time I try to talk to him about things he sighs, rolls his eyes, and doesn't seem to take me seriously. he will snap sometimes and be like all you do is b-i-t-c-h at me. I don't want to act like his mother but holy crap. I feel like I'm on the constant urge of breaking down, OH and get this HIS DOG IS STILL SCRATCHING. I can't deal with this anymore. I love him so much, and If I leave him I will be completely on my own. I told him I didn't want to find an apartment at the last minute and be stressed out, or have to worry about what we are going to do with the dog. He acts like a man child sometimes. and all he can say for himself is "I'm trying really hard" "I can't go back and change the past" I Heard "things are going to get better" almost every month now, and I need to have stability. I don't want to fight anymore. There's so much hostility and tension and I don't know how to get our relationship back.

We used to have sex 9-10 times a day now I ask him to help get me off and he sighs almost, It seems like a chore for him sometimes. I can't do this anymore. I feel so unloved, so unheard, and he doesn't even seem to care. I don't think he is going to change anytime soon. All i want is a playful trusting happy relationship. He always keeps things In, and then when we get angry he explodes. I am starting to do the same because everytime I am open and honest It seems to get me no where, and I'm tired of everything. It's hard not to get angry and mean being THIS stressed out about EVERYTHING.

Dump him. You do not need all that drama. All that drama is taking the focus off you and your wellness.

Well you obviously both have some shared problems: alcohol is one of them, that is obviously causing trouble.

Also cigarettes are an awful habit and suck away your limited money, as I am sure you know.

You sound more capable than the guy, and it would seem he is the one dragging you down.

He is obviously- to be frank- an irresponsible, immature and blatantly incompetent emotional cripple. As you have clearly pointed out he can't look after himself at all, and forget him being supportive to you, or even taking care of the dog.

Why on earth are you with him? You say you don't want to be alone and that is holding you in this nightmare? I mean surely you can find someone better.

Imagine what it would be like to have a partner that was actually competent and responsible and could actually be supportive to you. Is your self esteem to low that you don't feel you can get or deserve such a person?

It would suck for a while if you have to leave him, be alone and get your own place. But then you can go back to the dating scene and try not to get involved with such an :"idiot" (to be frank) next time.

I strongly recommend you move on, and get out. You may have problems too, but you are certainly not getting any support from your partner.

If you stay with him, things are not going to get better, he is not going to change or improve. He may have charmed you in the beginning, giving you a good impression, but it was obviously a lie, he can't take basic care or responsibility for anything!

Whatever you decide. Best wishes.

This man in not going to change. I would advice you to leave him as soon as possable. I know that this will be tough, as you say you love him. You are not going to get what you said you wanted from this man who want even seek help. It is not good for you to stay in this relationship.

Pack your bags and move on. Why in the world are you still with him ?

I always thought "Tall, dark and handsome" was what people like to call a desirable "type" man.

I was blissfully unaware that lazy, unsupportive, immature, irresponsible, ambitionless and emotionally stunted was a desirable catagory type.

Really, move on already. Life has better things in store for you, but you can't find it while cleaning up after this guy. Love is nice and all, but is it worth sacrificing yourself and a good future for? He's holding you back and will eventually drag you down with him. I'm sure there's a better version of love out there for you...

If there is nothing holding you back such as marriage I would pack up and leave. This guy sounds like a slacker and very immature I might add. Cut your losses now while you're still young.