[TwelveHours]

I've been single for a while and I find it hard to allow myself to become interested or connected with someone to any real depth, probably due to failed relationships in the past. The past year or two have been strange for me because I've had people from past relationships come back to me on a friendship level and during these times, the past has come up as well as honesty about things that I never knew happened in the past, which would have crushed me emotionally then and it kind of crushes me emotionally now. Although these relationships failed, I always held dearly the good moments, where I thought I was being loved as much as I was loving them. Instead, I discovered that there had been other women involved with them at the same time (happened in more than one long term relationship apparently) and I feel as though many years of my life and what I considered precious memories were just an illusion created by someone manipulating me for their own selfish needs. I feel hurt and I'm having trouble understanding what is real in the world anymore. I'm having trouble trusting anyone and trouble trusting my own self and my own judgement. It is a scary and horrible feeling. I feel lost. Can anyone relate?

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome! I am sad you had those experiences. Might you be attracted to people who are not trustworthy, for some reason? Just a thought......

I suggest you still try to think about the positive moments, since they were real to you at the time.

Are you seeing a therapist, by any chance? A therapist could help you to get over the hurt and perhaps to ultimately be able to establish good relationships.

I have someone in my life who is narcissistic, so I have to take what she says and does with a grain of salt, knowing that ultimately she is good to me for what I can do for her.

[curley]

Twelve, do not let others ruin precious moments for you. Real or not real. How do you know that the people ruining these moments are not just trying to burst your bubble. Some people can never be happy for others no matter what.
As far as trusting others, just be careful with your heart. Before giving of yourself to much let time show you what they are all about. Always and I mean always go with the old saying that actions speak louder then words, cause it is always true! People can say anything you want to hear, but the way they treat you, the way they act is the only truth you can believe.