[Lynn]

I posted earlier about me and my unhappy marriage, with Child. I just want to say, that things seem to be doing okay. I have asked my husband to go a session with me and my Psyciatrist. Mainly to see what direction we may need to go. Cause Jason may need to go to individual therapy, before we go into couples therapy. He has some issues to deal with, but has not really dealt with them. I myself have a therapist, well the Psyciatrist and a Psychologist. I see the Psychologist when I need to see her. So the therapy part is getting covered.

He is a good dad, actually he has to be one of the best dads I have ever seen. He takes care of her when she wakes up in the morning and in the evening before she goes to bed. Those are his special times with her. And he is so good with her. And on Sundays he has daughter daddy day, I go to church (he doesn't, he is not the chruch going type) so in the morning he has all that time with her, and sometimes he may go places with her. (she is only 6 months) but this stuff is so important to a child. Plus it helps me out also, gives me times to be by myself, aswell as do things I don't get done when I am taking care of her.

Our Marriage is not doing well, but I am not giving up at all. Not for a while. Our Daughter is one of the happiest babies anyone has seen, she is always smiling and happy, laughing and all that stuff, very rarely do you see her unhappy, only when she is hungry. So in our home there must be something that makes her happy, and I don't want to disturb that. He and I may have our problems, but as parents we come together for her. And we are both happy with her. We just are not happy with one another. We can live under the same roof and get along, we just don't have the closeness a married couple would normally have. I am no longer attracted to him and he isn't really attracted to me. But we both are going to try and get help and see what we can do. At least worse comes to worse, we may end up living like friends, and that would be good for our daughter and I would be happy with that also. Well thers is so much to think about. But one day at a time is what we do.

[Zenobia]

Argh! this is the third time I am trying to get this written. For some reason or other I keep losing it. So here is a shorten version, it is not all prosey like my last too.

What you are going through is normal. I went through the same thing with my husband and all of the women I knew from Co-op preschool said they went through the same thing when they had their babies. Give yourself time and understanding. You and your husband are pouring all your spiritual energy into this little needy wonderful new person. It is hard to come up with the little bit more to care for one another. And Attraction, ha, don't even think about being attracted physically to one another for another 6 months to a year. It is just too exhausting caring for a wee one to pull those kinds of feelings out of the basket.

Take care,
Zen

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The path is narrow to the right madness. Be wary of trembling in the wrong places! The demons often disguise themselves as gods. And vice versa.--Sam Keen

[curlyq]

Well, you're doing everything to raise your daughter and are good parents for her--that's wonderful. I've never been in the situation as you are in but I agree to take your time to resolve your marriage problems. I'm glad you are someone who seeks help when she needs it. That's a very good quality to be open to find new ways and strategies and gain information on things not going well. I wish you the best of luck with things and glad to hear from you. Hope you'll keep us posted. Take care. CQ

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<font color=green>"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
John Burroughs</font color=green>