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  #1  
Old Nov 05, 2013, 03:54 AM
lostsoulinafishbowl lostsoulinafishbowl is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2
My name is Aaron and I am 20 years old. Im here reaching out to anyone who may have advice for me, considering the fact not alot of people have experienced this sort of mess.
My story is extremely long and intricate, so my goal here is to keep it short and let discussion have its way.t

Upon very many other problems, including financial, I have a glooming demon haunting the halls of my brain. See Im not a bad looking guy, hell, girls tell me im cute quite often. Im good at speaking, holding conversatioshe , I can be very confident. ...until lately..but if you look at me, theres nothing wrong with me.

I've had sex with 2 girl countless times, never ceased to please them. Life should be great right?

Heres the short simple reason Im here, and the cause of most of my depression. After I broke up with my second girlfriend, I went back and forth between her and my first ex for a while. Until finally both went down. I met a new girl and she was AMAZING. I loved everything about her. I lay her down in my bed, and I couldnt get hard for her. This destroyed my confidence and who I was as a person. We tried so many times, nothing. I went to consult a doctor, everything was normal. So eventually I discovered it still works with my ex......she has moved on now so its whatever with her...but now I have no sexual thirst, no drive, nothing.

I know most of you aren't doctors, but its gotten to the point where I don't even flirt anymore because im scared of not being able to perform, and its making me depressed like hell.
Hugs from:
Travelinglady

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  #2  
Old Nov 05, 2013, 10:44 PM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
Hello and welcome to Psych Central! Just because a girl is technically "perfect" does not mean that you will be attracted to her. Maybe this new girl just doesn't affect you. Maybe you are too worried about pleasing her.

Now, to be blunt, do you get a reaction at all to other women now? Maybe if you see a sexy movie or something? I hear you saying nothing physically is wrong.

Of course, the more worried you get about this lack of response, the worse it might be--like a vicious cycle.

These thoughts come to mind, anyway.....

Just try to relax for now.

Let's see what other folks might suggest. You might try posting in the Sex forum to see if some guys have thoughts about it.
  #3  
Old Nov 07, 2013, 04:20 PM
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curley curley is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 644
Hey Lostsoul,
I usually try to be a bit more original, but I have to agree with Payne. Just because you feel this girl is perfect, obviously there is something about her that does not turn you on.
If you are thinking about someone else when you are with her that could be a good explanation for your "problem".
I think that backing off of girls or flirting altogether is unnecessary. You are a very young man. Do not be thinking about it so much and I am sure when you least expect it..all will be well!!
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People are like stained glass windows They sparkle and shine in the sun but when
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revealed only when there is light within . Elizabeth Krubel-Ros
  #4  
Old Nov 07, 2013, 04:36 PM
ThirtyThree82 ThirtyThree82 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 7
Hi, Aaron. This seems like more of an emotional problem. You are very young, and seem to need to grow a bit emotionally. Sex isn't purely physical, and as a young man, you have probably only experienced lust. With your 2 partners, maybe it was easy for you to perform because you didn't feel much love for them. Maybe you are just growing up a little, and do not want to participate in purely lustful experiences anymore. Do you want more than just sex???? If so, that is good, and do not worry anymore. Get to know people first. You don't have to have sex right away.
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