[razeljenny]

They successfully did the sabbatoge against our beginning (me and Lar) Against all odds their work worked. We aren't together.

After endlessly announcing me "the thirteenth stepper is here" at meetings of recovery where me and Lar were -these were several. After saying aloud in meetings that someone present was too jelous of them going out with "a guy that one of us knew about" When I had no idea that "anyone was getting cheated on much less cheating- how could "I " be called jelous?

I ended up having a nervous manic breakdown at his house due to added mania from since July 24th when everyone started tearing into both of us publicly at Meetings.
Than He-Lar announced to everyone privately-I was looney-and he didn't know how to stand me-these same people that were "calling me jelious" I can do the math. No one was jelous, someone went crazy for only one night, and Lar went to the mental ward for 2 days after all was over.

Two or more others from the support group successfully stopped a good thing that if left alone would have worked. There it is.

[razeljenny]

Another thing is I am lost in pain. I am not getting my responsibilities met this week. Even this week, when I went to another support group (there were mean people there making me discouraged-not litterally but they picked topics while I was in the restroom that were really offensive to read, such as "the family afterwards," when most know I have been giving Lar plenty of space and not stalking him or phoning him, after his being in the hospital. I feel like they do witchcraft if they can towards me. Such as they side with him and turn on me so to speak. I am just as fragile as he. He paints up better pity stories. I have to stay away from the whole scene. I am just spinning my gears though-sleeping too much, smoking too much not being around anyone, but the teens, and hiding and beating myself up, even though I know I didn't do anything really wrong. I need just as much support and don't feel like I get much support.

[nothemama8]

raz, is it possible that you and Lar's weren't meant to be, if he changed so fast and said these mean things how could he really care, so sorry your going through so much

[cracking_up]

If he doesn't say you're loony in an affectionate tone, it's not meant to be. ((((((razel)))))) You will be fine. Good luck.

[seeker1950]

"Thirteenth stepper" suggests you were becoming involved with someone in a support/recovery group. This is not a good idea, for many reasons, and, thus, the title. Let it go.

[JustAPixie]

(((((((( razeljennie )))))))))

The head and heart never agree...

[razeljenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
seeker1950 said:
"Thirteenth stepper" suggests you were becoming involved with someone in a support/recovery group. This is not a good idea, for many reasons, and, thus, the title. Let it go.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Seeker1950 would there have been a ,"Kosher" way of going to the next heigher level? That was the question?

Highly regular and normal is not my way, but I got hurt by this group harrassment. My (Our, Lar and I ) Inner circle of trust, and committment was total; They like "witches," ended something they shouldn't have.

[razeljenny]

STARTING SOMETHING

Recognized the claws of harrassment.
Group justice
Flame to hurt the non complient
Tearing deeper in the flesh of the excommunicated
Lover leaking out unity and bond
Caught by blind witnesses but not busted
Nailed upon wooden crosses
Gushing water and blood
for them to have a Sacrifice to
The God of Mob Mentality

The victors are not ashamed
Least they be called lover caste
By a group of N-one

Thus no Triune God
Just no one

By Robin Gruzs thirteenth stepster

[razeljenny]

Thanks nothemama8, You are right to say that. Maybe it is so, if he was meant to be, he would have not done that exactly in that way.

(Oh by the way my poem says "No triune God," but in relation to the prose, it means that the people described lacked the Lord, and I was not saying that I do not accept the triune God, who I call Jesus Christ, my savior. I hope I haven't been offensive.)

[seeker1950]

I feel your pain, but you are blaming "connivers" for ending the relationship with you and Lars...He obviously felt acknowledgement or pressure from the group's perspective if he has withdrawn from you. There are good reasons for not becoming involved with someone in a support/recovery 12 step group, and the group obviously voiced this to both of you. I wouldn't call this conniving, but objective criticism.
Patty

[arod13]

(((( raz ))))

[razeljenny]

It really ticks me off when underhandedly other women especially, wreak things that I valued. The bond that Lar and I developed took awhile. for that matter we had been sharing after meetings for over a year. these women did not belong to the group even a year ago. They have no knowledge "truly " of our knowing one another. The past is past and I will not go back.

I am upset at them for the witchy way that they caused mental caos. In other words that information could have been revealed with the right questions, conversations that were to both of us with questions that were direct, instead of gross assumptions, and codependant behaviour on their part, such as brain picking of a guy that was vulnerable and trusting of the entire program, not fullly aware of their alterious motives, wheather they were telling themselves that they were resqueing the guy from soon tragity. Placing doom and gloom and destruction on his mind was witchy and gross. Assuming that the worst was taking place between me and Lar, was evil. It was wrong. It was clever and it worked. Yes it worked. Just because it was very successful dosen't make it best or for that matter right.

It was right of course to the group of women and to Lar in the ending. But it really was not right.

Yes they "Suggest " not getting involved in any relationships thaat are close for a year while you are in the program. But it is a suggestion. We have been in recovery for more than a year. He for a year and me for a year and actually 3 years with a slip here or there. So I wanted to vent.

[Orion70]

The Big Book of alcoholics anonymous says absolutly nothing about waiting a year before you date that is from treatment centers me and my wife met when i had 90 days we fell in love and got married my sponsor was the witness at the ceremony.5 years later were together and sober.
hang in there.