Spouses job means he's away a lot

I'm just wondering if anyone else is in this situation.

We have our issues anyways (crazy ex, me adjusting to step-kids, both have baggage from previous abusers, etc), but is anyone here dealing with having their spouse working for the Federal Gov't. As in security detail, lots of hush hush, investigative, I can't be in on details type of job.

I'm totally ok with him having this job, he loves it, he's happy at it, it's great for us financially, and I know how he got the job so it's good. He used to have a job that allowed him to work from home, Monday-Friday, and we always ALWAYS had the weekends together. Now, not so much.

It's challenging, because it's less time with us together due to he can be called away at any point on assignment, either in the area or out of our area. He finds it hard because it's hard to call me/text me when he's away (he does his best, because he worries about me), and he misses me and the kids.

I already know my personality dictates that I'd be a HORRIBLE military wife, or the type of person that would have to deal with my partner being away for long periods of time. I'm lucky because it's very rarely a week at a time, so that's something I'm super grateful for.

If there are any of you out there, how do you deal with this sort of thing? How do you manage to try to actually plan things to do as a couple when they are called away for work randomly?

I keep thinking once we move from where we are it'll help a lot. We're hoping to move to the outskirts of the city, where we'll have our own home. Right now I have very few friends were I am now, and there is very little to do. Even tho I'm getting MUCH better, weekends are still rough for me once and a while, since the kids are with their mom on the weekends.

My husband and I are currently in a commuter marriage. We've gotten used to the distance though, since we dated long distance for four years while he was getting his degree. His schedule is a little more regular than your husband, though, except when he's about to change contracts. Like right now, we have absolutely no idea where he will be working come Jan. 1st. They've also put his vacation time on hold until they get his contract straightened out. We're trying to plan for Christmas, but we really just don't know. It's tough. We don't have kids yet, though, so that does help. He plans on doing this kind of work for another 4-5 years, and then we'll be in a position to start thinking about children and him looking for a new job.

Each contract varies how much work my husband will have, too. Right now, even when he's home, he's sometimes on-call so we can't really leave the house (he needs to be near a computer). We do try to spend a lot of quality time together when he's home. We go for runs together, go to the zoo, go out for drinks just the two of us. We don't do a lot of advanced planning...more of a "we'll see what happens" "what do you want to do today?" type of deal. It's hard not planning stuff (especially for me, I'm definitely a planner), but I try to focus on my own school work when he's gone so I can enjoy being with him when he's home. I also try to make plans with friends and phone calls and such when he's gone so I don't get lonely.

It's definitely hard, especially since you have a lot of other stuff going on. Wish I had something more to say. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to vent with.