[LateLadyLulu]

So I posted some stuff a little while ago, when things were difficult here at home, today Id love some helpful advice.

My husband had been diagnosed with Schizophrenia recently and of course things have been rocky.

We have been married for 3 years, in those three years we have had a lot of good days, and some ripper fights. Im not a skinny woman, but he knew that when he married me.
He used to be all over me before the diagnosis, and I am aware that the medications can affect that, but the other night we had a massive argument.

You see, it seems like i dont exist most of the time. He doesnt want to touch me, and certainly doesnt seem to desire me.
I asked him why and he said my weight was the issue, that he doesnt find me attractive at all.

So i asked myself what is the point in being in a relationship where my spouse cannot love me for the way I am.
When I said to him that maybe we should look at divorce he said to me that he doesnt see how we cant work this out.

When he had his original episode, he belittled me, telling me that I was Jezabel from the bible, the biblical *****. He threw out all my clothes and forced me to wear size 8 when I was an 18, and proceeded to cast demons from me.

Now dont get me wrong, i understand that was the episode talking, unfortunately now, i feel as if this is a breaking point.
After our argument the other day, he decided to journal his thoughts and feelings for his Psych, that lasted one night. As did his incredibly happy mood.
It was amazing, he was touching me and wanting release.

Its been 3 days and he has stopped all the nice affectionate stuff and I am wondering, will this ever stabalise? Will he ever desire me? Is it really worth putting myself through this when I feel like I am fading away.
I dont want to be one of those couples that only have intercourse once or twice a year, i want children and joy, and love.

Is there any advice out there that can help this? Is this normal? Will he ever want me?

[healingme4me]

Sorry, he's treating you so rotten. As far, as I can find, Schizoid Personality Disorder, is the one that has criteria for "has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person."
Have you, been able to sit, with his doctors, to explain, to you, what his illness entails? And, has your husband, ever brought you with him, to describe, what life is like, within the home? Couples counseling, could help, as this is a recent diagnosis(?).

[LateLadyLulu]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Sorry, he's treating you so rotten. As far, as I can find, Schizoid Personality Disorder, is the one that has criteria for "has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person."
Have you, been able to sit, with his doctors, to explain, to you, what his illness entails? And, has your husband, ever brought you with him, to describe, what life is like, within the home? Couples counseling, could help, as this is a recent diagnosis(?).

I go to all his appointments with him, but he doesnt talk much. keeps it very surface only.
I have researched and studied, but there is nothing quite like getting help from others experiences...

We have talked about couples councelling, and although he says he is interested, he doesnt talk about it at all. In fact when they changed his meds last from lack of testosterone, he said it didnt do anything, but I noticed his personal.. activity had increased, so I know its there he just... doesnt seem to want me, but he doesnt want me to go either..

[River11]

I'm so sorry for where you are, and I'm sorry I don't know anything helpful to offer, except that I feel for how hard and painful and confusing all that would be. And I pray there is breakthrough for you...both

[LateLadyLulu]

Originally Posted by River11

I'm so sorry for where you are, and I'm sorry I don't know anything helpful to offer, except that I feel for how hard and painful and confusing all that would be. And I pray there is breakthrough for you...both

Thank you so very much, it helps being able to vent, and in turn having meaningful responses, thank you for caring enough to respond

[middie]

You are doing a great job......reading your post it must be very difficult for you hearing things like that from someone you love and care for so deeply.....my heart goes out to you.......sending you a big hug xx

[LateLadyLulu]

Originally Posted by middie

You are doing a great job......reading your post it must be very difficult for you hearing things like that from someone you love and care for so deeply.....my heart goes out to you.......sending you a big hug xx

Thanks Middie!

Actually I wanted to update everyone on this post, mostly to say thanks

I decided to take a night of respite in a neighbouring town, it helped so much!
Reminded me how much I love my husband, regardless of the hard stuff, and I was able to do something for me too, I went to the hairdressers and had my hair changed, when I came home, he had been cleaning! it was so wonderful to see him making an effort and I think it helped to realign some of the issues in myself!

So today I am doing well, hoping it stays that way..
Also, we had a psych appointment the other day, they upped his meds to 200mg of seroquel which seems to have made some difference. He said he feels so much more calm which is a positive mood! Here's to hoping it continues!

Thanks so much everyone for the support!

xxx