Ok i have a question about women. Trust me when it comes to females and how their emotions and mnds work, I can safely say I'm pretty clueless. So if this comes off as dumb... so be it. I've already said I'm an idiot with girls so.. don't point that out

Ok so I'm not actively pursuing any women as gfs nor am I really all that keen on having a relationship. Am I against it 100%? no. But I'm just not pushing the issue within my current life. If one comes along and it works out, so be it.. but if not.. I'm fine too.

I know that typically males including myself can misinterpret the things that women say/do and the attention that they give to me. At times I've been known to completely miss the flirting and not even realize it happened until some third party lets me know just how clueless I really am. So I go right along possibly missing a few ladies that may have been interested. yeah I'm bad at reading the female being (yes that's meant as a pun, referring to just how foreign women are to me heh)

So I'm wondering. When a woman is interested in a man for more than just a buddy/confidant/friend, how is a man to know? I know that women will not typically be overt about it and the ones that are probably are not the ones I would want to have anything with anyway... What kinds of things do they say or do? Are there specific cues to say "hey I really like you.." ? The part that is confusing is, women can be sweet and accomodating, at least in my experience, but not mean anything more than "hey you're a nice guy."... but I have a hard time differentiating between that and the "more" kind of comment.

Mind you I'm speaking mostly of women online becuase frankly, I don't do RL meetings with women well. So keep that in mind.

Maybe there's not one single answer but perhaps there are certain things you can tell me to help me understand.

Sorry for rambling.
S4

[FrayedEnds]

hmm...well, I'm a woman and I have no idea if there are any specific cues. I might be almost as interested in reading these replies as you

I just wanted to pipe in about this -

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Trust me when it comes to females and how their emotions and mnds work, I can safely say I'm pretty clueless. So if this comes off as dumb... so be it. I've already said I'm an idiot with girls so.. don't point that out

you are selling yourself way too short. In reading your posts, I find myself agreeing with almost everything you say and being shocked, in a good way, that a male wrote it ( I kid, I kid)

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

you are selling yourself way too short. In reading your posts, I find myself agreeing with almost everything you say and being shocked, in a good way, that a male wrote it ( I kid, I kid)

LOL thank you for saying that. But truth is, the idea that i have no clue about women keeps me in check. Once one feels they know enough, they stop learning and growing and God knows I don't want to reach that point.

[sonnenschein]

As far as I know (18 year old girl) there aren't really any specific cues. As a rule of thumb, usually if she starts making (silly) excuses to spend more time with you, touching you a lot more than usual and/or starting to compliment you more than usual, and this behavior continues for a while, she might like you. But it really varies from woman to woman- can you compare how she acts around you to how she acts around other male friends? If she has any female friends, you can always ask them- they'll usually know. Bonus points if they clear out on group activities with some excuse to leave the two of you alone.

[manwithnofriends]

actually there are some people worse off than you who can't even read others of the same gender. (like me)

Originally Posted by sonnenschein

As far as I know (18 year old girl) there aren't really any specific cues. As a rule of thumb, usually if she starts making (silly) excuses to spend more time with you, touching you a lot more than usual and/or starting to compliment you more than usual, and this behavior continues for a while, she might like you. But it really varies from woman to woman- can you compare how she acts around you to how she acts around other male friends? If she has any female friends, you can always ask them- they'll usually know. Bonus points if they clear out on group activities with some excuse to leave the two of you alone.

Well that all makes sense but how to apply to an online friend?

Here's my example:

(referring to something that happened)
Me: "you're probably mad at me now" - half jokingly, not seriously thinking she's mad.

Her: "I could never be mad at someone as awesome as you." - caught me off guard.

Me: "I'm not awesome, I'm just [my real name] "

Her: "Awesome guy with and awesome name!"

Ok so this is just all in fun, I'm guessing but it caught me off guard. This person waits for me online (we game together) and asks daily if I'm ready for some more of that particular game.

Another one was, as I said to her something related to her comment, "now I feel special" She replied "no need to feel special when you really are special!"

I don't know how to interpret all of that.. it's got me confused and while I'm really not worried about it either way, she's fun and I enjoy her company regardless, it is enought to make me curious.

Idk maybe I'm sharing too much. Sorry for being a perpetual noob with women.

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

actually there are some people worse off than you who can't even read others of the same gender. (like me)

I don't see it as you being worse off. We all have challenges my friend. That's what makes us all different. Thing is, you have a certain set of obstacles you have to learn to cope with and get around. Don't ever think that you're bad off for something like that.

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Ok i have a question about women. Trust me when it comes to females and how their emotions and mnds work, I can safely say I'm pretty clueless. So if this comes off as dumb... so be it. I've already said I'm an idiot with girls so.. don't point that out

Ok so I'm not actively pursuing any women as gfs nor am I really all that keen on having a relationship. Am I against it 100%? no. But I'm just not pushing the issue within my current life. If one comes along and it works out, so be it.. but if not.. I'm fine too.

I know that typically males including myself can misinterpret the things that women say/do and the attention that they give to me. At times I've been known to completely miss the flirting and not even realize it happened until some third party lets me know just how clueless I really am. So I go right along possibly missing a few ladies that may have been interested. yeah I'm bad at reading the female being (yes that's meant as a pun, referring to just how foreign women are to me heh)

So I'm wondering. When a woman is interested in a man for more than just a buddy/confidant/friend, how is a man to know? I know that women will not typically be overt about it and the ones that are probably are not the ones I would want to have anything with anyway... What kinds of things do they say or do? Are there specific cues to say "hey I really like you.." ? The part that is confusing is, women can be sweet and accomodating, at least in my experience, but not mean anything more than "hey you're a nice guy."... but I have a hard time differentiating between that and the "more" kind of comment.

Mind you I'm speaking mostly of women online becuase frankly, I don't do RL meetings with women well. So keep that in mind.

Maybe there's not one single answer but perhaps there are certain things you can tell me to help me understand.

Sorry for rambling.
S4

The only thing I can say is when I'm interested in someone, what I used to do before I met my boyfriend was a double look. I'd make eye contact with a guy, look away, then look and lock eyes again. If she does that, she's interested. Playing with her hair usually means it too.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[wife22]

It is true about second glance,but that can be done on purpose and not be sincere also,now playing with hair or tucking them behind ear,touching them are more unintentional gestures,signifying interest and sometimes insecurity. But there are many women who successfully control their emotions. So, in real life it is tough, in depersonalzsed world of computers it is tougher.Go for real life where you can judge by their body language

[Trippin2.0]

She seems quite friendly and possibly even flirty I can't say for sure, but emoticons would give me a better clue actually...

From my personal archives, the ONLY time I am that friendly and not romantically interested is if we already have a close confidante like friendship going.

I take it you 2 don't and that she is possibly into you.

My honest advice?

If you 2 live within driving distance, ask her to check out some gaming thingamabob with you.
A casual outing garnered on a mutual interest is a stress free way to meet up, no pressure on either of you. This way you get to check if there's any "vibes" she's giving off, possible chemistry and taking mental notes of her body language.

Then report back and give us more info

Better yet, she may be able to be more clear with you in person and you either have the beginnings of a great friendship, a life long love story, or both!

Just think about it, she may feel weird about telling an internet guy she likes him, but may be more forthcoming after meeting you in person.

I know I would atleast...

S4 she seems to like you, how much none of us know, but if you don't try and persue what may be a hint, she may just slip away unbeknownst to you, because she herself doesn't know how to hint harder without looking creepy.

Like you said, if it happens it does, if it doesn't, so be it, you've got nothing to lose, all she will say is yes or no.

[albert.anthony81]

I will tell you, buddy, from my 10 years experience in the world of women (female relatives, roommates, co-workers, dates, romantic partners, etc) that the modern woman, especially in America, is very driven by personal success.. but only in relation to that which pleases her near friends & family/parents, and how she perceives she is "supposed to be" as programmed by the modern media, which is also programming her friends the same way.

Of course I am not generalizing, but talking about the Majority of girls I have dealt with. Very diet-obsessed, obsessed about their weight alot even if they are skinny, very loyal to a fault with their close circle of friends, very loyal to a gay best friend who they see as a brother, eager to please their parents and usually very close to the parents, very loving to their Pets, loyal to their alma mater and their Company, eager to please the boss and move up the corporate ladder, and after work is quick to jump on the treadmill.. again to please said friends who really don't even care if she is fat.

So how do you(or I) as a guy fit in to this new dynamic of female? Well... my advice is to become part of her inner "circle" that she holds dear. She will NEVER EVER EVER put you before her "circle".. you are just a guy to her.. But, if you are already part of that circle and her friends accept you, she will believe her friends over you anyday, and through them you can get to her!

It is a proven fact. Stop chasing her.. impress her friends and they will lead her to you.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

I will tell you, buddy, from my 10 years experience in the world of women (female relatives, roommates, co-workers, dates, romantic partners, etc) that the modern woman, especially in America, is very driven by personal success.. but only in relation to that which pleases her near friends & family/parents, and how she perceives she is "supposed to be" as programmed by the modern media, which is also programming her friends the same way.

Of course I am not generalizing, but talking about the Majority of girls I have dealt with. Very diet-obsessed, obsessed about their weight alot even if they are skinny, very loyal to a fault with their close circle of friends, very loyal to a gay best friend who they see as a brother, eager to please their parents and usually very close to the parents, very loving to their Pets, loyal to their alma mater and their Company, eager to please the boss and move up the corporate ladder, and after work is quick to jump on the treadmill.. again to please said friends who really don't even care if she is fat.

So how do you(or I) as a guy fit in to this new dynamic of female? Well... my advice is to become part of her inner "circle" that she holds dear. She will NEVER EVER EVER put you before her "circle".. you are just a guy to her.. But, if you are already part of that circle and her friends accept you, she will believe her friends over you anyday, and through them you can get to her!

It is a proven fact. Stop chasing her.. impress her friends and they will lead her to you.

This buddy of mine S4 over here has been MARRIED twice, I think he's way more qualified than you on the subject of women. Clearly you failed to read again, he doesn't know her friends. Gawd

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

I will tell you, buddy, from my 10 years experience in the world of women (female relatives, roommates, co-workers, dates, romantic partners, etc) that the modern woman, especially in America, is very driven by personal success.. but only in relation to that which pleases her near friends & family/parents, and how she perceives she is "supposed to be" as programmed by the modern media, which is also programming her friends the same way.

Of course I am not generalizing, but talking about the Majority of girls I have dealt with. Very diet-obsessed, obsessed about their weight alot even if they are skinny, very loyal to a fault with their close circle of friends, very loyal to a gay best friend who they see as a brother, eager to please their parents and usually very close to the parents, very loving to their Pets, loyal to their alma mater and their Company, eager to please the boss and move up the corporate ladder, and after work is quick to jump on the treadmill.. again to please said friends who really don't even care if she is fat.

So how do you(or I) as a guy fit in to this new dynamic of female? Well... my advice is to become part of her inner "circle" that she holds dear. She will NEVER EVER EVER put you before her "circle".. you are just a guy to her.. But, if you are already part of that circle and her friends accept you, she will believe her friends over you anyday, and through them you can get to her!

It is a proven fact. Stop chasing her.. impress her friends and they will lead her to you.

ummm what? Wasn't really asking for an interpretation of the "modern woman" there is no such thing. Women are unique and sure they fit into certain groups but as such, many varying groups just like men. There is no single answer to whatever question it seems you're responding to. Really if that is your experience you're looking at the wrong women and sure if you go for the ones in the groups you seem to be attracted to, quite possibly in your remote bubble of a world this may be the case. Quit looking at those women and find ones that fit your criteria but from your posts, I'll be honest, I think it will be hard find for you.

"quit chasing her" Dude have you read THAT many "pick up artist" articles and now you believe them? That sound like something straight out of one of them. "impress her friends" ? That just sounds so off.

on top of it all I wasn't asking for advice on how to pick up or meet women! I was asking for help with interpreting her actions/her mannerisms and whether they mean anything or nothing at all.

Did you even read my post?

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

She seems quite friendly and possibly even flirty I can't say for sure, but emoticons would give me a better clue actually...

From my personal archives, the ONLY time I am that friendly and not romantically interested is if we already have a close confidante like friendship going.

I take it you 2 don't and that she is possibly into you.

My honest advice?

If you 2 live within driving distance, ask her to check out some gaming thingamabob with you.
A casual outing garnered on a mutual interest is a stress free way to meet up, no pressure on either of you. This way you get to check if there's any "vibes" she's giving off, possible chemistry and taking mental notes of her body language.

Then report back and give us more info

Better yet, she may be able to be more clear with you in person and you either have the beginnings of a great friendship, a life long love story, or both!

Just think about it, she may feel weird about telling an internet guy she likes him, but may be more forthcoming after meeting you in person.

I know I would atleast...

S4 she seems to like you, how much none of us know, but if you don't try and persue what may be a hint, she may just slip away unbeknownst to you, because she herself doesn't know how to hint harder without looking creepy.

Like you said, if it happens it does, if it doesn't, so be it, you've got nothing to lose, all she will say is yes or no.

Thanks so much for your reply. You make some very good points. She lives in another country and that, across an ocean so.. if I ever did meet her I better know she's into me FIRST! heh.

I'm honestly not expecting anything out of it, but it would be nice if it were true that she did like me.

She does use emoticons quite often, including and even (and not seriously of course but being sweet) said "I love you!" lol it was after I did something nice for her so it was in reference to that but still it was cute.

Also she said something I think mattered a bit last night. "you always crack me up" IIRC being funny to a girl is a definite plus, amirite?

[FrayedEnds]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Also she said something I think mattered a bit last night. "you always crack me up" IIRC being funny to a girl is a definite plus, amirite?

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Thanks so much for your reply. You make some very good points. She lives in another country and that, across an ocean so.. if I ever did meet her I better know she's into me FIRST! heh.

I'm honestly not expecting anything out of it, but it would be nice if it were true that she did like me.

She does use emoticons quite often, including and even (and not seriously of course but being sweet) said "I love you!" lol it was after I did something nice for her so it was in reference to that but still it was cute.

Also she said something I think mattered a bit last night. "you always crack me up" IIRC being funny to a girl is a definite plus, amirite?

According to emoticons, if this was me on the other side of the screen, I would definitly be flirting with you

Whoop whoop, Go S4!!!

Another country huh? Well then there's no rush, me thinks, unless she's interested in citizenship.

Keep talking to her and see where it goes, you never know, until you know....

[RomanSunburn]

I agree with Trippin. Girl be flirtin'. And even if she's just joking when she says she loves you, I highly doubt she's doing that to every guy she meets.

Across an ocean is difficult. But do-able. But, again, like Trippin said, no need to rush.

And, hey, don't sell yourself short. Your responses to threads on this forum are pretty great. You know a lot more than you think you do.

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

I agree with Trippin. Girl be flirtin'. And even if she's just joking when she says she loves you, I highly doubt she's doing that to every guy she meets.

Across an ocean is difficult. But do-able. But, again, like Trippin said, no need to rush.

And, hey, don't sell yourself short. Your responses to threads on this forum are pretty great. You know a lot more than you think you do.

O.O "girl be flirtin'" ? really? I was playing the assassin dude in Borderlands 2 today and I showed her his power and she goes "woo sexy" O.O maybe you're right. Or maybe she just thinks the game character is sexy? Idk.

Well I'm in no hurry for anything. I do enjoy the idea of any female finding me interesting, and attractive to them though. Who wouldn't?

Thanks for your encouraging words

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

According to emoticons, if this was me on the other side of the screen, I would definitly be flirting with you

Whoop whoop, Go S4!!!

Another country huh? Well then there's no rush, me thinks, unless she's interested in citizenship.

Keep talking to her and see where it goes, you never know, until you know....

Well she LIVES in Japan but is not Japanese. Not sure if she's a citizen or not of that country. I'd totally travel for any girl that was serious with me though so that's not an issue.. but yeah nothing to rush either.

[Confusedinomicon]

Is she teaching? In the military? Going to school?

Japan has some of the strictest citizenship laws which means she's probably not going to stay there permanently. I wouldn't worry too much and have fun. Right now I would focus on the friendship and later deal with feelings. I've lost friends online before because of issues with expectations.

[MarlboroChick]

Uhhmm Im not sure about specific things. Leaning in, focusing on you a lot, catching her staring. If she's really interested in you and asking a lot of questions, laughing at your jokes even if they arent funny....
I think body language is the key thing. Women arent THAT different from men in a lot of ways, just pay attention to whether they seem engaged with you or not.

Online...I would just put yourself out there and tell her you really like her, that you think she's great in X way, and see how she replies. Worst case scenario, she doesnt like you back.

[Hedocakes]

Have you tried asking her?

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Is she teaching? In the military? Going to school?

Japan has some of the strictest citizenship laws which means she's probably not going to stay there permanently. I wouldn't worry too much and have fun. Right now I would focus on the friendship and later deal with feelings. I've lost friends online before because of issues with expectations.

thanks, no she doesn't teach or anything. She was moved there and has been there since childhood. So maybe she is a citizen but yeah.. idk right now.

As for just being friends. That's all it is right now. Not worried or anything. if she takes things to a different level then I'll start thinking about it

Originally Posted by MarlboroChick

Uhhmm Im not sure about specific things. Leaning in, focusing on you a lot, catching her staring. If she's really interested in you and asking a lot of questions, laughing at your jokes even if they arent funny....
I think body language is the key thing. Women arent THAT different from men in a lot of ways, just pay attention to whether they seem engaged with you or not.

Online...I would just put yourself out there and tell her you really like her, that you think she's great in X way, and see how she replies. Worst case scenario, she doesnt like you back.

yeah I don't want to put that out there right now. Could mess up what we have already.

Originally Posted by Hedocakes

Have you tried asking her?

No I'm not ready to do that... We have a good, casual fun relationship right now. don't want to lose that by breaching the subject now.