how long?!?

So last night I went to see a concert by Black Francis (front man for the Pixies). I was there by myself. I was sitting at home with nothing to do and just decided to get up off my *** and go do something. I was happy that I actually got the nerve and motivation to go out and do something. As I walk in the door I see a woman (and her husband) whom I was madly in love with. I couldn't believe how hard it was being there, knowing she was there too. Thankfully she didn't see me and I was able to stay far away (I guess that's a good thing). It has been over two years since she dumped me. She's now married, has a totally different life. How long is this going to effect me? It made me so angry at myself for feeling that way. I've thought I was over her for the longest time, but my feelings tell me otherwise. It's poisoning my mind and it would almost certainly poison any new relationship I might happen to get in. Damn it!

There is only one way for you to forget this girl and that is by starting a new life and by meeting someone else. Dwelling on the past in not really a good idea especially if this girl is married now. I know you can't shut out your feelings in a day but at least you can start looking into the future. Don't keep looking into the past. I wish I could help you more.

That's the thing though. I don't really dwell on her. Normally I almost never think of her. I haven't seen her but once in the last year. That's why I was so astounded at how intensely bad I felt.

Yes, I think as Domino says, you'll get over her when you get a new girlfriend. That's what happened to me with my boyfriend who wouldn't see me anymore, I was in a bad depression, even after meeting/starting to work for my husband (the new, interesting job was not enough without social connections yet). It took awhile before my life changed enough and new things pulled me away from the old. We moved last summer after being in our home for 20 years because I had a few things ending and I wanted to make sure I "started over" well. Has taken me pretty much until now to be "comfortable." Join a group/club or do something different, socially, so you'll meet some new people and get something new going.

These are good responses, and good advice. Since you say you hardly ever think of her in real life now, it sounds like you are ready to move on. If you were still, in fact, dwelling on her, then that would indicate you need to do some recovery work and healing before attempting a new relationship. This does not seem to be the case with you. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that you saw her at the concert. Good for you for going out!
I know from experience that one must heal before attempting to become involved with another romance. It's unfair to the person you are meeting and trying to get to know, but going out socially and meeting people is a good thing, and sounds like you're ready !
Patty