I know this has got to get tiring for you all to listen to but honestly I don't really have any other place to vent or bounce ideas off people. And you're all so nice and supportive so if you want me to stop, stop being so accommodating

So I am not at all sure of myself as you all have picked up. Well I'm sure of myself in certain isolated ways but not with people, and especially not the ladies, as you've surely already surmised. The latest experiences are no exception.

So everything seemed ok at the time, when I posted my last reply to the last thread about doubting. We talked, she waited for me to get home and then we started playing one of our games. Granted, we played from about 7 pm til possibly 1 am in a stretch, but you know I have a wild imagination.

In the midst of it, earlier she left, said brb and came back. She said "sorry I had to eat.. " and that's no big deal. We played for some time more and I left for a bit to chat with someone on fb and came back etc.. this goes on all night back and forth. Pretty normal stuff. At one point, after she left and came back I asked if she was ready to start again (continuing where we left off) and she said "yep" and literally disappeared after a few seconds. her character in game remained stationary. It seemed like an hour. I'm not sure exactly how long.. long story short when she got back there was no explanation offered or anything, just "sorry" I even asked what happened and it was almost as though the meaning of the question was totally missed and she didn't reply directly. Which is odd. Odd because she never does that. :/

It bothered me for awhile, because most times when people go away like that there's a reason and they usually will say what it was if asked or explain that they don't want to say so. Something anyway... The kicker last night was that at 1 am she acted out of character again. Let me add first that all night she'd been pausing, her character would lag behind because obviously she was doing something else. AT the end of the night she said at about 1:00 am, well I will have to stop here. That's it. Said "I will be back, but will you be asleep?" and I told her probably if it takes awhile. She said "I will play with you again tomorrow and we will have more fun." or something to that effect.

Considering that she's usually very upfront with what she's doing or what not, it was weird that she left no explanation and on top of that it typically has not been her that cuts off gaming but me, as I usually end up saying I have to go to bed. So that was a first and without an explanation God knows, all kinds of imaginary things have gone through my head...

Resisting the urge to ask her if anything's wrong, since I don't want to come off weird and needy and I know it would. Also resisting the urge to just say "eff it" and quit the whole damn thing. Attempting to stay offline for the day. Just stay off and keep to myself, although that's not the easiest thing to do. My brain's saying "yeah well she's not going to notice anyway"

So meh. Thanks for listening. I realize I'm thinking things that I have no solid evidence of but it's very real in my mind. I'm sure some of you know exactly waht I mean.

Thanks
~S4

I think I've gone through similar thoughts with the guy I've been pursuing (the whole not replying to texts, even a day or two later and the whole not talking to me unless I talk to him first) so I understand how it feels.

In my case, I went with the "eff it" option, but I don't know if that would necessarily be the best option in your case.

You have someone to play video games with…maybe that's all it should be for now. Sorry I don't have any more insightful advice...

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

I think I've gone through similar thoughts with the guy I've been pursuing (the whole not replying to texts, even a day or two later and the whole not talking to me unless I talk to him first) so I understand how it feels.

In my case, I went with the "eff it" option, but I don't know if that would necessarily be the best option in your case.

You have someone to play video games with…maybe that's all it should be for now. Sorry I don't have any more insightful advice...

No your thoughts are helpful. I appreciate them.

On another note I let her know that I might be offline for the most part and when she asked why I told her I thought maybe i was taking too much of her time and days. Really I have worried that I'm smothering her. so yeah.

She came back with "Nuh ~ You worry too much, there is nobody else who is more interesting than you to be honest so I do not mind at all."

[FrayedEnds]

I overthink everything so I can totally relate. ( that is also a disclaimer )
But is it possible she's acting out of character so that you mention it? I totally get why you don't want to come off as needy by asking her what's wrong...but what if she's wanting to know that you're concerned?

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

I overthink everything so I can totally relate. ( that is also a disclaimer )
But is it possible she's acting out of character so that you mention it? I totally get why you don't want to come off as needy by asking her what's wrong...but what if she's wanting to know that you're concerned?

That's an interesting point too. I tend to err on the side of caution in this area though.. maybe I've lost a few possible girlfriends for not doing so but who knows.

[hannabee]

I think I agree with Frayed....This has been going on for some time now (months you said), so maybe she wants to know how you feel...if you're thinking what she is thinking, that she wants to be more than friends? Does she live anywhere near you? Have you two ever talked about meeting? IDK, for me, after this much flirting I would want to meet. Yes, I would probably have anxiety about it, but I'd still be moving towards that end. Is that your ultimate goal..to meet IRL?

[hannabee]

P.S. I think staying offline today will totally be sending the wrong message. IMO

Originally Posted by hannabee

P.S. I think staying offline today will totally be sending the wrong message. IMO

Well I did tell her that I was doing that and when she replied I did say i would be on again later...

You think there's that much flirting going on really? I don't read this stuff well so even when I think it is or it feel like it I talk myself out of it being anything real. Yeah I'm a real yoyo with women.

Originally Posted by hannabee

I think I agree with Frayed....This has been going on for some time now (months you said), so maybe she wants to know how you feel...if you're thinking what she is thinking, that she wants to be more than friends? Does she live anywhere near you? Have you two ever talked about meeting? IDK, for me, after this much flirting I would want to meet. Yes, I would probably have anxiety about it, but I'd still be moving towards that end. Is that your ultimate goal..to meet IRL?

Is it my goal to meet her one day? Absolutely. She is not local but traveling far for someone isn't a far stretch for me, if the person is right.

[hannabee]

I doubt she would be referring to you as "sexy" and not consider that flirting. She seems to be attracted to you and if she is disappearing and you are not showing any interest, she is getting the wrong message from you, the message that you are "not that into her"...I'm sure you've heard that one before.

Originally Posted by hannabee

I doubt she would be referring to you as "sexy" and not consider that flirting. She seems to be attracted to you and if she is disappearing and you are not showing any interest, she is getting the wrong message from you, the message that you are "not that into her"...I'm sure you've heard that one before.

yeah true. I'm back online, she seems to be happy about that so

[arachnophobia.kid]

To me it seems like it would be good for you to communicate with her about all the things that you're talking to us about. Communication in relationships is so important but unfortunately at the early stages, communication is kind of fuzzy since you're still sort of playing games right? But ultimately you want to be with someone who knows you well and someone you can feel safe to share all these feelings with. I think if you tell her about this stuff you'll find some peace and also probably start to find out whether or not this relationship has longevity. She'll be able to tell you what's actually going on, for better or for worse, but at least you won't have to always be guessing and doubting.

Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid

To me it seems like it would be good for you to communicate with her about all the things that you're talking to us about. Communication in relationships is so important but unfortunately at the early stages, communication is kind of fuzzy since you're still sort of playing games right? But ultimately you want to be with someone who knows you well and someone you can feel safe to share all these feelings with. I think if you tell her about this stuff you'll find some peace and also probably start to find out whether or not this relationship has longevity. She'll be able to tell you what's actually going on, for better or for worse, but at least you won't have to always be guessing and doubting.

I agree, but easier said than done. Something to work on though. Thanks for your reply it's helpful

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I know this has got to get tiring for you all to listen to but honestly I don't really have any other place to vent or bounce ideas off people. And you're all so nice and supportive so if you want me to stop, stop being so accommodating

So I am not at all sure of myself as you all have picked up. Well I'm sure of myself in certain isolated ways but not with people, and especially not the ladies, as you've surely already surmised. The latest experiences are no exception.

So everything seemed ok at the time, when I posted my last reply to the last thread about doubting. We talked, she waited for me to get home and then we started playing one of our games. Granted, we played from about 7 pm til possibly 1 am in a stretch, but you know I have a wild imagination.

In the midst of it, earlier she left, said brb and came back. She said "sorry I had to eat.. " and that's no big deal. We played for some time more and I left for a bit to chat with someone on fb and came back etc.. this goes on all night back and forth. Pretty normal stuff. At one point, after she left and came back I asked if she was ready to start again (continuing where we left off) and she said "yep" and literally disappeared after a few seconds. her character in game remained stationary. It seemed like an hour. I'm not sure exactly how long.. long story short when she got back there was no explanation offered or anything, just "sorry" I even asked what happened and it was almost as though the meaning of the question was totally missed and she didn't reply directly. Which is odd. Odd because she never does that. :/

It bothered me for awhile, because most times when people go away like that there's a reason and they usually will say what it was if asked or explain that they don't want to say so. Something anyway... The kicker last night was that at 1 am she acted out of character again. Let me add first that all night she'd been pausing, her character would lag behind because obviously she was doing something else. AT the end of the night she said at about 1:00 am, well I will have to stop here. That's it. Said "I will be back, but will you be asleep?" and I told her probably if it takes awhile. She said "I will play with you again tomorrow and we will have more fun." or something to that effect.

Considering that she's usually very upfront with what she's doing or what not, it was weird that she left no explanation and on top of that it typically has not been her that cuts off gaming but me, as I usually end up saying I have to go to bed. So that was a first and without an explanation God knows, all kinds of imaginary things have gone through my head...

Resisting the urge to ask her if anything's wrong, since I don't want to come off weird and needy and I know it would. Also resisting the urge to just say "eff it" and quit the whole damn thing. Attempting to stay offline for the day. Just stay off and keep to myself, although that's not the easiest thing to do. My brain's saying "yeah well she's not going to notice anyway"

So meh. Thanks for listening. I realize I'm thinking things that I have no solid evidence of but it's very real in my mind. I'm sure some of you know exactly waht I mean.

Thanks
~S4

How about, 'hey, you seem busy?' I've been learning, you reach a point, where the other one can disappear for hours, (going on 2 hours, this stretch--had to double check text times, for sake of this reply to this post), without rhyme or reason. I, personally, have a couple guesses, as to where mine 'disappeared' to. Something, seemingly out of character, can be a bit unsettling, for instance, either the call where we say goodnight or the text. Different time zones. Once, I totally fell asleep, once he did the same. It's little things, like that, when long distance, and newly forming, that play on the mind. But, seems, completely, 'normal'.

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