Me and My Shadow

We all have our own path to blaze in life, but I have a relative that follows me around like a ghost. However, I'm reserved and they're flamboyant, so the net effect is that everyone sees them and I'm canceled out. It seems to be their goal in life to cancel out anything that's unique to me. Instead of chasing their own goals, they just want to rub me out. It's like a dog digging up another dog's doggy bone then prancing around the neighborhood with the bone proudly on display.

...so, I take it that you don't like being perceived as being "reserved"? I'm not sure how you can be "canceled out" by someone just because they have a different personality than you do. Are you concerned that other people won't like you because you're reserved and they'll like your relative because they're more of an extrovert?

Help me out here.

[quote=danvb;3452997I'm not sure how you can be "canceled out" by someone just because they have a different personality than you do.[/quote]

Everyone but me has their own path in life, like that Sinatra song "I did it my way". Other relatives have their own occupations, goals, interests and locations that aren't of any real interest to this relative. My path they claim as their own. All your base are belong to us. I guess they admire my taste buds. Because of our different dispositions and their routine of correcting or refuting whatever I say, I deal with them on friendly basis and want them to have a good life but with no desire to share much time together. However, we may rather "coincidentally" live in the same city sometime soon. They've lived in every city that I've lived in although I've moved around.

But, you are walking your own path in life... Perhaps you just don't recognize it as such? Maybe I'm not understanding you. I'm not sure.

The path you walk is yours to walk and no one can take it away from you. It's YOUR life experience and that can't denied... It is what it is. The quest is for you to learn to let your path lead you to places you want to go... The only thing that others may do is lead you astray and away from the direction you want to go... It is up to you to learn to find your way back so you may continue on the path to personal growth and knowledge...

But then, I'm probably not understanding what you mean by "Everyone but me has their own path in life".

Seemingly everything that's meaningful to me is also meaningful to them although they're outspoken about it. If you make a list of my beliefs, goals and so forth, then place their list alongside, the duplication is uncanny. Other relatives, other people all have their own goals. When we were younger, they spoke of their own goals, where they wanted to move to, their own image which I didn't ascribe to and candidly had my share of laughs to myself regarding. We used to be quite different. Having a fellow traveler through life isn't bad in itself, but it becomes bad when you get it to relationship dynamics. Because of how we relate, I prefer to keep them at arms length. They're leading me astray from my path by performing a blocking action, making the path their own. It's like two dogs vying for a doggy bone when there's a million other doggy bones that dog #2 could be chasing after. I don't like to always have to be the dog that moves on to another bone. Why not just share the bone? Well, maybe it's just me, but they act like the bone is originally theirs and I'm the usurper, that I'm a follower doing it their way, contrary to the Sinatra song.

I think I understand what you're trying to relate. Interestingly enougth, it sounds very much like jealousy... sort of.

Let me get this straight...There are things that are meaningful to you: goals, beliefs, ideas, activities, etc. Those things are important to you. You identify with them. You see them as things your own unique personal traits or characteristics. But now, other people around you are also claiming those same things as their own when they didn't before. I'm having a hard time understanding still.

I don't know. Perhaps if you could give me more actual specifics and less analogy I might get it through my thick head. I KNOW this isn't about dog bones. But what specifically is this about? Is it possible for you to just relate what's actually happening instead of trying to use descriptions that can be interpreted a lot of different ways?

Talk to me. I'm interested in understanding. I'm afraid that I'm just one of those people who need to get a clear picture in my head before I can form an opinion. Right now that picture is pretty fuzzy.

Think about the jealousy thing though. Is that even close to what's going on?

Dan