what attracts men in women?

When my wife and I were joking and laughing this morning before we got out of bed, something else occurred to me that I didn't put on my list of things that attracts me to a woman. I Love a woman with a well developed, diverse sense of humor. I Love being with a woman that can be clever and funny and witty. I Love a woman that can understand and appreciate my weird sense of humor and STILL think I'm funny. I Love a woman who doesn't take herself too seriously and can laugh without feeling self conscious and without restraint. I Love a woman who can laugh and joke and be playful in bed... Yeah. That's really important to me... AND, I really should stop here before I start bearing my soul to the world any more than I already have!

Dan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. u are beautiful inside and out; we all are.

I get "sexual" offers... turned each of them all down., even my ex. I need someone who
looks inside and sees "me" , not what I can give them.

You are describing the woman you love) it is so nice, I lost my faith in love but looking at what you writing here gives me hope) I hope guys are not just looking for "looks" it's just I was reading a book one day that explains that by nature man is seeking a healthy beautiful woman for him, when a woman is seeking for a strong and protective partner. These days I don't know what men wants/needs, life became harder and sociality forces us to be INDEPENDENT, we learn how to survive on our own because we afraid to depend on someone, because that someone might/will leave. To be married and start having a family in twenties isn't as common as it used to be 10 years ago. Now a woman wants to have a career, man wants to have experience and money, women prefer to have kids later so they could have some time for themselves. I am scared to live in this world. Every time I see a couple that commit to each other and and do their best to work on love, I want to applause!

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I just stop looking, saves me the headache.

All men are different. I can only tell you what attracts me to some women more then others. I am a sucker for blue eyes, I don't care if it's a blond or brunette, blue eyes is definitely gonna get my attention. But it is not a deal breaker! I've also been hypnotized by brunettes too! Color of skin is not a factor for me, nor ethnic background. At least when it comes to women, I have few minoirty male friends but when it comes to women, I just don't care

Personality is also important. No matter how hot a woman may look, if she has a rotten personality that will kill it for me. So yes, personality is important to me.

I don't really care what kind of clothes she wears or what religion she is or even if she is a atheist. I don't care what political party she is. The first attraction for me is the eyes, and then the personality.

well i am sure you have read a bunch of things about your thread.... well here is the truth.... no matter the age, #1) CONFIDENCE is your number one contributor that makes people take interest. But i don't mean, hey i feel good today type of stuff. I mean you are PROUD to be you, Happy in your own skin, Wouldn't be anyone else ever type of confidence. Without being arrogant. . #2) Keeping yourself very well dressed... Not meaning spending thousands of dollars but just take pride in your appearance (which will also contribute to your confidence boost) don't dress slutty, you want a potential relationship... not a one way ticket to the bedroom... a little sexy isn't bad but there is a fine line between sexy and trashy respect yourself and everyone else will too!!! . #3) Being outgoing. nobody wants to chill with the girl who would rather sit by herself because she cant be social. Never be afraid to have fun and learn to laugh at yourself. life inst sooo serious 24/7. Being intelligent means nothing without a good sense of humor to make you well rounded. #4) DRAMA, people like to be happy not hear about other peoples problems all the time. its always good to talk about it BUT there's a time and a place. not at social functions... #5) Don't be a follower, but don't be a control freak either. y ou live by your rules, but respect how others are too. and last but not least...#6) Never chase the person. If you can apply everything Ive said... you wont need to chase. however, when you do chase it shows the other person they have the power. the power to brush you off or let you in WHEN THEY WANT...!!! show them by action, that you like talking and being around them but utilize your space to show them you can live just fine without them... it makes the other person respect you more, and if they want to talk to you it wont be just you calling them, they will put the effort in too...!!! This all can be done with little effort and when you do it long enpough you eventually wont notice, it will just be apart of you... your not changing who you are... your just choosing to live a better life!!!! Danvb has a really good list too... but i see his stuff as very good but most after you found the person to start the relationship.... If you are looking to get on the dating scene i think you will find what i know helpful...
people on here may disagree, but i have lived this breathed this and i have never ever, had an issue with having someone take interest.

Best answer I got so far) thank you for honesty. Gotta admit it's hard to be an independent woman these days, but I will never again depend on a man like it happened with my ex. I definitely learned my lessons, my only one problem seems to be to bring my confidence back after what he did to me.

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Oh! I'm sorry. Maybe I misinterpreted the original question of the topic. I guess I thought of the meaning of "attracts" in a broader sense. I didn't equate "attract" with dating and "initial pursuit". I guess that perhaps since it's been multiple decades since I found myself in pursuit of a new relationship, that definition of "attracts" didn't cross my mind. So, in that regard, the term "attracts" may mean something slightly different to me. I suppose that SOME of the attributes I listed are things that initially drew me to the woman that I finally married. However, ALL them are things that still keep me attracted to her... as well as many more things she's done over the years that makes me admire and love her all the more.

OH!... OH!... I just thought of ANOTHER thing that REALLY attracts me to a woman... I need to ADMIRE her. Oh... that's HUGE!!!... HUGE! Actually, I don't know why I didn't think of that to put it on my original list! Yes, that's definitely a major deal-breaker right there. If I don't INITIALLY admire the woman, sorry. I'm not drawn to her. I'm not attracted. Yeah... admiration. I LOVE admiring a woman. I NEED to admire a woman in order to be attracted to her. (Not worship. To worship a woman is really unhealthy, IMO) No, I need to feel impressed by WHO SHE IS INSIDE! Perhaps that's why admiration is such a big deal to me. Who a person truly is INSIDE is not something that can be faked or manipulated or altered. I don't know... but this thought just occurred to me. I think perhaps admiration is just something that a person has to feel inside themselves. It's something that's intuitive, not something that you have to THINK about. I dunno. Maybe I'm just rambling here now... Huh! Interesting thought though... I guess I'll have to sit and mull on that for a spell...

Ha! That really tickles me that that popped into this empty little head of mine! It makes me smile when I think about how much I admire my other, better half!!!

Dan

It does play a role in my book but it's also not an end all either. She could be glamorously beautiful and I might want nothing to do with her and she could be relatively plain and be the sweetest, thing and I might be all into her. so it's a preference but not a requirement for me.

... Hmmm... I just read my last post here.

Gosh, it sure does seem like I talk about how I feel about my wife an awful lot... both here as well as on other threads, doesn't it...

Huh. Maybe I should rethink that a bit...

OP, IMO it's subjective. I know it may not help but it's the best answer I can give.

For me, I generally value ambition, drive, a good nature, as much as looks (well 50% looks, 50% personality).

I also have a strong preference for women of Indian descent (Asia not native American) so this is a factor also.

I think though that like meets like, so a person should tailor what they like to match their desired goal. I consider myself ambitious with drive and a generally good nature, so this complements who I am.

I like most of what you've said, although everythign is subjective.. the best one is the "confidence" part.

The one I've quoted though is quite out of place here. You can't really make an introvert an extrovert, either yourself or someone else. Being outgoing is also not necessarily the most attractive thing I find in women either. A quiet, shy type of girl can be very attractive IMO. But.. that being said let's get back to the confidence part. A shy girl or I should say reserved, conservative girl can still be a very confident one and that is what shows. By outgoing it implies you have to be a social butterfly and not everyone is like that.

To elaborate on waht i think here, Confidence is definitely important and it will show through no matter what your personality. Don't go out of your way trying to be outgoing if you're not an outgoing person, otherwise you'll come off as fake more than anything and at some point the guy's gonna be like "who did I get together with here?" when your true colors come through and you inevitably go back into your shell.

Other than that pretty good information. Again though, it's all subjective and depends on the guy looking.

This is just what I prefer in women so take it for what it's worth ... about 2 cents and a thimble-full of bellybutton lint:

1. Independence. I prefer a woman that wants me around as opposed to needing me around.
2. Intelligence. Because it's nice to be able to talk and not have to explain the toilet humor on Family Guy.
3. Kindness. Because being an obnoxious b^%$# to everyone around you is completely unattractive.
4. Toughness. This goes along with independence because I'll jump right in the middle of someone trying to abuse or take advantage of a woman, but it's more fun to pull her off of them.
5. Must love nerds (real nerds, not just some model with glasses).

(Of course my wife is perfect and puts up with me.)

Oh, and don't try to be "hot". That's annoying and comes off as clingy and desperate. Let your true beauty show because every woman is gorgeous in her own way. It's like picking through a pile of diamonds; each is beautiful, but each is cut into her own shape.

One thing is without a doubt something that draws me to a girl. If she's attractive enough anyway.. (I mean she's not someone so out of place physically for my type) and she takes time out for me and pays me attention, it won't be hard for her to tug at my heart and draw me in. Genuine interest in me of course. Laughing at my jokes not because she wants to make me feel good but because she finds me funny. Respectful of me, but not bowing down to me. Yes, that is a big thing.

If you like a guy he may or may not find you attractive but I think many guys are not as forward today becuse of all of the negative rep men get for always trying to "pick up" on girls. It's hard for us to do, without feeling like a total dork. So even if you're not sure what he will think, pay attention to him. Doesn't have to be flirting, it can be casual "hello" to start. That even raises an eyebrow. From there you can see how he reacts and you haven't invested a lot into it, so if he's not interestd you can walk away unscathed.

Thank you for all your replies, this is what I was looking for. I guess no matter what we need to be who we really are and not to put so much effort looking for someone we don't even know yet. It is just that I noticed that for single people this world is a little bit cruel, I feel like we are in the theater and we are actors were everyone is playing their role, one is "strong and confident man", other "smart and independent woman with a sense of humor", I wish people didn't feel the need to try and be more who they really are, or wouldn't be hiding because of their bad experiences.

The world isn't cruel if you change your view. You're single, sure and it's not an easy place to be.. but being in a relationship only trades off the challenges for new ones.

Enjoy your life, be who you are, if someone comes along that piques your interest, say hi, and break the ice. If you find confidence in yourself and your singlehood I guarantee you're 10x as attractive to the males out there *hugs*

thank you

Confidence is part of modern dating culture, but it's not just a buzz word IMO. I think people need to be in a long-term relationship with others who are strong/sure in themselves and thus make such a relationship bearable and sustainable. We probably say it more in modern times since we're starting to uncover now what makes men and women attractive.

I would say further that don't get confused or perplexed by dating. I think society does make it seem more complex than it needs to be, however I feel people should simply be sure of themselves and know what kind of person would suit them/best reflects who they are.

You're very welcome. I must add none of this just comes from my head and rationalization but from experience. I had a breakup of 13+ years almost 2 years ago. Trust me, I know exactly where you are.

I don't say this lightly at all but it does get better. I've grown stronger and more independent and happy but it didn't happen over night. There will be tough days ahead and some almost unbearable moments but, hun, you will get through it and as you do, you will grow in strength, in character and find your way.

I say these things even as I just recently have had my heart broken again. I am down but I am not out and I feel a lot of what you're feeling, but I know.. deep down, it will pass and I will be better for it.

Hang in there, you'll get there! *hugs*
~S4

I needed to hear it becauseI am sure everyone is familiar with a feeling "I wish i could end it and die, there is no way it will stop hurting", if others get through it then I will too. I am still alive, although it is different "alive"

I think people need to be with people they love, I think society is sinking with our modern "culture" all I see around myself is meaningless dating process, when was the last time you felt like you would give your life for someone else?

s4ndm4n2006 what i was saying by be outgoing is, dont shy away from the world. it is perfectly fine to be reserved and not a social butterfly... but a well spoken person is more attractive than a person who stairs at the floor saying ummm i dont know i dont know.... and the humor part, is meant to say. dont be affraid to enjoy other people and yourself, dont take life too serious no one makes it out alive!!! and you are right beauty isd in the eye of the beholder.. but the qualities ive listed is something that makes awell rounded person. and cant call it being fake because it is just good practice in being happy with yourself and not affraid to love life NO acting involved!! lightinthesky, you seem like a good person with your heart in the right spot... like i said what i have listed before is a good outline for life in general.... but you will have to mold it to yourself and make it work for you!!! i wish you nothing but the best and hope you find exactly what you are looking for...!!! and to Danvb... i agree with you 100% about all of the things you said, but i feel its more commitment qualities than initial attraction... but i def. look for all that with my partner!!! and lightinhesky thank you for your reply on mine!!!

always welcome

If you follow my posts, you'll come to understand that I am a person that takes things very literally and many times don't read very well into "intent" beyond the exact words on the page. I understand now what you mean.

But if you force yourself to interact unnaturally it is faking it, but I'm guessing you don't really mean that either