[PrisonBound]

So, thru therapy I've come to realize my mother was/is a horrible mother. I'm 45 now, she's 74.

I have a daughter who is 16. As a parent myself, before therapy, I looked back and realized she wasn't the greatest, but thru therapy, I've realized just how awful, narcissistic, selfish, etc etc she is and how that's affected me my entire life.

I've discussed it at great length w my T. I won't confront her because that will not do anything good for me and she will deny, cry, etc. I just don't want to see her. Sounds bad, but just as my T said, she made a choice to do those things she did. I struggle now, (same age as her when she was busy screwing me up) but I choose to get help and not put my kid last. She doesn't get a pass for just getting old.

I never suffered from any form of physical abuse whatsoever from anyone...just the usual neglect, etc. So I went thru my life hating myself, never thinking I was good enough, ...the usual pathology.

Anyway, ONLY reason I'm going is bc my daughter doesn't know how crappy her grandmother was to her dad (she's a good grandma), and I'll make it thru for my kid, but really have no desire to see her. And yes, I'm angry with her...I know it comes thru. She sucks. She made choices to put one of her several husbands first. As a parent I'm pissed she could do that to her own kid and now I think she doesn't deserve a thing...but I won't do that to my daughter and/or use her as a pawn.

Just venting...thanks for reading

[PrisonBound]

sorry mods....meant to put this in the forum below... "relationships".

My apologies

[edward6]

I got it from both my parents, my father being the worst, but only forgiveness has set me free. Eventually, I saw just how sick those two were, and that helped to heal me because I realized it was they, not I who were at fault. I'm not totally healed because when I read your story, I started to get angry all over again, but I know the way to my mental health, and that's a lot better than the way it was for so long. Know that you're not alone in this struggle, if that helps.

[PrisonBound]

It does help! Appreciate the response. good luck to you

[avlady]

i agree with edward6

[nycgal448]

My parents sucked!!! Not fortunate w that aspect. I feel for you guyz.
we end up spending the rest of our lives making it up to our kids, or
promise we will never be like our parents.