[maggy.ng]

I've been with him for a year. Im younger than him alot. I love him so much, he did either.

My problem is I've been looking behind him. He has friend with his 13 yo older housemate (they dated 1 year, then was housemate for 6 years), she is now in her hometown. I was jealous of her, because he's been talking with her everyday even in distance. So, I was mad, though he reassured nothing happened. Some days ago I abused him about that and destroy a house plant she gave it to him. Before he cared for me alot, show most of his love to me. It was my fault.

After that, he suggested to take break, then i accepted. In 2day break, we didnt talk, or see each other. Then I chatted with him to meet up, he competely pulls me away. He hasnt talked to me, he just talks when he needs my help, (at that time, i always feel he uses me), ignored me, no intimacy, but still has sex with me, let me hang out at his appartment. (I know it's gonna be a sign of a break-up early)

I said sorry, i cried, he doesnt wanna hear it, (because I raised it up so many times) I know that's my very fault. I learned a lesson. Plz help me, what can I do to keep him back?. I dont wanna a break-up. It's hopeless 'cause he says he doesnt "feel close to me anymore, exhausted with me."

I personally don't want to rain on your parade that is about your taking all the blame here but I will be honest, and wonder about his motives in the first place with his ex, so I really don't blame you for getting upset.

Who goes out of their way to connect with exes, accept gifts and keeps in touch with them like that? You are not all that far off when you say you were suspicious. IMO, I think that's weird. For me, for my current gf or SO's benefit I would steer clear of exes, period. Fact that he was so quick to want to take a break also makes me question him. Instead of being so angry as to actually push you away like this he should WANT to give you security.

He doesn't want to hear it, he is making you out to be a terrible person for being jealous? He should understand that this would cause a lot of problems with a great number of women out there or men.. it really bothers me that he's making you feel so bad for feeling insecure.

I can't tell you what to do to get him back. I can't in good conscience suggest that but that you just let it go move on. That is just my opinion based on your post.. I could be wrong..

[maggy.ng]

i do think it's hopeless, i raised it up alot, and he listened to me, and reassured me before, right now when i made a big fight, he turned to it. I know my fault, plz help me!

@s4ndm4n2006: thank you

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by maggy.ng

i do think it's hopeless, i raised it up alot, and he listened to me, and reassured me before, right now when i made a big fight, he turned to it. I know my fault, plz help me!

@s4ndm4n2006: thank you

You are hurting because he's emotionally intimate with another woman. You need to be the first priority. What is going on destroys trust. Are you really as insecure, just because you are younger than him, or are your needs in the relationship not being met, because he's got one foot planted in your door and the other in hers?

There's being sporadically acquainted with an ex and then there's this type of contact, that takes away from the relationship you are in.

You wrote " he's been talking with her everyday even in distance", what for?! How can there be emotional intimacy with you, when he's emotionally intimate with her?

If he's in denial about how this hurts you and your relationship, and unwilling to bend and make you a priority, then it's time to walk. As much as it is painful, playing second fiddle isn't conducive to being the primary relationship. He's unable to open himself to you, as he needs to, since he's already got the comfort of her supportive ear/arms.

His reassurance, that it's just 'friends', doesn't help a darn thing!! It's more than just intentions of 'just platonic', it's excessive and he may as well, be her beau and just your bed.

[Macrick]

Originally Posted by maggy.ng

I've been with him for a year. Im younger than him alot. I love him so much, he did either.

My problem is I've been looking behind him. He has friend with his 13 yo older housemate (they dated 1 year, then was housemate for 6 years), she is now in her hometown. I was jealous of her, because he's been talking with her everyday even in distance. So, I was mad, though he reassured nothing happened. Some days ago I abused him about that and destroy a house plant she gave it to him. Before he cared for me alot, show most of his love to me. It was my fault.

After that, he suggested to take break, then i accepted. In 2day break, we didnt talk, or see each other. Then I chatted with him to meet up, he competely pulls me away. He hasnt talked to me, he just talks when he needs my help, (at that time, i always feel he uses me), ignored me, no intimacy, but still has sex with me, let me hang out at his appartment. (I know it's gonna be a sign of a break-up early)

I said sorry, i cried, he doesnt wanna hear it, (because I raised it up so many times) I know that's my very fault. I learned a lesson. Plz help me, what can I do to keep him back?. I dont wanna a break-up. It's hopeless 'cause he says he doesnt "feel close to me anymore, exhausted with me."

There's a saying goes, you can't have the cake & eat it. Hope this lesson is useful for you