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#1
Nov 05, 2006, 02:41 PM
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Just wondering how you know when you love somebody? and are there people just totaly incapabale of loving or incapable of receiving love? and if they can not learn how to love can they then learn how to care about others and just be simply likeable?
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#2
Nov 05, 2006, 05:00 PM
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wow, I'm curious about this question myself..I believe when you love someone you will know its love by the way you feel ... I have given all my love to someone and to be honest, he is one person I believe can only love so much . There are people out there who only want to receive and not give back or should I say "they dont know how to give back"..I can't wait to see the responses to this one...alot of smart people on this sight ...they have helped me many times ...good luck and take care
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#3
Nov 05, 2006, 05:18 PM
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I'm no expert on the subject, but it seems to me that the only people who are 'incapable' of feeling or receiving love are those who are commited to staying that way. If you're open to it, then it can and most likely will happen.
If you're just striving to care about others and be likeable... I don't know how to answer that, because I have a feeling that there is a context to your question but I don't know what it is. It would be great if you could elaborate on that part of your question. How do you know you love somebody? There are a lot of answers to that, but none of them are precise or can be applied to all situations. My feelings for my husband are just as intense now as they were when I first started dating him more than 6 years ago. I think the only difference is that he isn't on my mind 24/7 now (ie, infatuation). But I care about every feeling he has and with each decision I make in my own life, I consider how it would impact him. To me, that's how I know that I love him. Good luck with your quest!
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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#4
Nov 05, 2006, 06:59 PM
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It's totally just my opinion but I kind of think that love is a choice. I can't go by feelings alone. My feelings lie too much (when I can even figure them out). But I can choose to love someone, regardless of things. My feelings can change based on how I or the other person reacts or acts and there are some days that I don't find that person very likable (as I'm sure other people don't always find me likable). But I still choose to love that person.
Also, I have to go more by actions. If that person says they "love" me or I say I love them, what do their actions say, what do mine say? As LMo said though, I guess it depends on what angle you are looking at it and why. I hope you find your answer.
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#5
Nov 06, 2006, 02:38 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Is_this_the_right_place said: Just wondering how you know when you love somebody? and are there people just totaly incapabale of loving or incapable of receiving love? and if they can not learn how to love can they then learn how to care about others and just be simply likeable? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> To ME.............. LoVe is when YOU think about another persons needs more than you think about your own - when YOU cannot get through a single day without seeing the other person or at least being able to hear their voice on the phone. LoVe is when he takes care of her needs and she takes cares of his needs, therefore, no one is left out - you both are happy and connected to one heart.... the circle is now complete and unity has been created. LoVe, Rhapsody - 
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#6
Nov 06, 2006, 05:12 AM
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I think that there are many different kinds of love. In English we have this one word... I think there were around 7 different words for different kind of love in Ancient Greek...
Fatherly love Motherly love Brotherly love Romantic love Platonic love (friendly love) and I forget the rest. What is love? Some people think love is a feeling... If you love someone then you feel warm loving feelings for them. Some people think love is in behaviour... If you love someone then you act with their welfare in mind. Some people seem incapable of loving behaviour... Mostly because... They don't know how. Trouble with the feeling is that it can come and go... Especially when the feeling is intense. Some people think love is a committment... When there are warm feelings of positive regard (rather than overt feelings of lust or whatever). When there is friendship and companionship. When there is a committment to be with one another. I think... Love takes time... Time to decide whether you want to committ or not... But loving behaviours and respect for others welfare is something that we can foster all the time... I don't know... Dunno if this helps. |
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#7
Nov 06, 2006, 03:51 PM
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From my daughter's wedding ceremony:
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not show off, it does not brag; does not behave rudely, isn't selfish, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in wrongs done, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Love isn't only a feeling. It's a misconception to think that S____ and K_______ fell in love, got married and felt groovy the rest of their lives. Love is a commitment and an action even when you don't feel like it." I've never experienced the receipt of that kind of love, but that's how *I* love someone whether it's romantic love or not... unless the other person refuses to respect me or is selfish in what they call love. That's a start, anyway, in what Love means to me.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#8
Nov 06, 2006, 05:05 PM
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A tough question; all good responses.
From having sought this and failed in romantic relationships, my sister said to me one time, "You shouldn't be feeling this nervous and anxious...You should be feeling PEACE!" So, yeah, I think when it's right, there is peace of mind, comfort, and assurance between two people. As for people who just don't know how or can't love...that was my ex husband of 20 years. I tried desperately during all of that time to buy into the "love is a choice" theory. It just didn't work. Patty |
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#9
Nov 06, 2006, 05:11 PM
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I'm not sure if I love or not. I tend to close myself a lot. While a baby on up Then one day I did let myself be open, She slept with a few guys this crushed me. So I tend to be with someone and loving the best I know how to.
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as always ONE DAY AT A TIME |
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#10
Nov 06, 2006, 05:19 PM
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To me love is sticking together through good times and hard times. We have come out stronger in our relationship especially after comming out of some hard times. Our love has grown into something deeper, not lust but real love and respect for each other. We each have our own activities and we don't really share hobbies together but as it's said differences attract. I suppose it must be true as we have been married 21 years and we've known each other for 23 years. I feel we are still young. We are in our early forties and our kids are grown up so we still have a whole life ahead of us.
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"to be or not to be" that is the question  Domino 
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#11
Nov 06, 2006, 09:40 PM
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Domino, you are truly blessed.
__________________
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#12
Nov 06, 2006, 09:44 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
are there people just totaly incapabale of loving or incapable of receiving love? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I've been meaning to give my opinion on this and keep forgetting. My answer would be YES. I married a man like this 31 yrs ago. I've finally given up trying to show him and explain to him even what FRIENDSHIP is. He's very self-centered, even with our children.  Oh, well... his loss.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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#13
Nov 08, 2006, 05:39 PM
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You asked if there was a context LMo... well I was just thinking the other day about how I have trouble with other people and I realised I had never actually realy cared for anyone, I mean sure I've met people I get along with and have fun with, but I wouldn't say I care for them or love them.
The reason I was thinking this was cause I was feeling very lonely and unloved, but then how can I expect people to care about me if I've never actually cared about anybody myself? So basically I want to learn how to care for other people. As I see it, loving somebody like you all have described it sounds like a real great thing to do and I want to learn to be good like that. But it's not that easy, I'll actually have to go out and find somebody to care about and I have no idea how to do that  I'm just trying to find out what exactly it is that I want and wether it is at all possible. |
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