[kitty]

I had my appt w/the new therapist last night. I liked his approach - behavior modification. He also seemed extremely interested in what I had to say and validated my feelings. We discussed techniques to change my sleep patterns and how to deal w/panic attacks. He was also willing to share certain aspects of his life and even had pictures of his family. He even has his home number on his business card. Of course, this is only the first session, so we will have to see what happens next time.
I left a message for my other therapist that I am not coming back. I feel bad about that whole thing. I really did try to talk to her about how I felt she did not care about me. I feel that I have failed. I really did want her to help me and I think I also wanted her approval. She just seemed to get so frustrated w/me. Maybe she just did not like me and never should have taken me as a patient. Oh, well.

[whereislife]

Hi Kitty

You should never feel bad for doing what you know in your heart is right.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[mylife]

I think it's better for you to be comfortable with the person you are talking to. If you felt that something wasn't "right" with the last one, but you have a good feeling about working with the new one things she go much better for you. A person just won't make optimum progress if s/he isn't <u>completely</u> comfortable with the therapist. I'm glad to hear that you found someone who will listen and take care of your needs. It sounds like a good match!

[curlyq]

Good going for getting a new one and letting the old one go. You have not failed. You have done what you needed to do to progress in your life. Your other one sounded either burned out or cranky to me! She seemed to not be able to discuss things normally, too. I wouldn't worry about her. But I know I've felt that way before but realize now we were not a good match. The last one I had I felt awful with. I'm glad I stopped seeing her. Take care and best wishes for you with your new therapist.CQ

<font color=blue>"Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves." Joseph P. Thompson</font color=blue>

<font color=red>"Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate expression." Isaac Bashevis Singer</font color=red>

<font color=purple>"Experience teaches slowly and at the cost of mistakes." James A. Froude</font color=purple>

[mj14]

kitty, different people have different needs in a therapist...the fact that your old therapist did not suit you is in no way a failure...if anything, it may be considered a failure on her part, because it is the responsibility of a therapist to suggest a change if they realize they are not connecting with a patient.

I'm so glad to hear that you feel more of a connection with the new person. I hope all continues to go well for you.

mj

[kitty]

Thank you all for your responses. They were very reaffirming. My old therapist returned my call about stopping therapy and she seemed elated that I was ending therapy! I was a bit taken aback. I thought she would try to convince me to continue, but this confirms that she obviously either did not like me or felt frustrated by me. She wants me to come one more time to discuss "where we have been, what we have accomplished and where we are now", but I really don't see the point. I feel disappointed and disappointed in myself for wanting the approval of someone who is not going to give it to me. I really feel like calling her and telling her her this, but I am going to try and resist and not call her back at all. I know I am probably being silly and obsessing about this.

[mylife]

Just a simple question, if you don't mind. When you told her that you were ending sessions with her, did you say that you are starting up with a new therapist? Maybe the old one didn't understand? She could be looking for feedback in asking you to come back one final time. If it were me, I'm not sure what I would do on that either. It would take some thought. I think it would feel kind of goofy actually. No matter what, I think you made a good choice. You are better off with someone you like.

[kitty]

I actually just left her a message that I was not going to come back again and did not leave her an explanation. I bet you are right and she is just looking for feedback. If that is the case, I think I would rather send her a letter. If she ever calls back again and I find out why she wants me to come back one more time, I will let you know.

[Zenobia]

Just remember that you are in a business relationship with your T. If a contracter for you house isn't listening to what you need done in your house you will fire him. Same goes with a T. It is nothing to feel bad about.
Zen

PS I realize that is cold and simplifying but at the core of the issue I believe it is true. I guess I need this rationalization to protect myself from become to attached to me T.

************
The path is narrow to the right madness. Be wary of trembling in the wrong places! The demons often disguise themselves as gods. And vice versa.--Sam Keen

[SPRYOR]

You should be worried about yourself not what she thinks of you. You were paying her for a service, for which she was not holding up her end of the bargain. You did the right thing, by looking else where. Hope this one works out for you.