Thoughts

I really want to have a family one day, to be loved by a man who will always be beside me, but when I close my eyes I just don't see this picture. You know like when sometimes you buy a lotto ticket but you know you not gonna be the one who will win the jackpot, so here the same, I don't see myself being that happy and lucky to be in that situation. Why is that? I know what it feels like when you have someone who you want to be your family who you want to live your whole life with, I am so scared there will be no man who will love me this way or I won't be able to feel this way for another man.

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I find in most things in life belief that you can comes before the success. I'll use a personal example..
I want to be someone who is athletic, health conscious, and successful at a small business. Those are my goals right now, so far I have started and stopped, and repeat. What at least for me is holding me back from attaining the results I want to see is lack of belief that I can succeed at them. That belief wavers a bit, so does success right along with it. Sometimes stronger, and then less so.

Alot of my lack of belief stems from fear. Even fear of being successful. Hard one to get at the root of. My fears make it very hard to see the outcome that I want.

Maybe taking a good looking and trying to figure out what the root of that fear is will help you confront and challenge it. For me it's a bit of a slow process, slower than I'd like but then I also admit that I have not given it all the effort and focus that I can. I am holding myself back and getting in my own way.

Not sure if you feel this would apply to you as well. But I have felt that way in love as well before too.

I hope you can let go of the fear, I believe you can find what you seek. I hope you will find what you desire.

I hope too, but just afraid I won't.

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Hmm,maybe writing a list of reasons why you are afraid you won't, and then trying to look at those reasons very objectively to see if they even really hold any weight might help.

It might be hard to figure out what the reasons are that make you afraid. For me often at first it just feels like a general fear.

So many times our fear are unfounded, we just need to provide ourselves with a some evidence to turn it around. It's like when we start negative self talk, it takes no evidence for us to believe negative things, but lots of evidence to believe the positives.

I will try and see what I have. So far it is just a picture in my head that I can not see. It's like you need to be unique to be so happy and loved you need to be so many things that I am not, I am just a simple girl, but my heart does need love, I am afraid I will be unnoticeable. I just can't be so lucky to become so happy.

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All I know is if you don't convince yourself it is possible, then it will never be.

Luck has little to do with becoming happy. Creation tho has lots to do with it, we have to create the life we desire to be living it. It won't come to us, because it's already in us. We are the designers of our lives, in my opinion. Take for example two men whose both loose a leg, one becomes an world class runner, and the other never stands again, is it luck or is it something else?

What's wrong with a simple girl, by the way most "simple" girls are never so, thought I was one too. Not sure they really exist now tho. I very much understand how you feel tho, but guarantee you are not unnoticeable.

You have everything required to be happy, loved and unique, it's all inside you, always was...just have to unburry it and let it shine.

Wow, Anikas' replies made ME feel better!
What great insight you have...sounds like you've done your work!
I am empathizing with Light too, honestly, I'm in an in-between place...I've been single for a really long time, unfortunatly, the wounded person I was tended to select exactly the type of person to be attracted to who would be most likely to renew all the pain stories from my family education...sadly, it hasn't been until very recently that I've learned how I am, and how I bring that, and how to recognize this.
One of the things I've learned in my aloneness is that fear does create a lot of its own self fulfilling prophecies.
So, in order to not be afraid you do have to look at yourself and address your own fears first, find out whats behind them...then when you know, its not so easy to be afraid.
Coming from a negative space to find a partner never seems to end well. When you are healthy and good for yourself you begin to attract that to yourself.
But, you kind of need to be willing to just see the people who come into your life as just that, not as potential partners or potential anything. Just let them be, and if they stay, they stay. Yes of course, you want to foster good communication and healthy interraction, but, I think, patience and the willingness to delay gratification will lead you to recognize the best possible guy to trust and love when he does show up.

Iam in my thirties, engaged twice, only in love twice.. truly in love once. i wanna
get married and settle down w the RIGHT one.. I will not settle for less. I wanna be
w someone who loves both me and my son. Everybody deserves to be loved.

Do you think it means that everyone will be? I am hoping for it because life seems pointless for me without love and I am scared not to find one

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You know.. if it depends on us, I am afraid I will ruin it, what if I will be like a man who never stands again?

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I dont know that everybody is loved, maybe, but everybody should be loved.

I wonder if right now, one of the things holding you back is not so much fear of never being loved again, but fear of loving again yourself. I know you're feeling lost right now, but, if I remember correctly, it's only been a couple months since your break up. It's okay to still feel shaky. After the one major break up in my life, it took me several months before I could even THINK about being with someone else. I think you need to give yourself permission to grieve over the relationship, the person you thought your ex was, who you used to be and give yourself permission to love someone else, not to mention, love yourself as an individual. Find out who you are as a whole and stop thinking of yourself as merely a broken half. You are so much more than that.

Don't worry, you'll get there.

I know what it feels like to be happy and not love and I know how it feels like to be happy and love and to be loved at the same time, I know it is paradise on earth and I am afraid I won't live this life again, he couldn't love anymore