[speedbird]

I just had a fight with one of my friends.

He said that I go through moments in which I'm a good friend. You know, I share my interests with other people and whatnot. THEN, I go through moments in which I'm the "biggest asshole in the world".

He basically told me next that he doesn't care about anything I say, because I'm me. He said that my hatred of the world will do nothing good for me.

I told him that everyone started hating ME first, and that I have the complete right to hate this world.

Before our conversation ended, I told him this: "When you go through what I go through, that is a crappy relationship with your brother that does nothing to repair your self esteem, OCD, thinking you're a child molester and actively seeking punishment for it, and years of suicidal tendencies, don't expect to come out of it sane."

He asked me "Do you think I care? Do you think anyone cares?" He told me that what I'm thinking will be my downfall.

Some people just don't get it.

[speedbird]

PS this is a copy and paste of a post I made in one of my threads. All of it happened, and it's all real.

[Travelinglady]

Wow, that's hard to say. It could be that he is actually trying to be a good friend by getting you to see how he thinks you come across to others.

Maybe he doesn't get all of what you have been through. I guess he's thinking that that can't be changed and it's how people respond to what they have been through that counts.

I am obviously trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

You might want to stay clear of him a few days until your anger cools a bit and he also has time to think about things. Then you could see if he is interested in going out with you for a game of pool or whatever things you have done together in the past.

speedbird, it sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I have found therapy to be very helpful in getting me to come to terms with my abusive childhood and other matters. If you have not talked to a professional, then I do encourage you to consider that possibility. Okay?

He's definitely not worth being friends with. I'm sorry, but "tough love" or not, no one has the right to talk to you like that. Hell, I don't even know if I talk to my enemies that way…

Or if nothing else, stay away from him for a long time and if he tries to contact you, give him another chance if you believe the friendship is worth the risk.

[speedbird]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

To be honest, I don't think I was totally clean in this fight.

It started when I asked him a question on facebook. (The fight was completely online.) He responded with a "....". I got SUPER annoyed because he responds like that all the time, and it seems like he only does that to me. So I started venting. I started saying that I hate him, I hate everyone, I hate my other friends, etc etc.

Then he told me that he doesn't give a damn whether or not I hate him. That's when the fight really started.

I do have a therapist and a psychiatrist to talk to. I will talk to my therapist next week, and my psychiatrist next month.

Maybe he's just as fed up as you are...no one's perfect. I would just be open but civil with him, ask honestly whether you're more invested in the friendship than he is. If you get a '.....' then there's your answer.

Some people just aren't cut out for dealing with more serious issues in a friendship, if this is the case with your friend maybe keep things going on a more superficial level but look for a deeper kind of connection elsewhere.

You could just drop him completely but it's usually not the best thing to do...if you end up regretting it and going back to the person it just makes for further embarrassment and regret. If you're not up to talking him directly be a tad aloof for a bit and see what to do once things cool over. Good luck.

[speedbird]

Hi guys, just want to let you all know that I've considered what you said.

With that being said...this son of a ***** really needs a lesson taught. He told me that my words can't affect him, because I am worth nothing to him. How can I destroy his life? How can I make him like me, maybe even worse?

This was not the first fight we had. Ever since last summer he's been giving me nothing but trouble. At this point, I'm just fed up.

Originally Posted by speedbird

Hi guys, just want to let you all know that I've considered what you said.

With that being said...this son of a ***** really needs a lesson taught. He told me that my words can't affect him, because I am worth nothing to him. How can I destroy his life? How can I make him like me, maybe even worse?

This was not the first fight we had. Ever since last summer he's been giving me nothing but trouble. At this point, I'm just fed up.

You seem to have nothing but anger toward this person.
They have a toxic presence in your life.
No matter where any "blame" may or may not fall, this is probably not the time to have any kind of friendship with this person.
Neither of you can handle it, clearly.

That is not a judgement of character toward either of you- I don't know you, it can't be- but you seem dead set on now hurting this person... who is supposed to be your friend?

Friends don't keep score with hurt-for-hurt, so whatever role you actually assign this person in your life, they aren't really a friend, and certainly it is not a health relationship to have at this time.

You should be focusing on yourself, really.
If someone made me feel like crap for such a long time, they are not my friend- either they are a blood relative I can not cut loose or at this point they have been made a complete stranger.